After second night seder

guys aren't comically getting their red heart covered boxers exposed after they get their pants pulled down anymore. Due to wokeness

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did

mfs will be like “I love the night :)” and then experience unliveable mental anguish the entire time

a chassidic tale- a young boy woke up every morning hours before he needed to be awake just to go into the woods before school. when he got home, his mother would ask him what he was doing awake so early again. he told her “i go into the woods to talk to Gd”, to which she replied “you don’t need to go to the woods for that. you know Gd is the same everywhere, right?” and the little boy said “i know. but i’m not.”

"you look tired" well the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease

ok what’s your florence + the machine song. mine is rabbit heart (raise it up)<3

the sandwich price to minimum wage ratio is getting so fucked up

this book is so clearly designed for people who have not experienced a decade plus of high dosage uninterrupted tumblr poisoning because to me this whole section reads somewhat like “enjoyers of food and beverages may be surprised to hear about ‘bread’ and ‘water’”

girls when they go through the most insane mental breakdowns every month and have to figure out whether it is the pms or the mental illness or the ovulation or the trauma or the weather or the loneliness or the 🫠🫠🫠

u know those mutuals who you are like silent buddies with and you never talk to each other but you reblog each others stuff and when you see them on you’re dash you’re like yooooo thats my bud!! 

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

literally one of my favorite tweets ever

Ideal work schedule: