What I’m looking forward to in 2017.

Jackie.

I love a lot of actresses, but to me Natalie Portman is THE ONE. She is the love of my filmic life and I am definitely more than a little bit on love with her. She’s been a bit quiet as of recent years, but she’s getting major awards buzz for her performance as Jackie Kennedy, and I’m itching to check it out. It’s just a shame no one I know will want to see an art house film about an old POTUS. SAD FACE. But for Natalie, I will find a way.

La La Land.

There are a few awardsy films I actually really want to see this year (Moonlight, Manchester by the Sea) but none more so than La La Land, which I get to see this weekend – YAYY. I love Ryan Gosling and Damien Chazelle and if his follow up film is even half as good as Whiplash then I am going to love it.

Black Panther.

I’ve been falling ever so slightly out of love with Marvel films recently (maybe its overkill) but I’m hoping 2017 is the year that I get back on board. Guardians of the Galaxy has been my favourite so far so I’m looking forward to the sequel, my love/mild obsession with Taika Waititi has got me looking forward to the latest Thor outing (seriously, check out Hunt for the Wilderpeople, it will BLOW YOUR MIND) but the main one I’m itching to see is Black Panther.

Hollywood has been itching for a huge, blockbusting POC-lead movie for far too long so I hope it smashes records for that reason, but I’m also so excited because it’s got the most incredible cast of any upcoming film I can think of.

I’ve waxed lyrical about this cast on here already, but seriously, HOW incredible is this?

Lupita, Angela and Danai are three of my favourite ladies, and if you aren’t yet familiar with Daniel Kaluuya then prepare for him to explode this year because he is a huge talent. This looks great.

Prevenge.

A horror comedy about pregnancy from Alice Lowe, one of the geniuses behind the hugely underrated sightseer? Count me right in.

Top er...two of 2016. (Sorry)

As has probably been apparent, I haven’t really been as on it with my blog recently as I have been in other years…heck, I’m even thirteen days late posting my end of the year things. One of my resolutions is to get me arse into gear with my writing and cinema trips, so expect better bloggy things in 2017.

Until then, you’ll have to put up with a minimal effort best of 2016 list, because honestly I haven’t seen enough films this year to justify a top ten; here’s just some of the ones I missed that I really wanted to see: Triple Nine, Passengers (I know, sorry), Spotlight, The Witch, The Light Between Oceans, Train to Busan, Arrival and a ton of others. Also, barely any blew me away enough to warrant a top five. So here’s my top two of the year, which is feeble I know but these are the only two wow films I’ve seen. I’ve gone for A and B rather than 1 and 2 because I can’t decide which I liked better.

A.      Room.

I saw this way back at the start of 2016, and was blown away by just how powerful and affecting it was. I loved how it still managed to build tension in the escape scene even though we all knew what was going to happen and it made me feel deeply saddened but also really uplifted. And you couldn’t spot two finer leads in any film this year; Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay absolutely nailed it.

B.      Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

A proper review of this will be coming soon, but the last films I saw of the year was easily one of my favourites. I’m hoping Thor: Ragnork will reignite my Marvel fire because Taika Waititi is such a talented director and he has created a fantastically uplifting kinda-buddy movie that is a joy from start to finish. I really like how it’s so low-key (low-key performances, low-key humour, quiet settings) but when all of these things are put together it creates a really special little gem of a film.   

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

One of the most pleasant surprises of the year for me was Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Granted, it may have had something to do with the fact that I saw it in my favourite cinema screen (Classic at the Tyneside Cinema in Newcastle – swoon) with a cauldron cake and a glass of butter beer, but I really, really enjoyed it.  

I’m very open on my blog about my dislike for the Harry Potter films (probably because my love for the books is infinitely high and every time they fuck them up I get furious) but Fantastic Beasts really works on its own.

First off, the acting is much better here. My main problem with the originals is that the acting makes me cringe. Daniel Radcliffe – while he’s been decent in other things (My Boy Jack, The Woman in Black) – does not have the emotional range to do Harry justice. Oscar favourite Eddie Redmayne is already a much better choice, and he plays the lead with lots of charm and enthusiasm and fun and it feels very genuine. Plus, we don’t have to deal with Emma Watson’s overacting eyebrows or Bonnie I-can-barely-speak Wright. Phew.

My other problem is that they just aren’t loyal enough to the source material. I know it must be difficult to cram one of the lengthy novels into a film so obviously omissions must be made, but it really grinds my gears when they add bits to the films that weren’t in the books. Do we seriously think we can improve on JK Rowling’s magnificent story telling by ADDING LENNY BLOODY HENRY AS A TALKING SHRUNKEN HEAD? It’s just not on.

There’s not really any source material to screw up (apart from a short, fictitious non-fiction encyclopaedia. Hard to explain but you get it) so this blank canvas with no expectations really worked in the films favour. It created a really magical world out of nothing.

The story really works, I love the characters (especially the romance between the two sidekicks, the bread scene was cute AF) and the creatures themselves are fantastic and really capture some of the magic and imagination that you get from the original book series.

I’m looking forward to the next instalment where I’m sure *poorly hidden cameo surprise who looked kinda weirdly like David Lynch* will already make a better villain than Ralph Fiennes rubbish Voldermort. Now someone PLEASE get me a Niffler.

☆☆☆☆

Bridget Jones Baby

Quick one as I didn’t really have a lot to say, but:

☆☆☆☆ 

Sing Street.

I adore John Carney. Begin Again and Once are two of my favourite films. I saw the latter on stage and cried because it was so beautiful. When the reviews started dropping for Sing Street people went wild for it. It was, apparently, funny and sad and sweet and basically everything I loved about the last two. So it almost pains me to say this, but I just didn’t get it.

Some of the songs were catchy (Riddle of the Model is a banger) but apart from that, I just didn’t connect to it much. I didn’t really engage with the characters and didn’t get the warm fuzzy feeling that I’m used to from his films. So that sucked. :(

I really wish I’d loved it as much as everyone else, but I just didn’t. CRYING FACE EMOJI.

☆☆☆

The Neon Demon.

You kind of have to admire Nicolas Winding Refn; love him or loathe him, he certainly marches to the beat of his own drum. It’s just a shame that his drum tends to be super pretentious/a bit too weird right now.

I can’t think of a director whose two consecutive films have caused such a divisive response from me – Drive was absolutely phenomenal and worth every single superlative thrown its way, Only God Forgives was absolutely woeful. Soulless, dull and wedged incredibly far up its own bottom. The Neon Demon is somewhere in the middle.

It’s very much a mixed bag. Pros: It looks stunning, every shot is immaculate and there’s some kind of morbid fascination that goes along with watching some of the particularly gross moments. Cons: It’s SO pretentious, it’s soulless and I didn’t care a jot about what happened to anyone. And obviously there’s no Ryan Gosling. Boo.

So, it won’t make you want to punch a wall in anger and frustration like Only God Forgives but it would also have a long way to crawl to even lick the no doubt neon trimmed heels of its infinitely superior brother Drive. Maybe worth a quick watch for the spectacle/the yuckiness if you’re super bored.

☆☆☆

Moanna.

Quick one again.

☆☆☆

The Purge: Election Year.

Quick notes again.

☆☆☆.5

Don’t Breathe.

Speedy review theme because I really want to get up to date for 2017. So:

☆☆☆☆

We *NEED* to talk about how flipping great the cast is for Black Panther.

I mean, Chadwick Boseman, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordon are pretty ridiculously good on their own, but they’ve also squished in another four of my favourites.

Angela Bassett, who is insanely fierce and fabulous in American Story. I watched a bit of Hotel with my boyfriend and was like “I don’t know if I want her to adopt me or marry me’ and he was like yeah I get that. She’s fantastic.

Danai Gurira, who is also fantastically fierce and fabulous, but also adds this vulnerable edge to her character in The Walking Dead that is just perfection. She is one of the few characters in the show that I still actively give a shit about. 

