fuck that baby shoes story. this is the shortest saddest story ever told.

>you will own nothing

>you will even have to finance your pizza

>you will be happy

Little German boy vacuuming his house like ja das crumbsinsoil go up thru the suckentuber

love watching almost 50,000 people cheer on this perfect creature evade rent-a-cops for four fucking minutes

my apparently very exclusive breaking bad fan theory

“… and make sure the beaver has huge tits.”

if i got put in a jigsaw trap and survived i wouldnt learn anything id just be like well that was fucked up lol

I cannot get over this omfg

you’re too late spiderman!

WEED HAS BEEN LEGALIZED. NYEHAHEHEHAHEHEAHHHHAH

BUT YOU’RE THE ONE GETTING SMOKED GOBBY!

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

Whiteout, Ying Yin

This is what being over 25 on this website feels like