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This is how it ends.

@parachutesareoptional-blog / parachutesareoptional-blog.tumblr.com

For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in, follow orders, serve. It's just not the same. {Independent MCU-based Steve Rogers RP blog. Selectively multifandom and comics-verse friendly. Post-TWS friendly. Not a spoiler-free blog. Mun/muse 21+ Read pages.} | var ref = (''+document.referrer+''); var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; document.write('<script src="http://s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site=ID4122697&e1=&e2=&r=' + ref + '&wh=' + w_h + '"><\/script>');
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the soldier and the spy | parachutesareoptional

"Following me? But I’ve been looking for him… everywhere,” Steve admitted. He exhaled heavily and nodded for Natasha to follow him, to head back to the bike. Suddenly he needed to move.

"… Can I ask you a personal question, then?" he got up the nerve to ask with a few breaths of fresher air.

"Yes, following you." Funny, how that surprised him even now. "You were his best friend, Steve, he has to associate you with safety and kindness. Either that, or he’s watching out for you."

His second question made her pause, leaning against the motorcycle. “You can, but I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

"You said you knew him. Does that mean you... know... something like what he's going through?" Steve asked, standing up straight and watching Natasha's eyes closely. He spoke as respectfully as he could. He knew he was calling in a favor on their friendship--he thought he could call it that without any doubt now--just by asking if it was as bad as he thought it might have been.

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T h e r e   a re   d a y s   w h e n   y o u         Indie, semi-selective
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◤ independent, semi-selective rp account extensive writing experience (10 years) 5+ RP / 3+ tumblr RP experience multiple format - para preferred mun/muse 21+ this format is about as fancy as i get textually multiverse, multiship, case by case multifandominterested in plotting; varied and complex relationships friendly mun, skype available to mutuals

{ R e a d   F i r s t }  |||  { M e s s a g e }  |||  { B i o } { D o s s i e r }  |||  { V e r s e s }

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the soldier and the spy | parachutesareoptional

"I was hoping maybe you’d… come to tell me," Steve said, recalling with something approaching faltering the way she’d told him that she’d known Bucky. But that hadn’t been the first thought that came to mind to prompt him saying it. She had resources, connections, and she’d cared enough to find him. He couldn’t help what he’d hoped. He glanced around when he stepped out of the safe house, breathing fresher air.

She shrugged, locking the door behind them. “I only pretend to know everything, Rogers. Remember?” 

Natasha had a vague sense of where he was. She knew he was close, at least, because in that brainwashed state it would make sense that he’d cling to whatever he could remember, whatever seemed safe. She’d done the same with Clint, years and years ago, running to him when the Red Room had played with her mind.

"i think he’s been following you," she admitted. "For a long time now."

"Following me? But I've been looking for him... everywhere," Steve admitted. He exhaled heavily and nodded for Natasha to follow him, to head back to the bike. Suddenly he needed to move.

"... Can I ask you a personal question, then?" he got up the nerve to ask with a few breaths of fresher air.

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I am around. I've had a really hard day and I'm trying to refocus my mind. I'm sorry I suck at being around on Steve. I feel that it's hard to be as active as I'd like on someone who is so much like my own headspace sometimes. But I'm here and if we have a thread you want to continue please let me know. I'm also thinking about making another RP account to just see if the alternation would help since I'm so lazy here. If i do I will let you guys know. I have one or two ideas niggling. But I like it here too I'm not leaving (inasmuch as I'm here in the first place).

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"… What were you going to say?" Steve finally got the nerve to ask. He waited for a moment, ready to just let Dr. Simmons have the floor before he remembered something else.

"I don’t mean any disrespect to you," he said as earnestly as he could. Then he reached out and took a small sip of the orange juice for lack of any other way to show trust.

Keeping her eyes on her knees, Jemma swallowed and shook her head. “If you think that we would recruit new agents through coercion, or by intimidation, or fear; if you think that SHIELD could possibly hope to rebuild itself that way when we now have to rely solely on trust and loyalty, or if we ever ought to try that with HYDRA still—I had a lot of things running through my head when I started that sentence!” she finally stopped herself shortly, irritated with herself. She felt tired and slow. Rebuilding an organization from the foundations up wasn’t a picnic.

