dan is that your impression of domestic gamer phil

music: Troye Sivan - Youth

My youth, my youth is yours 

A truth so loud you can’t ignore

Nothing Burns Like the Cold Masterpost

Summary: Phil Lester is different, having the power to manipulate water with just a flick of his hand. Because of this, he was transferred into the special school, Dahlia Academy, which was built to harbor students with magical abilities. Here, he meets Dan Howell, a cold and distant pyromaniac who doesn’t get close to anyone. Warnings: arson, violence, vomit, murder, character death (dw its a happy ending), cussing

Chapters: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten  Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen

Fanart by @moonlitdan Fanart by @alpaca–queen  Fanart by amazingphone on wattpad

Updated every friday!

Exercising No. 4

(🚦 DO NOT Read/View this content if you are sensitive/offended/triggered easily 🚦CONTENT IS EXTREMELY SENSITIVE & IS WHAT SOME MAY FIND TRIGGERING OR DISTURBING)

Come on, you pathetic fuck. Work. Work. Work. There is no fucking reason as to why you shouldn’t be working your ass off, burning calories. Ana doesn’t fucking care how much you’ve already worked off. That’s the point. You keep going. Your fat is touching your fat for fuck’s sake. Don’t tell me you have enough fucking energy to stuff your face but not enough to do a few curlups, or leg lifts. It’s seriously the easiest fucking shit ever, and if you honestly can’t do something as fucking easy as that, then you might as well start digging a grave now. Your motivation is dead. Your strength is dead. Weakling. Fuck that nice body, that’s out of the question now homie

Goals

the biggest motivation for me is the fact that I’ve never seen myself skinny so I don’t know what I’ll look like I don’t know if my hip bones are pointed or if they’re more rounded I don’t know if I’ll have a wide or a narrow thigh gap I don’t know if my rib cage is tapered or straight

but I’m going to find out when I see them

This is… Really cool. Learning the shape of your own skeleton.

I will only stop when my thighs don’t touch anymore.

I will only stop when my stomach doesn’t have a muffin top.

I will only stop when my arms don’t have any fat.

I will only stop when my chin looks defined.

I will only stop when I look adorable and tiny on oversized clothes.

I will only stop when my collarbones look absolutely defined.

I will only stop when I’m confident enough to wear crop tops.

I will only stop when my body looks flawless on pictures.

I will only stop when i’m confident enough to take pictures in bikinis.

I will only stops when he carries me without him pulling a back muscle.

I will only stop when people stop making fun of my weight and start complimenting my body.

I will only stop when I’m able to eat fat foods without feeling guilty.

I will only stop when my butt looks flawless on thigh skirts.

I will only stop when i’m perfect.

How to get a Thigh Gap

Hey hey, skinny lovers!

Before I start writing this, I just wanted to answer a question I’m asked frequently. Yes I am active on this blog. NO I didn’t dropped it. You may have noticed, eating disorders take a lot of place in our lives. But who cares? We’re here for the thigh gap! And I’m here to deliver all its secrets. Sooo Nature Mommy hasn’t spoiled us. Besides those poisoned gifts usually called food, she made our hips the hardest place to lose fat :(  No wonder why having a thigh gap is a sign of pure success then! So here are some small advices. I got mine in one week, during a water fast, and believe me, I was really far from it. Anyways :)

1. I suggest you to the inner thighs workout (drive by challenge) by Blogilates! Only 5 minutes, you should do it every morning and every evening. First results in a few days. 2. Bananas. Eat them before a workout! People don’t eat them because they are supposed to be high cals. But this is actually your best ally to lose weight. It increase considerably fat burning and those are not just facts I read on the internet (well a little but still). Before every hard workout (1h or more) I ate a banana and wow I lost weight way faster with this, even If I didn’t changed my calories intake. 3. Talking about calories intake! One of the common mistakes is to fix yourself a limit, or a daily calories intake. The best way to lose faster is tricking your metabolism. One day 500, the next 250, the next day again 500… This is why “Pro Ana Diets” don’t have the same number of cals everyday. The most famous of them is probably the ABC diet, known for incredible results, and incredible difficulty.

