Thanks for the question, Anon!

-when my erection won't go away

theres nothing i hate more than open ended plans like when you talked about doing something with someone but you never officially set it up. is this real like should i request off work……please…. i need structure or ill die 

It would be real fucked up if anteaters and aardvarks and armadillos and pangolins were all like herons. Instead of like themselves the trundlers

They are trundling. On their way to brunch. Of ants. we've established this.

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

yet another massive w for water, the greatest fluid in the universe

I am NOT a fungus I do NOT like it damp humid I don’t creeping around the walls. Im not mold

Daily Affirmations

we haven't had a true tumblr sexyman in years. Sans was like the last one. I can still see his weird glowing goo ghost dick when I close my eyes. that kind of absolute derangement just doesn't happen anymore. some people just liking Astarion and Senshi a lot is not the same. a true tumblr sexyman makes this website absolutely unusable

oh my god it was the porn ban. the porn ban killed the tumblr sexyman. the horny can't fester and multiply like it used to. the sexymen are killed in their infancy

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

im not a very patriotic woman but i nonetheless whole-heartedly support every drive-through employee’s constitutional right to be blazed out of their fuckin gourd

legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff

marcille is NOT an animal crossing cozy gamer girl she is a fucking spreadsheet warrior. maybe she plays stardew valley but she runs that farm like the navy

tired: marcille plays animal crossing and nothing else

wired: senshi plays animal crossing and nothing else

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

i'm so glad i happened to see these tags this is the best thing anyone has added to this post so far

Reading a book about slavery in the middle-ages, and as the author sorts through different source materials from different eras, I am starting to understand why so many completely fantastical accounts of "faraway lands" went without as much as a shrug. The world is such a weird place that you can either refuse to believe any of it or just go "yeah that might as well happen" and carry on with your day.

There was this 10th century arab traveller who wrote into an account that the fine trade furs come from a land where the night only lasts one hour in the summer and the sun doesn't rise at all in the winter, people use dogs to travel, and where children have white hair. I don't think I'd believe something like that either if I didn't live here.

I mean honestly everything that Arab traveler said lines up with the Arctic areas, except the white hair part, I don't know where that originates from, or if it's accurate

If I had to guess, maybe they had albinism? Or maybe it's one of those cases where kids sometimes start out with one hair color and develop a different one when they get older. This is all conjecture, but something to consider.

Still really cool tho

guys, the traveler just wasnt used to blondes

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

we built dick city

we built dick city on cock and balls

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

It's been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn't come close today

My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall

HI EVERYONE OP HERE I QUIT THIS JOB TODAY

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

oh we missed the ten year anniversary of the worst post i’ve ever made

traffic again?