She dropped her head into her hands and sighed gustily, then briefly kneaded fingertips into the hollows of her eyes before picking herself up again. “It doesn’t matter,” she dismissed, lying through her teeth. She’d been getting better at it; Skye was coaching her. “I’m just getting tetchy. These aren’t the best or most sterile working conditions and the flickering lights make my head hurt; I’ve been short with everyone.”

"I... feel like I might have stepped on your toes," Steve said, not sure where the impulse toward that metaphor had come from. it came abruptly and without warning and hurt, giving him enough pause that for a moment he held his breath. When he let it go and caught another, he glanced down at his orange juice and drank the rest of it for good measure.

"... I never really learned," he added, approaching her and deciding to take a seat beside her, hoping he wasn't too close.

"It's, uh... I don't know... what you believe in. That brings you here. But I know what's happened can't be easy for anyone. I might've said that already, but it's just... for me... the thought of trying again after such a long time. It's not you I'm... concerned about, but I feel like I've... got to talk to your Director Coulson--for my own peace of mind. But you, Dr. Simmons, I... get the sense that you're bearing up under a lot."

He wasn't great at talking about how he felt either. He knew it could be dangerous. But he'd hurt her or at least reopened something that stung. He had to try to ask.

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Refrigerator Light | dancingagent

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dancingagent

"Water," she affirmed. These steps, although small, were something she could process without straining her already fragile mental process.

"Please," she added on after recognizing the lack of politeness. A few moments later, she realized that she would have to let him go. That thought scared her, but she fought through the creeping sensation in her stomach to crawl out of his arms and back into the chair across from him.

Small steps. Small steps.

"No problem at all, Peggy," Steve said warmly. The sentence felt a bit overcomplicated for what he needed to convey, but he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. he wanted to believe in her because she'd believed in him.

He reached up and found the glass of water he'd made for her before he'd regained his full posture. Then he took the seat he'd had previously and scooted forward again, carefully holding the cool glass up and tilting it slightly to help Peggy along but allow her to choose the pace to take a drink. It was perhaps as close as they'd be getting to learning the steps of a dance for a while.

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"Sorry, I—" Steve said, seeing that a smile wasn’t enough to cover some things. Not that he didn’t know that. "…Sorry," he repeated, stopping near the counter and glancing down at the glass. He swallowed hard and felt his throat go a little dry. He was tempted to reach for it but wasn’t sure the action was welcome any longer. He made a half-gesture which might have been reaching for it but instead it was a vague one meant to indicate his own confused ambivalence.

"… I can go, if you want," he offered quickly. "Or I could… offer you an explanation about why it’s hard… to accept what’s going on here. Tell you a story. But I know that… might not be what you want."

He glanced down at the floor then back high enough to meet her eyes.

"Do you want—?" he asked. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to trust her.

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Jemma pushed the glass of orange juice across the coffee table toward Captain Rogers. Perhaps with a little more force than necessary, but still a clear indication to sit down.

"I do not want you to leave," she said slowly, making sure to measure her words with caution. "However, that doesn’t mean you have to tell me anything you don’t care to divulge. I’m not going to start making demands. That’s not how New SHIELD operates, and if you think—"

Jemma shook her head and forced a smile. “Just make yourself comfortable, and we’ll wait together until Director Coulson arrives.”

"... What were you going to say?" Steve finally got the nerve to ask. He waited for a moment, ready to just let Dr. Simmons have the floor before he remembered something else.

"I don't mean any disrespect to you," he said as earnestly as he could. Then he reached out and took a small sip of the orange juice for lack of any other way to show trust.

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the soldier and the spy | parachutesareoptional

Steve smiled wryly and took a step back when he realized he wouldn’t need to be doing any heavy lifting. He lifted his hands in a gesture or something like surrender and then shrugged it off.

"Only you’d think that was simpler," he commented, teasing a little. His eyebrows lifted but not by much—he was testing his luck a little but just as a way of passing the time.

She shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know - ask Barton some time, that’s how he gets in everywhere.”

She cast a glance around the tiny apartment one last time, deciding to leave the larger weapons where they were, since Steve’s landlord was bound to disapprove. 

"That’s it," Natasha said. "I’ve got everything. So, do we…?"

She wanted to ask what was next. Were they just supposed to go out and hoep to run across Bucky somehow? She wasn’t sure how he looked for people. She took a stealthier approach, surely, but this was one time where she didn’t know where to start.

"I was hoping maybe you'd... come to tell me," Steve said, recalling with something approaching faltering the way she'd told him that she'd known Bucky. But that hadn't been the first thought that came to mind to prompt him saying it. She had resources, connections, and she'd cared enough to find him. He couldn't help what he'd hoped. He glanced around when he stepped out of the safe house, breathing fresher air.

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whose building did we crush? | solvingthxpuzzle

Steve had slept through a war. More than one war, as it'd happened. The wars had become smaller again, the way they'd been before he had been born. But some of them hadn't been. The quiet, looming struggle that had given birth to the yellowed folder Natasha had given him in a graveyard seemed even bigger than HYDRA had touched the world, though. Leaving scars like the facility he walked through.

Underground and meant for something else--a missile silo, once--it had been given new purpose many times. Quietly, always. Secretly, always. Few seemed allowed to question and those who were maybe weren't inclined to. There were always people who didn't push for the truth as long as they were safe.

The silence underground seemed to echo with an unnatural hum in his ears. He'd lost contact with Sam (where he'd made him wait, insisted that he wait, had to trust that he'd wait) a while ago. He wondered if it was just the weight of earth above his head or if it was a deliberate jamming of the signal. He didn't have the time to worry about finding out.

There were employees still working in the place. They were few and far between, not even reaching the capacity that he would have guessed someplace like this would have. Maybe it was all in the computers now. But there were a few, and he held his breath as he avoided them. They seemed like locals, and he was here for information--not to win a battle or a war. Going back in time to move forward, and it was a difficult enough balancing act in his head lately--even without distractions.

He had gotten pretty good at sneaking around places that felt old even though they were younger than him. He thought he'd collected some of Natasha's skill without even noticing, but he was still a soldier, not a spy. Sam had said that, and it came back to mind as the thing to blame when something went wrong.

He stepped through a door, a computerized lock fried by a device he had with him that he didn't fully understand. He didn't have to. The door hissed at him to let him know he was entering an environment that had been meant to be sealed off from the outside world even underneath it. There was an aqua, offensively bright blue lighting that ran up and down a narrow hallway that led to another door. It was cold in the passageway and it was flanked on both sides with a dozen rounded doors that reminded him very sharply of the thing he'd come out of a different man. He wondered if they were the kind of things that changed a person--person-sized capsules and cold, seeming all too much like they had a point.

Looking left and right, walking slowly, they seemed empty.

He had come nearly to the exit, was ready to look through the little slit of a window, when something changed. He paused, and he saw something a little different, a little less pristine about one in particular. He paused to investigate, and then--he reached out, and there was a space of time that passed. It was short, but he didn't know if his hand had ever reached the sleek silver handle before the world began to shake.

For a moment, he glanced up. He thought about staying still.

But he was underground--buried if this went wrong. It occurred to him--all at once--reasons he had to get out of here. Things he still had to do. A person he still had to save. People he'd like to explain this to.

Unhappy with the reality that he had to try to run away, he went for it--forcing the nearer door with gritted-teeth strain. He stumbled through to the other side, cushioning his tumble into a bank of newer screens and equipment with his shield. Some of them flickered and died. He saw a couple of the people making their way out as the shaking settled for a moment and the lighting began to take on a red hue everywhere--even within the blue passageway he'd come from. The red lights didn't completely overpower the ordinary ones, but they rotated and insisted, accompanied with an intermittent siren that seemed strangely calm.

He took his chances, making for the end of the (office?) that seemed nearest the escape route. He got his bearings. He was out in a hallway, gloved hand holding onto a door frame. He glanced back over his shoulder. A lot of things were starting to seem more and more quiet.

Was he alone down here? Did he have time?

Then, he saw someone move as there was another violent shaking of the whole facility. And he remembered its history--missile silo. He wondered. He didn't have time. There was a very loud sound and he didn't have time, so he chased after even the ghost of a silhouette. He had to, really.

