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Likeable Spam

@canisjackal / canisjackal.tumblr.com

- 24 // FtM // Furry // They/him // ISTJ // Neurodivergent -
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vaor

things i wish i had known when i escaped my family household and couldn't ask my parents for help

  • invest in a good mattress early on. there are many other ends you can save on - sleep is not one of them. this is key to how much energy you'll have throughout the day
  • you don't need a bedframe but you do need a slatted bed base (even if it's just pallets)
  • opening a bank account is easy
  • there's youtube tutorials for everything. how to install your washing machine, how to use tools, fixing stuff around the place. channels like dad, how do i? are a godsend
  • change energy provider as soon as your old deal runs out. you'll get better offers elsewhere and avoid price gouging
  • assemble a basic first aid kid at home: painkillers, probiotics, alcohol wipes, bandages, tweezers, antihistamine tablets - anything you might need in a pinch
  • and an emergency toolkit: flashlight, extra batteries, a utility knife, an adjustable wrench, multi-tool, duct tape
  • set your fridge to the lowest temperature it can go. the energy consumption is minimal in difference and it'll give you +4/7 days on most foods
  • off-brand products are almost always the same in quality and taste, if not better, for half the price
  • coupons will save you a lot of money in the long run
  • there's no reason to be shy around employees at the bank/laundromat/store; most people will be happy to help
  • vegetarian diets are generally cheap if you make food from scratch
  • breakfast is as important as they say
  • keep track of your budget in a notebook or excel file - e.g. rent, phone and internet bills, food, leisure so you'll have an overlook on your spending over the months
  • don't gamble
  • piracy is okay
  • stealing from big stores and chains is also ethically okay
  • keep medical bills and pharmacy receipts for tax returns
  • also, file your tax returns early
  • take up a hobby that isn't in front of a screen. pottery, music, going for a run every now and then, stuff that'll keep you busy and sane
  • and most importantly... you're allowed to get the stuff you want. treat yourself to the occasional mundane thing. a good scented candle. a bath bomb. that body lotion that makes you feel like royalty. the good coffee beans.
  • you're free and you deserve to be happy.

similar boat, here's some additional things:

  • get out of the house for something that isn't work/school if you're able to. a walk, getting coffee, visiting a friend, whatever gets you some sunlight and your body moving.
  • there will be days where things are hard and you'll wonder if leaving was the right choice. it was. you will be ok
  • you might feel guilty for leaving, that's ok. you're doing what's best for you and anyone who advocates against that does not care about you in a way that matters.
  • do whatever it takes to drink enough water. brita? sink-attached water filter? big jug? bottled water? do whatever it takes to drink enough water, just recycle if you use bottled water (in some areas, people don't even have a choice, no shame here.)
  • its ok to use frozen pre-prepped fruits and veggies. seriously. most of the time they're cheap and just as good as the fresh stuff and won't spoil before you can use it all.
  • talk to people wherever you go. keep in touch with the people around you. community is indispensable and being nice to others will make them much more willing to help you when you need it. you don't need to be close friends with everyone, but most other people your age have an advantage that you don't: Parents who care and support you unconditionally, who will take care of you in a pinch. You will want to have connections outside the people closest to you in case shit hits the fan.
  • for the love of god, keep a plunger in each bathroom if your place has more than one bathroom. trust me.
  • most places for rent that have a 'no smoking' policy can only enforce that if you get caught lmao. weed smell is much easier to cover up than cigarette smell tho.
  • on that note, if you don't already smoke cigs, do not start. please.
  • remember that most of the bad things that happen in life are not your fault, it's likely that your parents blamed you for everything that went wrong or taught you to do so, and it's not true.
  • you will probably not get your security deposit back, even if you do everything right. i'm sorry. plan accordingly.
  • THRIFT EVERYTHING. need new plates, clothes, etc? check your local thrift store before anywhere else.
  • check craigslist, FB marketplace, nextdoor, garage sales, etc etc for things like furniture. there's almost always a good deal, often times you can get shit for absolutely free as long as you can take it home.
  • on that note, it's worth the gas to travel to a more upper-class neighborhood to thrift shop! rich people give and throw away shit that is in damn-near perfect condition all the time.
  • FOR POC: the stresses of racism will wear on you, allow yourself extra rest because you NEED it. white ppl have advantages you don't, do not compare yourself to them because it's not a fair comparison at all. for every step a white person takes, you run a mile. if you find yourself exhausted, wondering why you're working so hard and getting nowhere, remember that it is not your fault. allow yourself anger, sadness, grief, whatever you feel.
  • IF YOU GET INJURED AT WORK, FILE THE WORKMAN'S COMP PAPERWORK AND DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TRIES TO TELL YOU NOT TO. even if you think the injury is minor it might come back to bite you so please literally just do it.
  • it's literally ok and fine if your place is kinda messy. if you're in your 20s and stressing that your house does not look perfect, remember that no 20-something living on their own has ever not had the frat boy stage of house cleanliness. just try to not let the literal garbage pile up and you will be OK.
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Me: In November, either Trump or Biden will win. There is no third outcome, so we should vote accordingly for the option that will mitigate the most harm.

The people in my notes: Oh, so you think direct action is bad? You think voting is literally the only thing we can do? You hate activism? You love Biden and endorse everything he does and think nobody should criticize him ever? You think voting will just magically solve all our problems? You think protesting is wrong? You love the status quo and think everything is fine?