Daniel Kaluuya, who I knew from yearsss ago when he was WRITING OR A TV SHOW when he was just a teenager. Hello, talent. He’s also a pretty great actor too, and showcases this brilliantly in one of the finest episodes episodes of Black Mirror.

And last but certainly not least, there’s Lupita NYong’o. Beautiful, talented, smart, made us all cry buckets in 12 Years a Slave and dresses like an edgy Disney Princess with the colour setting turned up. What’s not to love?

I know I said I was falling out of love with Marvel movies, but I will absolutely be seeing this film and I shall be draining in all of the talent and beauty in sheer awe. 

Gilmore Girls revival thoughts.

******STUFFED TO THE GILLS WITH SPOILERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!******

It’s been just shy of a month since the Gilmore Girls revival hit Netflix, and after my third (yep) viewing – this time with pen and paper in hand – I’ve finally decided to write up my feelings of the year we spent with the girls. From the good, to the bad, to the downright ugly.

First off, it’s important to point out that I am a Gilmore Girls super fan. To the point that the launch of the new episodes was not viewed as just a TV show, it was an EVENT. We got up at 7am, wore Luke’s T’shirts, bought copious amounts of junk food…it was huge for us:

Having said that, I am fully aware of the flaws of both the original series as well as the new episodes, so didn’t go in with any rose tinted glasses. So here we go:  

The aesthetic.

Gosh, wasn’t the whole thing just beautiful to look at? The attention to detail for every season was stunning, from the pretty pink blossom leaves to the twinkly Christmas lights and the fabulous red bow on the Gilmore fridge that was absolutely 100% Lorelai and 0% Luke.

I was also a big fan of the way the series was shot, particularly this scene that was just so Wes Anderson it hurt, and I loved it.

I never really think of Gilmore Girls as a ‘dated’ TV show until I go back to the earlier seasons and see some of the wardrobe choices. Chord trousers, people?! REALLY. Here, though, they outfits are a lot more current and up to date. I would like all of the outfits in Rory’s wardrobe, please and thank you Santa Claus.

Some of the ‘other’ characters.

After seven years of being a fabulous but criminally underused member of the core cast, Michel finally got some much deserved backstory. I love his descriptions of his husband ‘ordering’ a baby for them to adopt, and the bits with him searching for a new job gave Yanic some time to get involved in some of the emotional plot lines. The part in the secret bar (genius) was lovely, and really validated a friendship that’s always been funny, but often left you wondering why on earth they’re friends anyway.

Now for Lane. Had I been a particular fan of hers in the first place, I think I’d have been really disappointed by her presence in the revival. For a girl who started out seemingly on a path to do her own thing after rebelling against everything she was ‘meant’ to be, it’s a shame that she seems sort of stuck.

She should be off conquering the world with her music, seeing different countries, falling in love, trying new things. Instead, she remains in her home town, still being pushed into church things by her Mother, raising two kids and still married to the same guy who never really deserved her anyway. 

Of course there’s nothing wrong with making roots and doing the whole family thing, it just didn’t seem very her. When the biggest shocker for her character is that you finally see her Father (the elusive Mr Kim) on screen, you feel like she may have deserved better. But at least Hep Alien are still doing their thing.

Someone who gets a much better deal out of the revival is Paris, who was one of the biggest assets to the original series thanks to Liza Weil’s brilliant portrayal. Here, she pretty much steals every episode that she’s in. THANK GOD. 

Of course Paris fantastically successful in her career, but her personal life is still chaotic, which leads to some classic ranting and oversharing. I think I laughed most when she was on screen, whether she’s booting the doors down at Chilton or discussing the horrifying situation of ‘the stairs’.

Emily.

For me, Emily’s story had the most emotional heft out of everyone's; It’s a word now contaminated with sickly connotations thanks to reality TV, but she really does go on a journey throughout these four episodes. We have the grief and the anger and the depression you’d expect of a woman who’s lost her husband, partner and soulmate, but then her story takes off into so many different unexpected and wonderful directions and I honestly loved every single one.

