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Helplessly hoping

@ifihadanyheartleftidgiveittoyou / ifihadanyheartleftidgiveittoyou.tumblr.com

Alice. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. Things I dream of doing or happening
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vampiritea

A Hufflepuff that didn’t want to be sorted into Hufflepuff crying on their first night and then being joined by some older Hufflepuffs who bring hot chocolate and other food from the kitchen to make them feel better, then listening to why the 1st year is so upset, and sharing their own stories to make them feel included and at home.

A terrified first year being sorted into Slytherin and fearing having to write home and explain how they got put in the ‘bad’ house, then being joined by some older Slytherins who show them a part of the common room where you can look out into the lake and occasionally see some of the creatures that live in there - ‘was that the squid?!’ - and forgetting why they were afraid in the first place because these people are actually really nice.

support systems within the houses for 11 year olds who don’t understand why they were placed in a certain house!!!!!

A first year being sorted into Gryffindor and panicking because they really don’t think they’re brave because they’re afraid of so many things and they’ve got some strong irrational phobias. Older Gryffindors finding out that this one first year is seriously frightened and asking them about the different things they’re afraid of. When one particular fear that the first year has encountered quite a lot is mentioned, one of the older Gryffindors points out that they must be brave since they’ve faced their fear so often! They all then sit in a group in the common room, telling stories about when they were scared out of their wits and had to do something ‘brave’ even though at the time it didn’t feel brave, it just felt like survival.

A first year being sorted into Ravenclaw and, when reaching the Tower and discovering that they have to solve a riddle each time to gain access, almost having a meltdown because they already had serious doubts about being smart enough to be a Ravenclaw, and now they’re afraid of everyone finding out and laughing at them. An older Ravenclaw noticing the first year’s shallow breathing and quietly saying, ‘being clever isn’t what’s important, it’s the desire to learn. That’s why if you can’t work out the riddle, you wait for someone else who can work it out. So we can share the knowledge.’ The first year being a bit doubtful, but then watching in surprise as the Prefect at the front of the group goes, ‘huh, I actually have no clue on this one’ and turns around to everyone else to ask ‘anyone?’.

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They are seven and they are both lonely boys in big houses who run to the quidditch pitch and read library books.

They are ten, and one of them is happy and bright and holding his parents hands, tugging them along the busy street. The other is quiet, and he hides the bruises on his hands with long sleeves. He walks behind his parents and holds Regulus Black’s hand gently in his own. He doesn’t look up, and neither James Potter or Sirius Black will know they passed each other on the street. 

They are eleven and it is their first night in their dorm. James is giddy with thoughts of starting school, and his new, shiny life in this huge, brilliant castle. Sirius is giddy with freedom. His fingers shake and his smile is almost too big for his face. James falls asleep happy, he has made a friend in the funny boy who sleeps one bed over, and tomorrow he will get his class schedule. Sirius falls asleep crying. He has no one, he is eleven and floating, with no one to hold onto anymore. He knows home is no longer home. 

They are twelve and together, they make up half of the Marauders. They spend too many hours studying up on Animigi and not enough time on schoolwork. The rest of the boys fall asleep on books and crumpled paper, all of them piled on Pete’s bed. Sirius Black rubs his hurting eyes and scribbles notes, turning the pages of the heavy book. He does not sleep most nights. He prefers this, the quiet and the safety, surrounded by people who would never hurt him. He likes this, or at least, he likes it better than the nightmares. 

They are fifteen,  and they are handsome boys who laugh loudly and make ugly jokes. James Potter pretends he forgot about Lily Evans. Sirius Black pretends he does not have a family outside of the three boys who throw their arms over his shoulders and turn the Slytherin’s ties red and gold on Godric Gryffindor’s birthday.

They are sixteen and their is a war looming outside the gates of Hogwarts. They are still boys, but they put on a facade and pretend they are not, they talk about enlisting. Lily Evans makes Sirius Black quit smoking. Sirius Black lets Lily Evans cry while he holds her hands. James Potter steels himself to fight a war. Lily Evans has the fight in her veins. In blood. She can feel it boiling. Sirius Black gave up his family when he was eleven to adopt a new one. Sirius Black’s new family consisted of two blood traitors, a werewolf, and a Muggleborn. 

Sirius Black’s new family consisted of a shorter, blonde haired boy who laughed at horrible jokes, and a red haired girl who elbowed Sirius in the ribs and made terrible jokes to make Pete laugh. Sirius Black’s new family was a sarcastic, gentle, werewolf and a tall, lanky black haired boy with glasses. Sirius Black, at sixteen, was ready to fight for his family. 

