what?!

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

This has the same energy as a writer desperately trying to make their insanely cool but devastatingly off the wall plot point work with the rest of the story

doom yourself before the narrative does

#sabotage = self control (via @isthatovid)

This is ✨IT✨

newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it

me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.

The tumblr experience is having politics that make the most left leaning progressive you know irl blush and then logging on here and getting called a bootlicker fascist because you said that you dont think we should make the reign of terror happen again

Me irl: the problem isnt taxes, youre thinking too small. The problem is that the federal government isnt taxing the right people the right amount. Theyre taking all our extra cash in our measly little wealth bracket and letting the billionaires hang on to more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime. The only way anybody gets a single billion is either through exploitation or inheriting it from someone else who did the exploitation, nobody who has that kind of money earned it legitimately. Not only do we need to strip that back into social safety nets for those of us theyre bleeding dry instead, but they need to establish hard laws and regulations to prevent that kind of exploitation from happening in the first place!

My coworkers: man, youre a real red-card commie, aren't you? You gonna start telling us to vote NDP and that healtcare isnt a scam too? Jesus christ go give someone else your goddamn revolution pamphlets, lenin.

Me on tumblr: while i appreciate the animosity towards billionaires, i dont think literally dragging a guillotine into the streets and beheading people as a public spectacle is going to actually solve the problems inherent in the system considering the french already tried that and it didnt work out well for them. Also i dont think anybody has the right to decide who lives and who dies, im pretty anti death penalt-

Tumblr users: how does that boot taste, fascist?

I'm with you on guillotines, but . . .

"We should heavily tax the wealthy and regulate the behavior of corporations" is . . . it's bog-standard liberalism.

I don't disagree with it! All in favor! But if the most left-leaning progressive you know irl is blushing at "keep capitalism, just tax the rich and pass laws to protect the worker," you may not be hanging out with that many left-leaning progressives, is all I'm saying.

Except that nowhere did i say to keep capitalism, and this was clearly an example of me talking to conservative coworkers.

Please do not put words in my mouth or assume that i am a "bog-standard liberal" based on said example of talking to conservatives. I do not appreciate it very much

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

There's a cinematic equivalent of "this meeting could have been an email" where you get about two hours into a feature-length blockbuster and it occurs to you that this would have lost nothing meaningful if it had been a ten-minute short film on YouTube.

I would also volunteer "this miniseries should have just been a movie".

See Kenobi. It's a good story ... that only really needed ninety minutes to two hours to tell. They had to really pad out the middle to stretch it out to a full season when it could have just been a movie.

Level 1: Miniseries that could have been a feature film.

Level 2: Feature film that could have been a short film.

Level 3: Short film that could have been a TikTok sketch.

Level 4: TikTok sketch that could have been a rage comic.

Level 5: Yeah, maybe just keep that one to yourself.

Beyoncé at SUPERVINYL (2024)

i gotta romanticize this silly little life so i don’t romanticize killing my silly little self

i cannot use logic to talk somebody out of a position that they did not use logic to arrive at. i cannot use logic to talk somebody out of a position that they did not use logic to arrive at. i cannot use logic to talk somebody out of a position that they did not use logic to arrive at. i cannot

“Kill them with kindness.” Of course. Just make sure you do kill them.

nope sorry post is closed go home everyone.

threatening to turn off reblogs and then letting us reblog anyway is kinda brat behavior.

am I that much of an open book

If this isn't the truest thing

nice legs, daisy dukes, makes a man go

he's gone

The mourners all hold hands and bow their heads