jesse we have to become tumblr bots to throw off the DEA jesse

jesse we need to cock

ay yo mr white i know its a tough subject but ur at that age where regular prostate screening is recommended so i looked into some resources and got u this brochure

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

hey um im rly sorry but i saved ur boyfriend in the wrong format and now his save file is corrupted. so he’s evil and weird now. sorry

Like to charge reblog to cast

Twitter: currently literally burning to the ground

Tumblr: currently collectively hallucinating a 1970s mafia film with heavy homoerotic undertones

Listen I will fully admit I love to be a hater BUT i also love to be an enthusiast. I love to have strong opinions actually both in saying something sucks and in something rules AND in something does both simultaneously.

hot adhd tip: if you are being productive and shit and you want to continue being productive DO NOT SIT DOWN. "oh im gonna take a five minute break and get back to it-" no you wont king. you will automatically lose all motivation the second you sit down.

Truth in satire.

im not mentally ill i just need to catch whoever the fuck keeps putting dirty dishes in my sink and kill them. and then ill get to function normally

alice i have bad news :(

hey whats up

BONE DEMON ATTACK!

sending out my burger of killing and violence to all my haters. good luck

for the love of god please listen to old users when we say this site works differently. that you can’t just sit around with a blank blog. make posts or reblog, but do something at least. this site works because we don’t have an unavoidable garbage algorithm forcefeeding us posts based on our likes. we do not need another fucking twitter, tiktok or instagram.

liking a post is literally useless here. we don’t have an algorithm. we see posts when people reblog them onto our dashes, they show up in a tag we’re following/searching, or they end up chucked into our recommended page (very inaccurate, basically just popular posts that may be vaguely related to your interests sometimes). liking doesn’t do anything. it’s just a button that’s there to show, hey, i saw this post. or you’re saving it for later

this is (partially) why art blogs are dying. if you don’t actually reblog the art posts you enjoy, they won’t reach anyone and just...stay there with a few likes.

People with siblings are so genuinely scary they're just constantly asking you things like "you never played 3-Minute Eye Gouge as a kid? you never played Fireplace Chase? you never played Actual Serial Killer?"

i’m crying laughing at this

sleeping when it's cold: deepest peace imaginable, opportunity to bury yourself in blankets and indulge in the ancient mammalian instinct to curl up and sleep somewhere warm and dark and enclosed, instant and dreamless rest

sleeping when it's even slightly warm: torturous, only options are kicking off blankets and feeling horribly exposed or laying in your own sweat, impossible to get comfortable, exhausting and demoralizing sisyphean task

rose of versailles, 1973

The furry commission.

(long gif!)

knights of the round table

men at a sports bar when the big game is on