They are seventeen and they graduate. Lily and James are holding hands in all the pictures taken that day. Sirius thinks that even of the rest of the world is falling apart, they are something beautiful. 

They are nineteen and living in Wizard London. They have joined the Order and are dizzy with idealism. They are going to change the world, those grinning boys with beautiful minds are going to take on evil and they are going to win. 

They are twenty and they have felt too much loss for people so young. Sirius thinks the whole world is falling apart. James thinks he has to fix the world, before he brings something new, and small and beautiful and perfect into it. 

They are twenty one, and there is no more They. James Potter, who was a funny little boy, and a lanky, goofy teenager. James, who was a courageous, ardent, man, is dead. Sirius Black, who was a silent, scared boy, and a clever, roguish teenager. Sirius, who was a headstrong, lionhearted man, is lost in grief without James Potter.

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my favorite thing i’ve ever realized about harry potter is that the gryffindor and slytherin tables are supposed to be on opposite ends of the great hall??? 

and therefore every time draco is making a scene at a meal (HEY POTTER HAVE YOU SEEN THE DAILY PROPHET??? HEY POTTER I’M MAKING STUPID FACES AT YOU BECAUSE THE DAILY PROPHET SAYS YOU’RE MAD!!! HEY POTTER I’M PRETENDING TO FAINT AT THE SIGHT OF A DEMENTOR LIKE YOU DID!!!!) he is making an extraordinary effort to be noticed across the entire hall

or harry is making an extraordinary effort to notice him

or both

in my mind it always escalates into them standing on the tables and shouting at each other over the entire school

EXCUSE ME POTTER EXCUSE ME HAVE YOU NOTICED ME YET

NO MALFOY I HAVE NOT NOTICED YOU I NEVER NOTICE YOU GOD THERE’S MALFOY AT THE SLYTHERIN TABLE DOING A THING AGAIN GOD FUCK MALFOY HE’S ALWAYS DOING THINGS WHERE I CAN SEE HIM…THROUGH…CROWDS OF STUDENTS SEATED AT 4 TABLES…I DON’T NOTICE MALFOY…HE’S LOOKING REALLY ILL LATELY IS HE OKAY DO YOU THINK

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do you think parabatai’s celebrate their anniversary? do you think that they get each other gifts with cards that say, “thanks for sharing your soul with me” or “without you I’d be dead”

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friendly reminder that richard campbell gansey iii is a teenager who is suffering the aftereffects of an extremely traumatic event (read: his actual death and resurrection), but he doesn’t think he has the right to lean on his best friends for emotional support because his family has a lot of money and so he’s “had it the easiest”

“In the end, he was nobody to Adam, he was nobody to Ronan. Adam spit his words back at him and Ronan squandered however many second chances he gave him. Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.”

“I am only my money. It is all anyone sees, even Adam.”

“You’ve had it the easiest. What good is all your privilege, you soft, spoiled thing, if you can’t stand on your own legs?”

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stavvers

I’ve just come to the realisation that Hermione Granger probably memory charmed her parents and packed them off to Australia long before she told Harry and Ron she’d done it at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

She literally never goes home from Goblet of Fire onwards, spending her summers with the boys instead. In GoF she’s remarkably blase about her teeth, something her dentist parents would have noticed and felt hurt about. 

If I were to guess, I’d say she probably did it after the wizarding world cup when she’d seen exactly how the wizarding world treats muggles and decided not to let that happen to her folks. Hermione knows which way the wind is blowing and gets in early. She’d be more than capable of doing it. 

…Oh my God.

hermione is fucking ruthless and i will fight anyone who tells me otherwise that was her “negative” gryffindor trait was she incredibly brave and courageous and loyal? yes but she was also vicious and violent and trapped a woman as a beetle in a jar for over a year because she pissed her off

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Books don’t necessarily cure sadness but they are dependable and consoling. They don’t zap away the problems in your life but they take you into another world where your problems become so much lighter. I really think I’d go mad without books.

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headcanon that since the slytherin common room is under the lake there’s a room where the walls and ceiling are glass and you can just see into the lake like an aquarium

headcanon that when this was first done the mermaids got really aggressive and hateful about it and started ramming the glass but since it was magic this just caused them injuries

until a deaf/hoh slytherin started to teach them sign language and it took a long time bit by the time they left hogwarts they and the rest of the house were communicating with the mermaids and on good terms

eventually it becomes a part of slytherin house culture you’re a slytherin you know sign language because if you don’t chat with the mermaids they get grumpy

this helps a lot of deaf/hoh students

this also gives slytherin the best grades of any house on all aquatic magical studies

the mermaids give terrible dating advice do not trust them

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