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One last song.

@justaburger-archive-blog / justaburger-archive-blog.tumblr.com

My life is the worst kind of superhero story. The girl dies, and the hero is actually the bad guy. All I do is let people down.
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April 15, 2015

When this is all over, Dean and I are going to sit down and have a long conversation. There is still so much unfinished business between us that I need to work out. Deep down, I’m still angry over Gadreel, despite what I say to other people. I’m not leaving, but it’s still so incredibly hard to trust him. I’m still afraid to turn my back to him, and that’s not okay. Still, right now, it’s best to pick my own battles and focus on the more important issues: fixing Dean. Everything else comes later.

The anxiety I’m feeling over this new plan is making me sick. I wish I could tell Cas. I’m not sure what his reaction would be, and if he’d be on board. I have nightmares where everything blows up in my face in the worst possible way. We keep doing this over and over again: letting the wrong people in, doing the most reckless things for the right reasons with the wrong people. Rowena and I have a common enemy, but what happens once that common enemy is gone? What’s stopping her from gutting Dean once that mark is removed? Rowena with that book is a bad idea and will do more harm than good. I have to make sure I get it back once both our ends of the deal have been completed.

This is the only option. I can’t lose my brother again. I’ve spent too much time without him because I’ve lost him: Hell, Purgatory, etc. The world keeps taking him from me, no matter how many times I take him back. I can’t describe the feeling I get on paper, when I lose him to something like that. It’s different than if he were to get married and move away. It’s almost like a flower wilting inside of me, like someone’s reaching inside of me and picking away the petals, one by one.

He owes me this. He owes it to me to get better, after the hell he invoked with Gadreel.

                                        Sam Winchester

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Hi friends. Pretty sure the decision’s been made to remake this blog, if anyone’s still paying attention to me.

I’m not sure when this will happen. Between my fifty-hour work weeks and the incredible load of work my five classes have added, I feel like I’m never done with work. My free time will be spent at dance and with friends as I can, so as much as I hate to, I’ll probably be disappearing for a while.

Keep following this blog for the time being if you’re interested in waiting? I’m going to keep this url for the new blog, and I’ll post it here when I finally find the time to pick up roleplaying again.

Most of my verses will stay, and I’ll be contacting my main/most common partners and those with threads I’m interested in keeping which will transfer over to the new blog.

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Anonymous asked:

Reminder that you are doing great, friend! Graduation is close, you're almost there! I, personally, miss you a whole bunch and really look forward to when you once again grace my dashboard with your presence. Keep going, friend, you're doing so well!!!

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I MISS BEING HERE SO MUCH i can pretty much see the endthere’s only a few more assignments in my classesi miss sam so much like it’s physically pained me to be gone for so long but college-boy over here is doing whatever he can to make sure i graduate (i might make cum laude; he better be freakin proud)

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Hi friends. Pretty sure the decision’s been made to remake this blog, if anyone’s still paying attention to me.

I’m not sure when this will happen. Between my fifty-hour work weeks and the incredible load of work my five classes have added, I feel like I’m never done with work. My free time will be spent at dance and with friends as I can, so as much as I hate to, I’ll probably be disappearing for a while.

Keep following this blog for the time being if you’re interested in waiting? I’m going to keep this url for the new blog, and I’ll post it here when I finally find the time to pick up roleplaying again.

Most of my verses will stay, and I’ll be contacting my main/most common partners and those with threads I’m interested in keeping which will transfer over to the new blog.

Avatar

Hi friends. Pretty sure the decision’s been made to remake this blog, if anyone’s still paying attention to me.

I’m not sure when this will happen. Between my fifty-hour work weeks and the incredible load of work my five classes have added, I feel like I’m never done with work. My free time will be spent at dance and with friends as I can, so as much as I hate to, I’ll probably be disappearing for a while.

Keep following this blog for the time being if you’re interested in waiting? I’m going to keep this url for the new blog, and I’ll post it here when I finally find the time to pick up roleplaying again.

Most of my verses will stay, and I’ll be contacting my main/most common partners and those with threads I’m interested in keeping which will transfer over to the new blog.

Avatar

Hi friends. Pretty sure the decision’s been made to remake this blog, if anyone’s still paying attention to me.

I’m not sure when this will happen. Between my fifty-hour work weeks and the incredible load of work my five classes have added, I feel like I’m never done with work. My free time will be spent at dance and with friends as I can, so as much as I hate to, I’ll probably be disappearing for a while.

Keep following this blog for the time being if you’re interested in waiting? I’m going to keep this url for the new blog, and I’ll post it here when I finally find the time to pick up roleplaying again.

Most of my verses will stay, and I’ll be contacting my main/most common partners and those with threads I’m interested in keeping which will transfer over to the new blog.

Avatar

HEY FRIENDS i miss being here so bad; the new blog is just around the corner once this semester stops seriously kicking my ass but IN THE MEANTIME my mom gave me one of her old ipod’s— it’s an ipod touch and i’ve gotten kik (!!!) so i’ll be making it for sam, if anyone’s interested in doing some cute things with sam (or any of my characters— just request one and we can do the thing.) the username is justaburger, so go ahead and add me while you’re all patiently waiting for me to come back.

Avatar

HEY FRIENDS i miss being here so bad; the new blog is just around the corner once this semester stops seriously kicking my ass but IN THE MEANTIME my mom gave me one of her old ipod's-- it's an ipod touch and i've gotten kik (!!!) so i'll be making it for sam, if anyone's interested in doing some cute things with sam (or any of my characters-- just request one and we can do the thing.) the username is justaburger, so go ahead and add me while you're all patiently waiting for me to come back.

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