Damnyo.

Tell me I aint FUCKIN

time for another bpd episode, poor car suffers again.

Drive car, got defected, made friend, bought toyota car

Will life get better?

Seems to be throwing at lot at me right now.

Does it want me to give up?

my car is a ghosthouse print

dads in hospital

i feel sick and chronically lonely rn

took car to another state, showed pink car to strangers, strangers liked pink car. very serotonin. thanks for coming to my ted talk

as if my birthday couldn't get more depressing than it usually is, this year it's alone stuck in isolation with covid. I normally feel alienated but this is just a whole other level of alienation. To be honest I don't know how much longer I can be fucked with this all.

fuck it, lets go hills

Toying with the idea of moving again, starting over. But i'd be letting too many people down. And so i suffer through this.

I want to make everyone happy but I cannot be, I wanted to be useful but nobody lets me. I just want to exist in peoples minds and not get stabbed in the back. If i'm not useful i'm nothing

motivation to work on my car's crashed. motivation to eat better's gone. Working out is a chore again.

I want the biggest bag right now. to escape.

miss having a favourite person, or at least a best friend who's keen to do things regularly. I dont want to be sad anymore, I never wanted to be sad. The feeling of being happy and then mood crashing so rapidly hurts, I should be happy but i'm not. always replaceable.

Was hoping venting on here where nobody see's it would be satisfying, but it's really not.

Fucks me up how I can't just vanish