He just tryna get some head. Stay woke.

honestly

ppl who are sad on valentines day make ME sad ..buy your own chocolate… drink a whol bottle of wine ..slap ur own ass..  .live 

Slap your own ass…..

Did I stutter ????

Slap

Ya

Own

Ass

i wish i was four again 

How president Obama’s vacation days stack up against previous presidents.

Interesting.

Oh.

Republicans like to relax huh

Bruh they taking whole years off

There was a whole year Bush just said fuck being President.

Damn lol

William Shakespeare (via bl-ossomed)

u dumb if you let me go

#That’s it. That’s the entire show.

this is mean and terrible but it exhausts me to be around people who haven’t finished going through their pretentious asshole phase like okay holden caulfield I know we’re all helplessly suckling at the teat of modern media but can you shut up and play some goddamn mario kart for like five minutes

why do i always fall for the bad boys *thinking about Lord Farquaad*

This child is our light

The best heading I’ve ever read.

The sub header is almost better

what if i die and my last thought is “mmm watcha say”

I FUCKING HATE THIS I WISH I HADNT SEEN THIS POST I KNOW IT I KNOW IM GUNNA KEEP THIS POST IN MY BRAIN UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ITS GUNNA BE ONE OF THOSE RANDOM THINGS THAT YOU REMEMBER FOR NO REASON IM GOING TO BE HURT AND DYING AND KEEP THINKING MMM WHATCHA SAY AND BE GOING FUCK NO I NEED TO STOP THIS BUT I WONT BE ABLE TO

The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”

#or when you can’t think of anything to say sigh dramatically and yell LINE

But actually…