“It’s my fucking highway.” - Dr. Judy Melinek, Forensic pathologist

Hey you fucking bottoms

yeah? the hell you want?

Just… a bottom of my own 😔

find someone that knows how to calm your storms

the day that tumblr removed the ability to edit posts because Mr Tumblypoos complained about the taste of cock edit is the day this website took a permanent turn for the worst

wait, the what edit?

enjoy

gentle reminder that mother’s day is not for all moms. it’s for good moms. abusive and neglectful moms do not deserve to be celebrated on this day. and if you are the child of one of those moms, you should feel no guilt in ignoring the day altogether. I hope you can stay strong kiddos! ♡

anime roboticist: alright here’s your massive robot suit. you have to be in its core, and it mimics your movements 1:1 while you’re in it. also any damage the robot takes you also take in the same place

robot pilot: wouldn’t it make sense for me to control it remotely miles away

anime roboticist: yeah but. cmon

source

BIG MOOD

Smash or pass: the sexy tuna guy from the starkist cans

Fuck marry kill: green giant, sexy tuna, mr clean

You are NOT allowed to kill mr clean

This is obvious, kill the sexy tuna because that’s just weird, fuck Mr clean because he’s ripped and you know you won’t catch anything, now here you might think marry Mr clean because he’ll clean the house, but no, his cleanliness standards would be unbearable.

marry the green giant, making you basically a pagan god through marriage, and he can probably make vegetables grow using magic and as a vegan I need that, dick probably too big to do anything with but like, pagan marriages can be poly I think

I want you to know you are so powerful to be able to begin with “this is obvious”

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

https://twitter.com/smashmouth/status/992478669435060224?s=19

Love smash mouth

What’s going on this year

What is happening? 😂

WE EATING PUSSY IN 2018!!!!

my cat is licking himself loudly and wetly, somewhere in this pitch-black room, and it sounds like there’s an old man eating a bowl of chili in the dark with me

Big mood

I slept in and laughed way too much at this

THE NOISESSSSS LMFAOOOOOOOO

Paranoia Agent (2004) dir. Satoshi Kon

howdy