I cant read whenever hot dad's come near me I think I have dilfsexia

Do you ever shut the fuck up

sorry

ripley's believe it or else

Can you imagine being the first guy listening to In The Air Tonight and not knowing those drums were coming?

we need to genetically modify strawberries to make them big as fuck like dog sized

“lives in my head rent-free” is such a strange expression. Does anything in your head actually pay rent?

the little mouse who lives in my frontal lobe is my only source of income