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Oh, screw beautiful. I'm brilliant.

@biopsychs / biopsychs.tumblr.com

BSc Honours in Psychology. Researcher in training. Mental health advocate. Book lover. Aspiring clinical neuropsychologist. Passionate about knowledge translation and community-engaged research.
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Life update since I went MIA lol

Idek how long ago, but I took a break from Tumblr (and other things in my life) because I'm dealing with anxiety and depression that have impacted my functioning/daily life. I'm in therapy, taking meds, basically trying to get help in any way that I can but things have not really improved so far. I have lots of supportive people in my life and access to mental health services, so at least I've got that going for me. I may come back to posting here occasionally/whenever I feel like it.

In spite of my struggles, I managed to graduate with my Honours Bachelor of Science in Psychology and won a small student grant to continue my study (my study was evaluating virtual cognitive testing). My supervisor was supportive of me when I needed help (I have definitely learned the importance of having a good, kind supervisor). I got to do a guest lecture on brain damage and repair for the class I was TAing, so that was cool. Also, I presented research posters at two virtual conferences.

I've been working as a research assistant this summer. My main project is a qualitative neurorehabilitation study. My other research assistant position is wrapping up soon (it was my first ever research position). We're sending a manuscript out for review and working on knowledge translation.

I am barely managing to get my work done right now, but I'm trying to make some life changes since I've been isolating myself at home nearly every day. I've applied for a couple jobs that I'm excited about and I'm looking to move out of my parent's house.

I am pretty sure I won't be applying to grad school this upcoming cycle (but I will eventually). Even though I look good on paper, I don't think I have the mental clarity or energy to apply anytime soon. The thought of not applying would've freaked me out years ago, but it just feels right and takes a huge pressure off my shoulders. My mental illnesses also squashed my love for research this past year (basically things I used to be so excited about just feel like a chore now) and I think my research interests have shifted a bit and I don't have the energy to sort through that right now.

Some fun/nice things I have done this summer: Visited a winery and brewery with friends. Cut my hair and got highlights. Threw a graduation party for myself and a couple friends since we didn't get an in-person graduation ceremony. Outdoor movie nights because one of my friends got a projector. Fostered two puppies. Started watching Criminal Minds. Tried goat yoga. Lots of after dinner trips to get gelato or ice cream for dessert. Paddle boarding on the lake.

#that's it for now#i hope you are all happy healthy and surrounded by people who love you#shit happens and life goes on and we make it through all of the worst days#.txt#updates
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studyxpsych

• late august, last days of summer, new semester looming in the distance…. I can feel the autumn in the air.

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ohk4te
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owlmylove

no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons

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best-cranberry
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raskies456

the idea that meds/therapy can’t fix problems caused by situational/societal issues can coexist with the idea that meds and therapy can be very helpful for many people and shouldn’t be demonized or presented as useless for risk of scaring people away that might really benefit

#mental health
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slfcare

be proud of yourself for

  • the progress nobody sees
  • feeling all of your emotions (and learning how to make peace with them + give them space)
  • standing up for yourself even though you lost people because of it
  • making time for yourself
  • doing better
  • saying no to people
  • letting go of people for your own sake
  • no longer allowing others to decide when you can and when you can’t be proud of yourself
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spiralupandout
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compassionatereminders

No, taking that shower, eating that meal, cleaning your space, going on that walk or having that conversation won't cure you, but there's a good chance it'll make you less miserable in the moment - and isn't that a fine goal by itself?

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creatinghelen
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ilovehugs777

sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

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ilovehugs777

and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remember that I am living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.

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