I'm not sure what I did wrong to make someone I thought was my best friend to ghost me.

I haven't checked this blog in a while because I was afraid to see her posting stuff when she clearly didn't have time to reply to my messages. I haven't heard from her in three years. And we've lived in separate states for 15 now.

It looks like she no longer follows me.

We've known each other since 2nd grade.

For some time before she finally stopped replying, she did take quite awhile to respond. But she was working two jobs, so I figured she was busy. I wasn't working at the time but I understood.

The last time I emailed her before she stabbed replying entirely, I think was in late 2017. I don't think I said anything offensive and if I did I'm sorry. I did tell something kind of personal that I was trying to work though. Maybe she couldn't accept it. I just wish she'd told me she didn't want to be friends anymore instead of ignoring me.

Is it because we don't like the same fandoms anymore? That can't be all a friendship is built on and if that's all we had, then I guess we're better off apart.

Is it because I posted on FB that I'm on the Ace spectrum? If that's the reason then I guess she wasn't a true friend. By the way, I saw on her blog, she watches Loki and I hear he's bisexual. So...?

Is it because she's Christian and I'm very much not? I thought we were overlooking that?

Whatever the case, I don't think I did anything wrong. I just wish she'd tell me what she thought I did or point blank told me she didn't want to be friends. I would have been hurt but I would have accepted because I am her friend.

I gave up trying to contact her last year after one last email, asking her these questions. No reply.

I should have realized sooner.

I'll unfollow her so I don't torture myself. I need to let her go. She needs to stop showing up in my dreams though.

The messed up thing is that if she were to contact me out of the blue, wanting to be friends again, I'd take her back.

I don't have any friends. I get along with co-workers but we don't hang out outside of work. I don't know how to be friends anymore or make friends. I have my mom and my two cats.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble.

-A

🎶I've got no friends to hold me down; to make fret or make frown. I had friends. But now you see, there are no friends with me!🎶

PSA: Not all telemarketers are evil!

Let me explain.

Last month, after a long time of searching, I finally got a job. Unfortunately, I was fired today for not meeting quota. I will explain that too.

The position was telemarketer for a tree care service, (pruning, trimming, removing and the like. Shrubs and hedges too) and the job was to cold call to make free estimate appointments for the arborists. Example: The arborist goes to your property, with you present, looks at the situation and gives you a price estimate. Note the work has to keep four to five guys busy for at least an hour. The quote is good for sixty days. If you decide to go through with it you schedule an appointment. Yes it's expensive but we have big ass trees here in the Pacific Northwest.

The phone numbers are not bought, they are gotten out of the phone book, the same one EVERYONE has access to.

so the company I worked for only serviced the other side of the state where weather permits year round work. Why the call center is here, don't ask me.

Now the quota. There are two ways to meet it. For the part time shift (Friday and Saturday 9-5:30), which I worked: Make seven leads (appointments) for the weekend or any leads you do set have to lead to sales adding  to $2,500). If you do not meet that for three weeks it is grounds for termination.

I wasn't surprised when my boss called today. I knew I wasn't doing well, try as I might. Cold calling is hard. I don't know how the telemarketers who've been there years do it. I guess they were calling the right neighborhoods. I certainly wasn't.

But back to my original point.

Not all telemarketers are out to scam you. Some are honestly trying to make a living, working for legitimate, rated by the BBB, businesses. 

I don't harbor ill will toward the company I worked for. They need to make money and I wasn't making money for them. I do however have some anger toward those that give telemarketers a bad name and everyone on the west coast of my state who wouldn't give me the time of day.

Here is a list of my experiences cold calling:

Nobody is apparently home or answers their cells on Fridays and Saturdays.

Answer and immediately hang up.

Say hello, then hang up before I could get through my greeting.

They don't let me finish the spiel.

"I don't need tree care" and hang up before I can explain we do more than trees.

Nomo robo or whatever it's called.

Jolly Roger. (Jolly Roger Telephone Company. Look it up)

Straight up blocks telemarketers.

no longer in service or disconnected.

but it's the people who just hung up on me without a word that really pissed me off. All because no one trusts telemarketers.

Anyway, I'm kind of relieved I got fired. I am not a salesperson. I need a job where I don't have to deal with the public.

What hospitals give their patients pants and t-shirts instead of those stupid gowns? 

Not any one I've seen in real life.

In season 1, Dean said "it's never gonna be over."

Was that foreshadowing?

are they gonna be playing those parts till they're old and grey?

till one of them drops because their pacemaker short circuited?

should that be the show's tagline? Supernatural: It's never gonna be over.

John Winchester uses parent logic in I-already-forget-the-episode-name-cos-champange-but-the-where-the-colt-is-introduced.

Sam:You can't treat us like children.

John: You are my children.

If I were to party like it's 1999, I'd have to party like a 12 year old because that's how old I was in 1999.

It's no wonder people think Sam and Dean are serial killers.

Richard Ramirez also lived out of scuzzy motels, stole cars and didn't really have a real job.

If Dean and Cas shared an ex-wife, who would she be?

asking for a plot bunny.

So did you all know that Ash (Chad Lindberg), of Supernatural was in Buffy season 1 ep. "I Robert, You Jane". He played Dave, a computer geek.

I don't remember if he lives or dies. But if he lives, headcanon, Ash's real name is Dave, former student of Sunnydale High.

But I think he just died. Damn.

Picture this:

Angel of season 1 Buffy and spn season 4 Cas are in the same room.

They have a conversation.

except they don't. They don't talk. At all.

they just stare. Silently. Broodily.

Buffy could so kick the Winchesters' asses.

and I would pay to see it.