Gnoman conquest

Rae Klein, my newest discovery and inspiration

kinda miss sitting in restaurants with my friends loudly having what is clearly the weirdest conversation the couple two tables over has heard all week and pretending not to notice them chuckle at my jokes but making sure to throw in enough exposition to give them context if they’re still listening

“why the hell is this one getting so many notes” i think, briefly, before realizing we’re three years into The Great Loneliness and i have just wistfulposted on yearning dot com

Rae Klein, my newest discovery and inspiration

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that’s his name

THEN YOU SHOW THEM BITTY

Chaotic Good brother.

King

Huge Flex on New Yorkers, old people, and Islanders everywhere

January was a tough year but we made it

ATLA where everything is the same but Aang’s an adult.

Katara (still 14, no Kataang obviously) and Sokka (still 15) find this adult in the iceberg who initially seems like a very powerful godlike figure but ultimately turns out to be this hyperactive soul with the powers of a god. They realize that they need to accompany him to help him on his journey but there’s the additional factor of him looking after them because they’re teenagers and he’s supposed to be the responsible adult.

That said:

“Sokka, Katara, wake up! You two are about to witness one of the greatest airbending techniques that has ever been created!”

The whole show develops a Doctor Who feel with this god-in-an-adult-body putting himself on the line to defend humanity one moment before tripping over a fez display the next.

The first time Katara and Sokka are in danger, they look up in awe and see:

And then the very next scene has this:

“Welcome to Kyoshi Island! Incidentally, one of my regenerations was called Kyoshi, probably not related, come on over here, come on, check this out, these koi fish are some of the largest fish in the world, known to be very docile creatures but they have the tendency to emit poisonous stingers if they’re touched and I—” *Puts hands on hips* “—I’m gonna ride one.”

“…What?”

“Gonna ride one!”

There’s that whole Ice Age 2 subplot where Sokka and Katara have to find Aang a suitable wife so that he can help repopulate the airbenders. 40-something-year-old Aang sits down and listens to 15 year old Sokka give him a speech on how to woo women. He takes notes. There’s a running gag where Sokka and Katara just keep picking horrible candidates.

*Being reluctantly pushed towards that old woman from The Blue Spirit* “Uh, guys, I’m not—”

“Look, man, do you want to save the airbenders or not?”

“Come on, Aang, she has a cat, you like cats.”

Zuko’s still a 16 year old kid who like comes up to Aang’s chest and constantly challenges him to Agni Kais for the sake of honor and Aang’s just like:

Toph’s still a 12 year old blind girl who kicks Aang’s ass.

By the time Book Three comes along, Aang’s storming into Ozai’s palace holding a baby chain with like twenty adopted kids.

There’s potential here.

I’m in but also genuinely intrigued by your explanations for the “100years in an ice ball under the sea” and why Aang didn’t kick Sozin’s ass before that

Hmmm…

The comet comes around 100 years ago when Aang’s in his early 40s. Aang spent his entire life travelling the world (hence why he knows more about it in this AU and is able to communicate more to Sokka/Katara/the audience). Over the past 40 years, Sozin has slowly tried to rise to power. It’s revealed that Aang did try to liberate towns/prisons but when the day came for him to kill Sozin (assuming Sozin came to the Southern Air Temple during the raid), Aang had a huge crisis of moral integrity, ultimately flew away with the intention of finding a different solution, got caught up in the storm, and the rest is history.

Additional ideas for this AU include:

- Flashbacks to how Gyatso treated/raised Aang in perfect parallel to scenes where Aang does the same actions to Katara/Sokka.

- Aang telling Katara/Sokka/Toph/Zuko/etc. to go to bed and them grumbling while he smirks only for Iroh to pop up and tell Aang to go to bed.

- Aang already being able to control the elements when he pops out of the iceberg due to his age, but being rusty from the spiritual drain that staying alive took out of him, hence the need to retrain with masters around the world.

- Aang absolutely turning to teenagers and a blind child to retrain him because who else is he going to turn to? Other adults? Sounds too complicated.

- Aang still burning Katara and feeling complete anguish over it.

- Sokka tackling a 40 year old airbender to the ground. Successfully.

- Adult Aang taking on that volcano, the fish spirit, the Appa thieves, etc.

- “ISITWORKINGISITWORKINGSOMEONETELLMEIFI’MINTHEAVATARSTATAMITALKINGTOOLOUD?” - 40 year old Aang screams after drinking coffee

- 40 year old Aang penguin sledding

- That whole episode with Bato would be more emotional, just imagine if Aang was trying to keep Sokka and Katara from their father because he felt like he was already doing a pretty good job and didn’t want to lose them.

- Maybe another change where Ursa is alive and becomes Aang’s love interest (an antithesis of her time with Ozai) so that he becomes Zuko’s stepfather.

- 40 YEAR OLD AANG PENGUIN SLEDDING

Op how the fuck can you drop “Aang/Ursa he becomes Zuko’s stepdad” casually as an afterthought COME ON

First words?

Of all the things this trashfire of an administration produced, the Monica Lewinsky Renaissance was admittedly one I did not expect, but I am HERE FOR IT.

smh + their twitters: their profiles, real missing [insert name here] hours, bitty committing bottom on bottom crime, shitty scaring the hoes, & will’s daily “oomf” tweet

bonus:

bitty’s latest video is titled “me and lardo try to pay attention for more than 25 seconds challenge (FAIL)” it’s 32 mins long and it’s literally just him and lardo not being able to focus on a topic for more than like a minute and a half

#lardo rolling a blunt in the middle of the video: i feel like i really don’t have the braincells to spare for this but like whatever #bitty @ min 31: I HAVE A PAPER DUE IN LIKE TWENTY MINUTES

remember when avatar: the last airbender aired on nick and set the bar so high for cartoons that nothing could ever really top it

I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more

Katara: wow so this is Omashu

Aang: back in my day it was called weed city

Sokka: I’m… pretty sure it wasn’t

Aang: that’s what the fire nation wants you to think

Bumi, the second they arrive: welcome to weed city

Sokka: what the fuck

bitty: who cares? not me lol

also bitty:

I will not be accepting any criticism

MARINA i HATE THIS

I would say I’m sorry but I am not

I do regret not putting in an image description though so I will do that now

[Image ID: A chart, featuring members of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team from the webcomic Check, Please!. The first row, labelled “Dresses on theme for Met Gala” includes from left to right Adam “Holster” Birkholtz, Justin “Ransom” Oluransi, Derek “Nursey” Nurse, Larissa “Lardo” Duan, and Denice “Foxtrot” Ford. The next row down, labelled “Tries but doesn’t get it quite right” includes Shitty Knight and Chris “Chowder” Chow. The third row is labelled “Ignores the theme completely” and includes from left to right Eric “Bitty” Bittle, William “Dex” Poindexter, and Connor “Whiskey” Whisk. The final row is labelled “Accidentally dresses on theme” and has Tony “Tango” Tangredi and Jack Zimmermann. End image ID.]