i showed my friend the sun bears from that post and he was like “what about moon bears” and there IS in fact a type of bear nicknamed the moon bear and fuckingh nothing could’ve prepared me for the images

large. wide. sit.

Opposite energy

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.

Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

It’s totally okay to say “you know what, this isn’t making me happy” and to walk away from whatever or whoever is keeping you from the happiness you deserve

me halfway through unpacking the dishwasher when i get to the cutlery

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

oh shit

criminalise golf

If you’re fortunate enough, your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness.

Not if I swallow this glow stick!

GOTTEM

this shit killed me wtf

god put me on this world and said “let this dumbass roam”

my favorite thing is when you pick up an animal and you look them in the eyes and you can tell nothings going on behind them. you look at them and theres just elevator music. stupid animals really are like the fucking best, the lights are on but no one is home

me: hmm what happens if i forcibly bend this thing

thing: *breaks*

me: