The secret to a happy life

The school holidays are coming to an end and as a school teacher I am in preparation mode for the upcoming term. I am all abuzz with the possibilities that lie ahead. I will be teaching my students persuasive writing, delving into a film study and beginning to expand my pupils knowledge of the world- starting with ancient China. My mind however keeps returning to the students I know are riddled with anxiety and anger. They come to school with folded fists and clenched jaws ready to swing at anything that looks their way. The work challenges them- they throw a right hook, they prefer math and science- cue the verbal attack and god forbid another student crosses their path. They come to school prepared for a fight and they will do anything in their power to get one. BUT WHY? I was mulling over this question knowing full well I could deliver the content for next semester but could I provide an environment where all my students thrive? I stopped and wondered ‘what was the secret to happiness I seemed to possess when I was at school?’ and ‘Did I unwittingly learn how to come to school happy, or was it simply circumstance?’ 

The answer in full detail: Firstly I came from a happy home. My parents taught me what happy looked like. My dad was diagnosed with depression and insomnia when I was 8 and spent a chunk of time in hospital receiving treatment. That being said he is the happiest man I know. He knows how to find joy. He appreciates what he has rather than what he is lacking (and the stories of his childhood suggest he was lacking a lot). My dad does not create lists of things he would be happier with instead he points out what he has. My mum ensures those around her achieve their best and finds happiness in providing happiness in others. She is happy with what she has  and shares that . I came to school knowing what happy looked liked and could replicate it. I did not observe what others had or what I was missing instead i focused on what I had (and luckily for me the school encouraged it).  Secondly, somewhere along the way i picked up the skill of self-confidence. I had absolute faith in my ability (even when I was trash). I knew I was a little odd; I dressed differently, I read non-stop and I even wore my hair short (for a girl in late primary and early high school this was apparently unimaginable). I knew who I was and what I was capable of thus I walked into the school yard head held high.  So how do I get my students to feel the same way? Well I realised I cant..... I can ask them to list the things that make them happy, not the material objects but the things that make them happy that they did not buy they simply had them. I can talk about sparing compassionate thoughts for others and loving themselves BUT ultimately they have to choose to be happy and thats hard!!  

sexuality??

I am not a traditionalist, yet I am a heterosexual woman who aspires to be in monogamous relationship. But I stress I am not a traditionalist.

yes I believe in monogamy but I refuse to be in a relationship were we depend upon each other and live in each others pockets. I don’t want to be someones only person. I want my future partner to have friends and people that give them the things I can’t (I am not a great complimentor you may need to go elsewhere). We will be a partnership but not each other’s worlds. I can’t be everything and I would not expect my future partner to be everything too. I have my mum, my dad, my brother and my close friends I don’t need my partner to replace them. In a sense I believe in non-sexual polyamory having multiple relationships in my life that offer me love, however I view sex as a monogamous commitment.  If you are my boyfriend I expect that that you won’t be having sex with anyone else. If this is something you can’t commit to thats ok, it just means this relationship wont work. I don’t need someone to be my everything!!

I am also extremely attracted to men who are self aware and uniquely styled.Whilst I can see beautiful women,  I have never imagined ending up with a woman.  In order for me to be interested in a guy he has to be able to analyse and express himself with this self awareness. If he dresses uniquely he will immediately grab me attention. His clothes show me that he has thought about his place in the world. It has to be unique, it has to show thought. I also have an instant attraction to men who identify as bi-sexual and or sexual fluid. I find that being a heterosexual often means you can ignore the sexual identity conversation with yourself. I need to be with someone who is open to the conversations and has thought about their identity. This does not exclude heterosexual men, but I know straight up (pun not intended) that someone who lives outside the norm has already given it some thought.  

Marriage??? not necessary for me but if my partner wants the ceremony its got to be done at city hall. I will not be a part of a lengthy vow ceremony they kill me!! I am so up for the dressing up part but the long drawn out lecture on life and love according to a celebrant/ minister is annoying as hell. I want to sign the papers and go have a party. 

DON’T buy me flowers, or dedicate songs to me. It makes me uncomfortable I don’t need that kind of attention. Look at what I love and think of gifts like that, if you need to get me a present. Clean the house, make the bed, just do things that are little surprises. I don’t want gushy!!! 

My sexuality may look traditional on paper- but OMG do not stick me in a traditional relationship. 

I am back with a purpose

I have recently been listening to a podcast called the Love Bomb by Nico Tortorella, where he and his many guests discuss all things love. I adore these conversations and was inspired to make my own. However I have always had an affinity for writing, so no podcast for me instead I will be writing my pondering right here on Tumblr. 

Stay tuned for all my self-observations...Oh a feel free to comment 

Does one ever feel like you’ve got your shit together?

For years it was peddled to women that ones shit could only be together if one was a dutiful wife with a small hoard of children. A man had his shit together when he had his job and doting family. Of course through the years this definition has changed, but what does this mean for the young people of today and the future????

Period ‘fuck it’ Enlightenment

I realised today I am in an age of period enlightenment. 

I have had my period for 9 years now, and today I was sitting in a lecture when I felt my period begin. I didn’t have pads with me but there are several stores on campus that I could have got them from. Instead I went fuck it, whats done is done. I sat there bleeding for 2 hours and drove home. 

This situation in my early years would have caused me to panic, but today I was like “fuck you, I am not spending my money on pads when I have good ones at home”. I have reached the Fuck it stage of Periods and am Loving it. 

So to all young people experiencing their first periods, it doesn’t get better but it does get easier . You’ll learn what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, unless you have medical condition which in that case- I am so sorry!!