Johnny cash is kind of a thot huh

“are you wearing th-“

“the chanel boots? yeah, i am.”

what did Europeans even do before google maps.

how did y'all find your streets

me: please....please just put signs on them...

The Dublin street layout engineer I've trapped in my basement: if you aren't smart enough to solve my Riddles Three and find the ancient cornerstone, older than your fucking country, upon which I've etched a tiny cipher that, when cracked, reveals what street you're on, then you shouldn't be in fucking Ireland [spits out blood]

Me: I DIDNT EVEN HIT YOU. WHERE DID YOU GET THE BLOOD

There’s a city in Germany, Mannheim, where the city center is laid out on a grid, but instead of naming the roads they named the blocks. So your grocery store might be on block L5. and that refers to, like, the square on the grid paper where the building is, rather than the street on which the building is.

Which like, ok fine. you’d assume the numbers go in order one way, and the letters go in order perpendicular to that.

They do not do that.

why

fckucking hwhat

See you in 1977

It is literally impossible to pick a favorite line from this because the entire thing is gold. 

this passes the bechdel test

i was gonna say “but they don’t have names!” but they do. the blonde’s name is dumb thotticus and the brunette’s name is m-seq

strong contender for post of the decade

This is what happens when you're still on tumblr as an adult, you start reblogging shit like this

me irl

oh yeah heres my collection of 2021 headlines that i forgot to post when the year ended

No more hell... horse heaven

I can be your Ellen the generous 😇.. or your Ellen degenerate 😈

i’m .........

British food

Mute this. The music is annoying.

Follow @brattylikestoeat for more.

Penis Music Saturday

too many people see evolution as just animals becoming better animals when the truth is that theres a species of boar that evolved to die because its tusks grow into its skull because the males with long tusks fuck the most

Yep.

And don’t forget the Irsih elk, which supposedly went extinct because its antlers were too bleeding huge for it to function, and the ladies wouldn’t bang a man if his antlers were not huge enough.