Me: "Hey yeah, so I invited another high school friend over because they wanted to sell me on another pyramid scheme, so I spiked their coffee with like 40 tabs of acid and chased them around the house while singing that I was the devil and that the nightmare would never end."

Priest giving confessional: "Okay we don't normally tell people this, but that's actually a secret way to get into heaven."

I think this picture of my gf helping fix my car should be in the MoMa

The future sucks for the most part.

However, I just spent 5 bucks to release a popcorn treat through the live chat for a whole flock of chickens on the other side of the world in a different hemisphere, and I got to watch them enjoy it live.

And how wonderful is that?

PSA as we go into spooky season and people start using activated charcoal to make foods look spooky.

it bugs me how many lesbians have issues with trans women. like, we're supposed to love women. what's next, you gonna start hating short people too? fuck off.

AND TRANS GUYS. "ooohhhhh they're betraying womanhood" no, they're men. jfc not everything is a personal attack some people are just guys.

people’s favorite the untamed scenes  —  for @warmday

@firemasterzuko

the feminine urge to stab <3

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

There’s no way you’re prepared to hear the name

i just realized how absolutely earth shatteringly horny the internet at large would be for darth vader if the original trilogy came out right now

my god, every facet of his character, the mask, he’s tall, he chokes people, he’s evil, good god it would be apocalyptic, this website would be fucking unusable

people are horny for kylo ren and he’s just an intentionally infinitely shittier version of darth vader who sucks fucking shit comparatively just imagine

so imagine Star Wars comes out now, everybody’s obviously drawing their fanon interpretation of Vader as hot brooding anime men so they can ship him with whomever of luke/leia/han they find personally most attractive. Empire comes around, darth is luke’s ****** (message me for spoilers!), everyone purges their Luke/Vader art and starts drawing him as a hot dad, slicked back salt-n-pepper hair and a chiseled jaw and shit

then Jedi comes out and

someone just actually messaged me for spoilers

My mom said cat boy rights

your mom is a true ally

M4CB (Moms For Catboys)

@sabertoothwalrus

i asked my mom as well

feminism

in all seriousness it's very alienating knowing theres Something Wrong With You. like seeing your mental illness come through in your behaviour and thought processes and knowing it's irrational and unhealthy, knowing other people are reading you as weird or stupid, and not being able to do anything about it is such a lonely experience