Hah. Just pulled a fast one on Hades. He’s going to let us both go. All we have to do is walk one after the other and I don’t have to look back. This is going to be SO easy.

Is she still there?

Of course she’s still there! Why wouldn’t she be? In fact, I’m pretty sure I can hear her still walking behind me! Then again, maybe that’s the sound of my own footsteps…

i know everyone (including me) loves the teatro comunale di bologna posters but i feel like we need to talk about the don giovanni one. they understand the assignment, which is 'this guy has to look like a trust fund grade-A SHITHEAD'. truly incredible

Unfortunately this post has breached opera containment and now i am seeing people claiming “This guy fucks”. Unaware of the horrors :(

(art by @theshitpostcalligrapher)

I'm a Southern Californian (you know the whipping boy/poster child held up as the pinnacle of American consumerism and overdevelopment and car focused life) and THAT there IS HORRIFYING.

I am an american and what the FUCK did I just look at houston???

Welp. Things get weird with the anesthesia department from time to time. Today a patient, left unsupervised for 5 whole minutes in her room at the surgical ward, chewed her central line out...

I clearly follow too many vet med blogs, because I'm pretty sure something trying to chew out a line is pretty damn common...and I was wondering where the twist was.

Yup. The twist is that we are a human hospital.

Acab because the people that made this meme thinks the cops should just kill someone like this

Cops having a chuckle because they’re too cowardly to take a beating in order to save a life. All cops are cowards.

this is how I imagine having a werewolf boyfriend looks like

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

Fun Fact!

Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

Hey its been at least 9 years anything changed?

nope! all quiet on the linguistic front. i am a girl now though

modern day who’s on second

“me saw who! me saw who!!!”

I cannot stop watching this video. It’s fucking hilarious and I’ve watching it’s approximately 20 times already

As an omnivore who likes vegan and vegetarian cooking I think the mistake a lot of people make when trying to convince meat eaters to go plant based is trying to convince them that something you’ve got will replace meat for them.

I like vegan nuggets and real chicken nuggets for different reasons. They taste different. They only taste identical to you because you haven’t eaten meat for five years.

When cooking for myself I only eat meat maybe like three times a week because vegetarian cooking is often cheaper and it tastes good.

Like just give people the actual recipes you use that aren’t pasta. Every time you ask what to eat on a meatless day people are like. Pasta. I don’t want pasta every day.

Point out the foods people already eat that are vegetarian. Like sweet potato fries, veggie chow mein, grilled mushrooms, mashed potatoes, black bean enchiladas, peanut butter sandwiches. Tell people what you microwave when you’re drunk at 3am. Show people that vegetables are so good they’ll want them in their diet.

Also some people are just never gonna go vegan. They’re just not. I’m certainly not, and I love vegan food. But since I’ve fallen in love with vegetarian cooking I eat meat much less and I’m much more careful about picking the meat I do eat. Doesn’t that align with a lot of your goals?

Impossible burger doesn’t taste like meat. But you know what tastes really good? A mushroom fajita taco. Falafel. Potato pancakes with applesauce. Smoky vegan collared greens. Hot potato salad with herbs. Palak paneer with rice. Tofu Pad Thai with extra peanuts. Some of my favorite foods of all time, and I’m a dirty rotten meat eater. Use THAT to get your foot in the door. And be more accepting of some half-assed victories. I’m on your side for the most part, believe it or not. But stop trying to claim certain things are just like meat. You and I both know you don’t plan most of your weeknight dinners around meat substitutes.

notice how everyone is horny today

The landlord fears the urban oyster mushroom farmer

I have seen this on every social media site and folks- if your home is damp enough to get full fruity flushes of oyster mushrooms (from stray spores from a grow bag batch), they are the LEAST of your worries. You know what doesn’t produce highly visible fruiting bodies? Most molds. And wood rot. Go ahead and grow them indoors, because they’re a canary in the coal mine if they start fruiting anywhere.

^ the above reblog right here!!! People in the notes saying "don't do this!!!" Are missing the part where people are not deliberately growing Oyster Mushrooms all over their apartment, but that the stray spores from Mushroom Growing Kits are revealing systemic dampness problems that Landlords cannot dismiss and forces them to take action.

One of the best stories humanity ever produced was a draft of a rewrite of the Epic of Gilgamesh written by a Ecuadorian poet in 1935. It was tossed into a fireplace by an angry boy and lost forever. Another of humanity's best was told 65,000 years ago and was overheard by a small tribe of embarked Neanderthals boating down a river in what is now northern Georgia. A short woman at the bank scrubbed a wooden idol in the water and sang an ancient tale in an unknown language. These two are eclipsed by everything produced by two brothers at the coast of what is now Cameroon between 503 BC and 490 BC, which they shared with some family and friends, and were beloved by everyone except a sour uncle.

My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

Another classic is

“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”

For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search

Sorry for the double reblog I just wanted to let everyone know that I told the first joke to my dad and he hung up on me.

Star Wars Limbs Removed | by Inverse