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thecuntmagician reblogged

mikkeneko

meraarts

I’m bored and nosy. Please reblog this with the book you’re currently reading.

#Morphotropic by Greg Egan

thecuntmagician reblogged

talonabraxas

“Forbidden knowledge” Anthony Machuca

#art #trip

thecuntmagician reblogged

briarwickart

abstraction.entity [print]

#art #trip

thecuntmagician reblogged

sanctus-ingenium

hold on, you're slipping fast

#art #trip

thecuntmagician reblogged

compassionatereminders

"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?

"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?

"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?

"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?

"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?

"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?

Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!

snipertrifle

Having someone who knows you on such a deep level that they see past your mask, or sense you need a check in is such a deep satisfying fantasy. It's up there with living in a cottagecore farm, or buying all your friends houses when you win the lottery. But you have to make peace with the fact that this is also a fantasy. It is unfair to expect people to "just know" when to respect your boundaries or to push them.

Being cared for is not a fantasy. But you have to let people know you need it. And you have to understand that sometimes they will let you down. Just like you totally could live in a cute farm, but you still have to shovel shit, and the crops sometimes die anyway. Or maybe you win the lottery, but you still have to manage your money and learn real estate law.

The fantasy isn't the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work. And it sucks. It's embarrassing. But like the meme says, it's not rotten if it's YOU. So do it for yourself.

compassionatereminders

"The fantasy isn't the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work"! Thank you for that addition. Because it's not a naive expectation to want someone to care to treat you right. But it requires communication and mutual effort to actually get there

thatdiabolicalfeminist

I also really liked the comment about expecting people to know when to respect your boundaries and when to push them. I think this can account for more problems than people realize.

When people don't ask you about things you haven't brought up, they may sometimes be trying to respect what they interpret as your desire to not talk about that thing.

You haven't directly communicated about it, so all they have to work with is the fact you haven't brought it up.

And conversely, when people push on boundaries, there may be times when they're just trying to follow your lead on that as well.

If you haven't communicated directly about it, all they have to work with is how you respond when it happens.

Sometimes what feels like a lack of care is actually someone trying to care for you based on the incomplete information they have. Sometimes giving them better information is enough to dramatically improve the situation, because someone who wants to respect your boundaries can do a much better job when they have a more accurate idea of what those boundaries even are.

#as always #I love direct and clear communication #relationships