There are so many glorious Emily moments to treasure in the revival, and for so many different reasons: delivering the first proper swear in Gilmore history (thank, Netflix!) by calling out everyone’s ‘bullshit’ in the DAR made me laugh and also want to applaud, and the phone call with Lorelai aout her happiest Richard memory made me want to cry it was so touching.

Her ending, though, was everything I never realised I wanted for her and then some. Moving homes with her long term (!) maid and her family, slipping her trainers (!) on for a day at work traumatising kids at the whaling museum and tucking the maids kids in at night was so different for her and really showed her growth and development now that’s she’s lost her other half. Kelly Bishop deserves all of the awards for this, she was wonderful.

Rory.

Let’s not beat around the bush: this was a *very* problematic series for Rory, essentially shining a huge magnifying glass on everything that made her somewhat unlikable in the first batch (more on that later) but there was on arch of her story that I really liked: her writing a book about The Gilmore Girls.

She might be struggling in the world of journalism (yet can somehow afford to dot back and forth from Stars Hollow to London every week, but we’ll leave that one) but her idea to write down the story of Lorelai and herself seems very right. And writing it from her Grandfather’s desk is a really lovely touch. And obviously her chemistry with Lauren Graham is still what glues the whole thing together, and their dialogue together is still A+.

But, then, there’s the dark cloud over the whole revival, which is: 

The affair.

In the original series, a major tipping point people for people who stopped being Rory fans was when she had sex with married Dean. It was such a horrible thing to do that it was hard for the character to come back from it, however it was saved slightly by her at least feeling something along the lines of guilt after a right old bollocking from Lorelai. In the revival, we’re greeted with a similar plot line, as Rory (with a boyfriend) is still hooking with Logan (who openly has a fiancé). Yikes.

I’ve seen a lot of people saying they dislike Rory for being ‘slutty’ in the revival, which I disagree with; she could fuck a million wookies if she was single and they were single and I wouldn’t care a jot. But this is cheating, and that’s different, because they’ve both got people they can knowingly hurt.

Sure, Paul is presented as a bit of joke, but he seems like a nice guy and Rory guiltlessly fooling around his back just seems mean. And Logan paying for hotel rooms for mistress Rory in London behind some poor girl’s back is just icky. What a catch, huh?

It’s made even more annoying when Lorelai finds out and it’s sort of just like ‘ha ha sort your life out a bit, but you’re still my perfect little princess.” Where’s that fire and those principles that came out when she hooked up with Dean?? Can Rory literally do anything she wants now with no negative comebacks?

Honestly, this whole story line should just have been scrapped the moment the idea came up, because it encapsulates all of the selfish, privileged, entitled traits in Rory’s character that make her someone who’s often difficult to care for.  At least it has finally made my mind up once and for all that I am no longer routing for Rory. She is, in fact, dreadful.

The Boys.

All three of Rory’s exes made an appearance, and all made their impact in different way. Logan, for example, is still an awfully smug, smarmy arsehole. He was always a selfish smart arse, but here he’s given new levels of dislikability by screwing around behind his girlfriend’s back care free.

We also get a visit from the ever-irritating, over privileged Life and Death Brigade. Oh, how we laugh as they break in and trash the market and buy tango clubs and hotels willy nilly. God, I always have and always will despise these dip shits. Can Logan just quickly do what we all know he’s going to do anyway and finally just disappear full up his own arsehole, never to be seen again.

I was never really a Dean fan either, but I found his one scene rather sweet. Hideous fling with Rory aside, he always seemed like he’d end up in a happily-married-with-kids setup, so there one scene together was nice. Short but sweet.

Jess is still by number one Gilmore guy without question. I mean first things first we’ve got his general physical perfection because

Let us all raise a glass to those bulging biceps, well done friend.

It’s also nice to see him doing well: he’s got his books and he’s close with Luke and he’s crinkled out his attitude and he’s got his shit together, so it’s nice to see he’s maintained the development his character showed during the course of the original seasons.

I also went into the revival heavy TEAM JESS for ending up with Rory, but I’ve changed my mind now. She doesn’t deserve Jess. So head my way if you like, Mariano, you will certainly be appreciated…

Lorelai & Luke.

Thank goodness these two are still going strong. Sure, there’s a small blip in the summer but it never felt like we were heading into breakup terms, which is excellent because my heart could not handle it.

Of course there’s still a chunk of Lorelai drama, with an overreaction that leads to her ‘doing a Wild’ and attempting to trek around America. This is a bit silly and unnecessary, but it’s worth it for the phone call she makes to Emily about her Father that brings a tear to her eye.

The overall loveliest moment, though is their wedding. Or rather, the bit just before, as they wander through the sparkles and the square looks so pretty and magical. It gave me that nice, warm fuzzy feeling which was just what I wanted from the revival. And the look on little Kirk’s face when she sends him the ‘it’s perfect!’ text is just too darn adorable to handle.It’s nice that despite any drama and difficulties along the way, these two wind up exactly where they belong.

The Omissions:

It was fantastic to see pretty much everyone from the revival return to the show, but there were still a few noticeable omissions. Obviously, there was Richard, whose absence was dealt with in a sensitive and beautiful way. Then, there was the insufferable Liz and TJ, who we were mercifully spared from actually seeing and had to deal with only as silent participants at the end of a phone line.

However, there were still a few other characters that I’d have liked to have seen. Like, why weren’t Madeline, Louise and Max shown at the Chilton reunion? Officially, they’d have loved the actors to have been there but they ‘ran out of pages’. But less important love interest Jason was there, as was less important frenemy Francie. I’m sure the majority of the fans would’ve preferred to see the other guys squeezed in the script, especially when they spent about three years on that godawful Stars Hollow Musical.

The last 4 words.

I feel like a real bucket list point was ticket off when I found out what ASP’s final four words were. Were they worth the eight year wait? Maybe not, I don’t think anything ever could be, but they certainly open the door for more episodes, and that can only be a good thing. Come on, Netflix, flash that cash and get us Gilmore revival.2 PLEASE.

I think personally I’d have preferred if the last four words were something really weird and quirky (after all, that is the nature of the show) that no one could ever have predicted, because I’d heard the actual ones mentioned at a few times. One of the ideas that floated through my head after the Keifer Sutherland chat would be this:

Rory: That’s Keifer Sutherland.

Lorelai: Yep.

I’d have liked something like that a bit better, but my brain is a very strange place. It’s still exciting that we might someday soon get to see a brand new shiny Gilmore Girl. Or even, guy.

In Summary.

I might sound like I’m being quibbly and moany, but I actually really liked the revival. It was funny and sad and smart and frustrating, and basically everything I loved about the original rolled up into one lovely binge-watchable package. I hope this is not our last trip to Stars Hollow, but if it is, I’m glad it was the trip Amy Sherman Palladino wanted us to take.

Doctor Strange.

Ok, Marvel, I think I’ve finally had enough now. There are just too many films to keep track of now, and I feel their hearts are getting smaller and smaller with each appearance.

Benedict Cumberbatch is so so so so soooo charismatic in Sherlock it’s insane, but here he’s another bland, soulless, hero-dude. The villain - in now typical Marvel style - is super bland and forgettable. And the plot is just meh.

honestly, I just wasn’t feeling it. Though I did quite like the psychedelic space jaunt into the nineteenth dimension or wherever the fuck it was we kept visiting. Count me out of the sequel. 

☆☆  

Sausage Party.

I sort of like Seth Rogen, but at some point someone needs to reign him in a bit and say now, stop now, this is *TOO* Seth Rogen.

Sausage party is peak bad Seth Rogen: Crude, purile, unfunny, sort of offensive and not enjoyable in the slightest.

Avoid this like the plague.

The Girl on the Train

Another quick one, but this is a fairly dire adaptation. The book is like a grimy dirty story you can imagine taking place in some grey buildings under an even greyer English sky.

The film is just so wrong. Everyone is miscast and they’re all to perfect looking with their shiney American teeth and accents that don’t fit at all with how you’d imagine.

People have praised Emily Blunt’s performance, but I was not impressed. In fact, I think it was best summed up in a Tweet (which, regrettably I can’t find because the genius behind it deserves full recognition) that compared it to Dave after Dentist.

It’s always nice to gaze at Justin Theroux, but aside from that, avoid.

☆☆

Zootopia/Zootropolis. Whatever we’re calling the darn thing.

I am on a caffeine-fuelled mission (we’re talking potential all-nighter on the horizon here) to get my blog up to date in the next 24 hours so I can GET SHIT DONE in 2017 (new year new me, and all that bollocks, you understands.

Therefore, some of the reviews coming up may not be the most detailed. But I will say that you ABSOLUTELY 100% SHOULD SEEK OUT ZOOTOPIA.

I tend to regard kid-aimed animation in a similar way to horrors, strangely: the majority are terrible to so-so, but when you get a good one GOD DAMN do they tend to be GOOD. And Zootopia is so, so good.

It has a nice, positive message that’s lovely for the young ones, but there’s enough interesting plot, solid voice performances and genuinely hilarious moments to ensure that adults are entertained as well.

There’s but a smidgen of 2016 remaining, and I doubt anything in the remaining time will make me laugh quite as much as this little guy:

WATCH IT.

☆☆☆☆

Haven’t written a listicle in AGES, trying to get back into the groove, so: Film characters in blue.

1. Veronica, Heathers.

Heathers is like a cinematic scrap book of the best and worst of the eighties (I've never seen so many padded blazers in a room before) and I'm rather partial to Winona Ryder's ruffly blue skirt in this scene.

2. Superman, Superman.

That red and blue colour scheme is rather bold, even if you ignore the fact that he has underwear on over his trousers, but hey he's Superman, and he can (weirdly) pull it off.

3. Elsa, Frozen.

Disney's most critically and commercially successful film for many years also features one of it's most iconic costumes. While it's never made apparent why Elsa's powers to create snow also involve the ability to produce perfectly functioning clothing and palaces, it doesn't really matter when the addition of a spangly ice blue dress, a plait and a power ballad can propel her from nought to badass in about 4 seconds.  

4. Django, Django Unchained.

One of the funniest moments from Quentin Tarantino's interesting but overly long Western comes when Django gets to pick his own outfit and selects this ruffly, velvety monstrosity that would make Austin Powers wince.  

5. Dean, Blue Valentine.

No one wears a suit better than Ryan Gosling, and no Ryan Gosling character wears a suit better than Dean in Blue Valentine. He's never looked better than when he weds his love Cindy in this lovely powder blue jacket. Dreamy.

6. Sydney, American Hustle.

American Hustle had all kind of weird going on with the costumes, hair and make-up last year. While many honed in on Christian Bale's comb-over, Jennifer Lawrence's marigolds and Bradley Coopers, Amy Adams seemed to slip under the radar somewhat. This is a shame as she too got to revel in the seventies ridiculousness, with enormous curls and some spectacular plunging dresses.

7. Emma, Blue is the Warmest Colour.

More hair rather than clothing, Emma's bright blue hair is arguably the first thing that draws Adele to her love in the racey French Cannes winner.  

8. Betty, White Christmas.

There's a bit of everything going on in these gloriously OTT costumes from White Christmas. Gloves, lace, flashy jewellry, feathers...if you can't over indulge at Christmas, then when can you?

9. Katniss, The Hunger Games.

Fashion is a pivitol factor in both the Hunger Games novels and film adaptations, highlighting the ridiculousness of the Captiol and showing what power the media has when something as simple as a dress can make the public love Katniss. However, it's the dress Katniss wears at the reaping in the very first novel that stands out most. While everything seems muted and beige in District 12, her pale blue dress and braid make her stand out immediately, but not in a glaringly obvius way.  

10. Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz.

One of the most easily identifiable costumes of all time, Dorothy's Gingham blue dress teemed with her glittery red slippers is one of the most iconic looks in the history of cinema. It's pretty much impossible to go to a fancy dress party these days and not see someone wearing it.