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i have a story to tell and it can only be told in greentext format

>be me

>13 years old in a psych ward for the first time

>my bathroom is shitty and small but the only place in my room where i have any privacy

>try to calm myself down post-anxiety attack by hiding in the bathroom

>curl up underneath the sink

>slowly calm down after anxiety attack

>remember that earlier i caught a glimpse of some scribbles and drawings underneath the sink

>wonder what it looks like

>turn around to see

>its “HoNk” “:0)” “hOnKhOnKhOnK” “mOtHeRfUcKeR” “:0) :0) :0)” written in purple crayola marker

>immediately go back into an anxiety attack

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asterkallium

piplup grain entrapment

piplup cares a lot about his work

piplup reports on the company's finances. layoffs are inevitable.

piplup takes a sick day

piplup considers some jorts

piplup forgives his father.

piplup goes grocery shopping

piplup jumps your battery

piplup lights the menorah

piplup sees the pale blue dot

piplup catsits

piplup hides a zombie bite from you

piplup studies plein air

piplup goes overboard at shopping therapy

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Attn: People With Cervixes!

When was your last Pap smear?

Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven't seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I'm making my own.

1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD

Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early--like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.

2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?

Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it's basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears--developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.

3. HOW DO PAP SMEARS SAVE YOUR LIFE?

A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!

4. WHAT ABOUT THAT VACCINE?

The thing my dad said I shouldn't get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It's recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it's now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.

5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN

Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!

6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?

Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you're 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).

7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE

Nice! You still need Pap smears.

8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I'M SCARED OF THE EXAM

Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.

9. BUT I DON'T HAVE/CAN'T SEE A GYN

Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!

10. BUT I'M A LESBIAN

HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.

11. BUT I'M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL

You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.

12. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER MAN

If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.

13. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN

Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.

14. BUT I'M A CIS-GENDERED MAN

Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.

In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.

DON'T FEAR THE SMEAR

it's cervical cancer awareness month y'all

Also, pap smears need to start at age 21 OR when you start being sexually active, whichever comes first.

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moonblossom

If you're like me and the pap smear causes you cramps and pain, take a back-related painkiller about 30 mins before your appointment! Methocarbamol, which is commercially available under names like Robax (or Robax-something) and marketed for back pain. It s available without a prescription - it's specifically targeted to help with muscle cramping and related pain. My doctor suggested I take one before every pap smear and they're significantly less unpleasant now! (also good if you're getting an IUD installed)

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vaspider

You can catch HPV through non-sexual contact and HPV is not the only cause of cervical cancer. Please go get a pap smear regardless of sexual activity.

(Yes, I saw several sets of tags asking if they need to get a pap smear if they're not sexually active. YES, YOU DO.)

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latinotiktok

Translation: Person behind camera; *knock down one card* “Go.” Other person;“Is your character mentally stable?” Person behind Camera; *Looks at card* “Yes” Other person; *Slaps down all but one card* “IT’S MOMO”

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sighinastorm

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS.  THERE WERE ONLY A FEW DOZEN NOTES WHEN I SAW IT LAST.

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Is it just me or are the new tumblr users convinced there's a penalty of some kind for using this site like it's meant to be used?

reblogs have always been in short supply for artists, sadly, but it's hitting the shitposts and even the cat pictures lately. Gotta keep getting the word out that reblogs are good and keep people posting new material that will be passed around for the next 12 years

They’re used to other social media sites, where the only equivalent of reblogging is straight-up content theft; so the idea that you can put someone else’s stuff on your page and have it not be a bad thing is a strange experience for them.

They’re likely also used to an algorithm recommending content based on what they hit “like” on, so they probably think that that’s how this works, too.

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brendering

A lot of the recent influx is from Twitter, and Twitter had a surprising amount of people who were insistent (but only in their bio, which no one is going to check) that people must engage with their content in special ways (ex: 'don't retweet!!', 'no qrts or you'll be blocked!!!', etc.). I think a lot of newer users are just traumatized from that haha

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the way that no one wears a mask at my local LGBTQ clinic, and in fact comments on my mask like it's just this hilarious little idiosyncrasy that I still wear one and not because I'm immunocompromised and we're in the middle of a pandemic ... as if there isn't an airborne virus that literally fucks up your immune system ... as if we didn't lose a generation of queer people to another virus that fucks up your immune system ...

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nnellowdrama

it's soo awful. seeing queer leftists just shrug off taking precautions in the wave of peer pressure.. does no one know their history??? we have to take care of each other. PLEASE mask up. there is new research saying that there are two phases of COVID- acute and chronic, and both can be either symptomatic or asymptomatic. it wreaks havoc on your T-cells. 60% of cases are asymptomatic. repeat infections do NOT give you immunity, in fact they make your risk of complications even higher. COVID gets in your lungs, your blood stream, your brain, everywhere. it can lie dormant for months. we still don't know the full "long-term" consequences of infections.

the government is leaving us in this mess. we have to take care of each other. as testing clinics get shut down and more people are forced back into danger, a good respirator is the easiest thing you can do to keep yourself safe. look for kn95 or n95 masks (respirators). these will keep you sooo much safer than a "baggy blue"!! if you need some immediately, check a walgreens for a pack of three 3m auras. otherwise, i highly suggest projectn95.org. they have some on sale right now.

this is a good resource that compiles a lot of available research in easy to to understand language. taking care of yourself, your communities, and resisting death in the face of government apathy is punk rock!!!

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Miss Piggy's Guide to Life Photos

I realized looking at these that I absolutely still relate to her as a person, not a puppet, and that is magical.

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mellomaia

In looking at these photos, I'm reminded that people routinely forget that Miss Piggy is not a real person when they interact with the puppet.

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kafus

how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible

SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!

like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG

raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!

i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN

ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen

PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…

PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.

to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL

then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao

as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.

now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL

anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.

however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…

PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.

to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.

i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!

and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!

however, there was still ONE more problem...

PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.

i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while

and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:

and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!

and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.

this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA

also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas

thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)

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