Glitter Geeks And Circus Freaks

Ironic that Bilbo is so annoyed with the Sackville-Bagginses for stealing from him and trying to evict him from his house, when his whole adventure involves stealing from someone and evicting them from their house.  

To be fair, he was essentially helping someone else get rid of their own Sackville-Bagginses

This is an absolutely world-rocking take on narrative parallels in The Hobbit. Like why yes those were equally petty property disputes, and your point?

Thorin: “The dragon Smaug is terrible beast who has invaded our home and taken the heirlooms of our people as his loot.”

Bilbo: *remembering the last time Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was in his house* “I know the type.”

i don’t want to look “hot” i want to look alluring, haunting, bewitching. i want to look like the kind of person hozier would write a song about.

Don’t think too much, unless you are thinking about baby crows like these:

If that’s the case then continue thinking about them a lot, because that’s a really good idea and I fully support it.

ryanpernofski on ig

I was drawing a bunch of pentagrams in my notebook during math class because I was bored and I think I drew 150 pentagrams in total before a devilish-looking guy wearing a red suit broke down the door of the classroom and yelled “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?!”

this username escapes me every single time

The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner

The fact that I am “not a vampire” and have to “go back to work tomorrow” is hitting pretty hard right about now.

— Paul Valéry, tr. by Hilary Corke, from “The Young Fate,” wr. c. 1919

why do people always ask me about sexual fantasies but never about my other fantasies? i don’t think about dick, jonathan. i think about wearing a haute couture dress and a princess tiara and running around a stone palace with sunlight and enough mirrors around to bask in my aesthetic glory.

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES]