Mom. Get out. I'm doing spells.

Photos by rikunow on twitter

The Beast that Bothers

In case you missed it

Imagine if you had a neighbour who keeps performing songs from Phantom of the Opera in his apartment every night, by himself but accompanied by a parrot, which he has taught to sing Christine's part. Admittedly it's kind of obnoxious but you are far too baffled to even be properly annoyed. And also you don't want to confront someone with that kind of power and determination. So every once in a while you just hear this guy dramatically bellow

[ASTONISHINGLY HIGH-PITCHED PARROT SHRIEK]

I'm so sorry I had to it was haunting me

my chemical romance is the funniest and weirdest band ever. They’re all fucking losers who would genuinely rather play dnd than hook up with groupies. The singer used to work at Cartoon Network. The bassist is on the fbi watchlist for crimes against disney. One guitarist is a guitar god but he also used to keep a little action figure of spiderman in his pocket all the time, the other is like a little lap dog of a man, but he’s also on the fbi watchlist for death threats against a us president. They refused to be on the twilight soundtrack, one of the most popular franchises at the time but then they preformed on yo gabba gabba and re-recorded one of their songs in simlish.

Oh I didn’t forget. Make no mistake I did not forget the fact that Stephanie Meyer, nyt’s bestselling author of thee Twilight series who, upon looking at the weirdest greasiest human alive said oh my god I need to make this man* a creepy ass abusive predator. And I did not forget Gerard was so offended and upset that they wrote a whole ass diss track about it and went on a rant on Twitter that ended with them talking about getting that philharmonic cheddar. I can never forget.

The philharmonic cheddar. For proof and prosperity!

“And I don’t think anybody should feel bad if they get diagnosed with a mental illness, ’cause it’s just information about you that helps you to know how to take better care of yourself.

“Being bipolar, there’s nothing wrong with it. Being bipolar is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want.

“And I know some of you are like, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little. I don’t know.”

Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022)

When your lady on her period.

this got  funnier as it went

“Don’t call her a bitch but

GET YOUR BITCH SOME CHOCOLATE”

Facts 😂

There needs to be some sort of induction ceremony

This is the only comedy sketch that doesn’t make fun of women and their period. It try’s to make you relies how weird and annoying periods really are. That’s really refreshing

I legitimately wish they showed this to me in 6th grade health class.

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