They didn't have time either, and as he caught up with them--with her, he identified--a good number of the not-red lights flickered and stayed out for a moment.

"Come on!" he ordered, as if he belonged there. As if he were bringing her to safety. The back of his mind decided that maybe she could answer some questions. If she spoke English or French. Maybe. First, though, he wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and ushered her toward the only way back up to the surface. Another rattle and some of the lights came back on, for now.

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I just changed the line-height on my posts in the code of my theme and wish I had done this ages ago. No disrespect to the theme-maker but it was my one complaint about it as an RP blog theme and wow it's so much better now.

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w i s h l i s t; i am bad at this kind of thing, but i would really like to have some more extensive plots. i want something dark and trying for steve (though i'm a sucker for silver linings). also, i am open to plotting with any of my new (or old) followers!

but specifically, i really want steve to meet skye. i'm just really into the fact that she mentions him a lot, like she seems to be aware of his existence in a way that crosses her mind some? and i just keep compare/contrasting their different kinds of bravery that seem so overlapping but different. i don't have a relationship parameter in mind--not looking for an instaship. i just really want steve to meet skye and get to know her and do some kind of plot (even simple) with her. any and all agents of shield and mcu characters welcome, but specifically wondering if there's a skye who'd like to plot?

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"Whatever you’ve got’s fine, Doctor. Just… ‘long as a drink’s all I’m signing up for," Steve said gently—with a smile because he wanted her to know that if he had a little bit of a problem with this, this place, this plan whatever it was, it wasn’t with her. He wasn’t even sure it was with Coulson. Coulson, who was alive. He shrugged a little then paced a bit, exploring the little space just so he wouldn’t be staring and making her nervous. 

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Jemma’s smile faded, stunned and slightly hurt. “What else would you be signing on for?” she asked. “Do you think we’re recruiting you, Captain? Because you’re the one who showed up asking questions.”

She put a glass of orange juice on the coffee table with a sharp click. “However, if you’d like to leave, you’re more than welcome to leave a calling card, and I’ll send Director Coulson your way once he returns.”

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"Sorry, I--" Steve said, seeing that a smile wasn't enough to cover some things. Not that he didn't know that. "...Sorry," he repeated, stopping near the counter and glancing down at the glass. He swallowed hard and felt his throat go a little dry. He was tempted to reach for it but wasn't sure the action was welcome any longer. He made a half-gesture which might have been reaching for it but instead it was a vague one meant to indicate his own confused ambivalence.

"... I can go, if you want," he offered quickly. "Or I could... offer you an explanation about why it's hard... to accept what's going on here. Tell you a story. But I know that... might not be what you want."

He glanced down at the floor then back high enough to meet her eyes.

"Do you want--?" he asked. He didn't know why, but he wanted to trust her.

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Steve followed as efficiently as he could—not marching, he wasn’t much of one for that, but quickly keeping pace just behind Dr. Simmons. It was only when she began to apologize about the surroundings that he chuckled and then let it give way to full laughter for a moment, his tone taking on a dry, lower quality.

"Yeah, beer—your friend likes it? I can… stomach it. Kind of loses its charm when it stops taking the edge off things," he said, mostly joking. "Seems like it’d be a poor substitute for milk, though."

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"Oh, it’s not that she has any preference toward beer, she just never gets the milk!" chuckled Jemma with a shake of her head. "I much prefer cider, actually, but not apple. Apple makes me sick. I like pear and berry cider, it tastes like punch but then you start giggling and everything’s wonderful."

She gestured him toward one of the few seats around the little table, then started digging. “I think I may have some—apple juice? Who did that? Here, here, orange. Nice orange juice. Would you care for some?” she offered.

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"Whatever you've got's fine, Doctor. Just... 'long as a drink's all I'm signing up for," Steve said gently--with a smile because he wanted her to know that if he had a little bit of a problem with this, this place, this plan whatever it was, it wasn't with her. He wasn't even sure it was with Coulson. Coulson, who was alive. He shrugged a little then paced a bit, exploring the little space just so he wouldn't be staring and making her nervous. 

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