the cashier at barnes & noble just gave me this duck at checkout and they said “i give these to children and people with a certain vibe.”

floored to know something about me aligns with this duck

My brother got me a cameo from Joey for my bday😭😭😭😭😭

Couple more text posts for that awful weirdo I won't shut up about 💚

The prophecy has been fulfilled you say?

we passed a sign in boring that said their sister city is dull, scotland

oh there's a third! bland, new south wales!

I'm sorry but I just have to appreciate the wordplay on that last sign. It's brilliant.

i just found out tumblr was storing over three GIGABYTES of cookies on my device without me knowing and that's why it's been running so fucking slow recently... incredible. anyways everyone go clear your fucking cookies. don't let this website run a goddamn video game's worth of disc space in the background for no good reason.

on firefox: settings → search "cookies" → scroll down → "manage cookies" → tumblr should be at the very top because of how much space it's taking → select it → clear cookies → save changes. done

Reblog if you didn’t write My Immortal

We’re going to find the author by process of elimination.

I wasn’t born yet

HOLD ON

omg i wasn’t born yet either

Same here.

wait fuck i was born (but i was 5 and didnt speak english so um~!)

holy shit I wasn’t around so it’s not me

@gibberish-anon-from-hell since you like it so much /lh

yeah, no, i was decidedly not even born yet.

not alive

yoooooooooooo i didn’t exist either

nonexistent for me too

nonexistent gang, ASSEMBLE!!!

me tooo

the gang of nonexistence grows stronger

Damn there’s a lot of young’ uns here now…

(Not that when I was alive then I was old enough to have written that lol)

that’s nice grandma now let’s get you back to bed

I wasn’t even a tinkle in my father’s ball cylinder

I was two

reblog to give the person you reblogged it from a good night’s sleep (maybe)(please)(I’m begging the universe)

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

ATTEMPTED to draw all of Joey Richter’s characters in The Trail to Oregon!

i gave up. this isn’t all of them theres too many.

excluded characters include:

brown works so hard and does so much and everyone is so mean to her. coffee chocolate hair leather tea wood eyes broth a warm coat autumn leaves caramelized onions the crust on a loaf of bread. all things good and warm and kind are brown. bitch!

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

The complete Hatchetfield-verse poster set

All of these are up on my Redbubble if you would like to buy a sticker or poster of these designs!!!

Women can’t resist him but he can sure as hell can resist women