4. The Butterfly Stretch! It burns fast pretty quick without really making efforts around your hips. Try to do 1minute of it when waking up and when about to sleep. 5. Avoid high-carbs food and gluten. Unfortunately, those type of food usually (I said usually, it is not the case for everyone) makes your hips bigger before any parts of your body, even if you don’t noticed it, especially if you’re a girl. Of course, I also said to avoid it, not to banish it. It can be good to lose weight in other parts… Have any other tips? Let me know! I’ll add them to this little list :)

Tips for hiding Ana

- Wear clothes that are in between fitted and baggy, Really baggy clothes are way obvious and can actually make you look skinnier. But wear a lot of layers. Wear tights, tight pants, or leg warmers under regular loose pants and 2-3 shirts at a time. - Say you eat with a friend and go for a long walk instead - Press on your stomach when it grumbles - Only eat around other people! They will know that you do eat and assume you eat alone as well - Paint you nails so people don’t notice that they are starting to get discolored - Check the fridge when nobody else is around. Find foods that you would have eaten and get rid of them - Tell everyone that you’re allergic to some foods - Say you’re sick so you can’t eat - Don’t panic when people starts to talk about anorexia/bulimia, just say things like “Jennifer Lawrence is perfect” and “Mary Kate and Ashely are too skinny” - When you eat with your parents wear big socks, where you can put food from the plate into when no one is looking - Eat slow! Your parents (friends, whatever…) will think that you have eaten the same amount as them - Talk! Talk a lot while you eat so your parents wouldn’t notice what you put on your plate - Go out in the kitchen and pretend like you’re looking after food. Open the fridge and make something in the microwave so your parents not only can hear you’re looking after food but also smell it. Take some food into your room and throw it out. Leave some crumbs on a plate so it looks like you have eaten it - Find some activities and say that you have eaten there. Like I fasts every Tuesday because I’m not home from 4pm to 9pm - If your parents find you looking at a Pro Ana website or thinspo, say that you have a project in school. - If you go down in dress size cut the size marks out! - In the night, throw out some of the foods that you feel tempted to eat and tell your parents that you have eaten it - If you freeze, because you have gone so much down in weight, NEVER tell your parents. If it’s really bad just say that you feel sick - Take sun. You always look healthier when you’re tan- Eat a tiny piece of onion or a pinch of garlic powder so your breath will smell like you ate. This is especially good for if you say you went out for pizza - Make sure you continue buying/asking for tampons. Carry them with you in case a friend needs one. She’ll thank you and unknowingly help you hide your missed period! - At a party try to drink from opaque cups or beer cans. You can bring it with you to the bathroom and dump it then refill with water.

 At a bar always volunteer to fetch the drinks for everyone, then order a diet coke for yourself. Your friends will think it is a rum and coke and the bartender will just assume you’re an ex-alcoholic or something-

 Before going to the doctor drink a TON of water. also load up your pockets with spare change or rolls of change. You can also sew quarters or other small weighted objects into your underwear or bra. if you’re desperate you can wear ankle weights under your pants but if you’re discovered its a dead giveaway, and probably not worth it.

 *If your doctor is aware of your ED, drinking water won’t work because it’s likely they’ll test your urine for water-loading - Feed leftovers to the dog. They’ll think you ate it

The 3 strikes binge chart

If you are having a rough time with binging, then you can try this out.

This is for when you disobey Ana or try cheating yourself. It’s like a “3 strikes and you’re out” idea, and here’s how it works:

-If you binge, you get a strike. -If you eat on a day of fasting, you get a strike. -If you eat more than you have alloted yourself in the day, you get a strike.

Once you get 3 strikes, you must have a(nother) day of fasting. You are allowed to prepare your body the day before, but you must fast no later than 2 days after you got 3 strikes.

Do not punish yourself any further than fasting. Mistakes can happen, but this trick will get you back on track. -It helps to think about the consequences while you are debating on binging/breaking your self promise.

Good luck, and keep your head up! You are more than your hunger.

My Rules To Live By (anti-binge edition)

1. If you feel like you wanna binge, stay away from the kitchen. There’s lots of things you can do in other parts of the house.

2. (If you can) go into the bathroom and lock the door. Get naked and do jumping jacks in front of the mirror. Still wanna binge?

3. Go on a walk. Bring your dog. Bring your camera. Take your sweet time on that walk. Walk further than you ever have.

4. Sleep. Sleeping is my go to tip. I usually am not allowed out of the house when I want to binge so I sleep. Plus sleeping is good for you.

5. Craft. Crafting can make you feel better and if you pick a craft that will take awhile, it’ll keep you distracted for that much longer. I like to paint/make dreamcatcher/ make flowercrowns.

6. Call a friend and chat. I’m sure you’ve got some friends that you’ve lost contact with. Get back in contact with them. Catch up with them.

7. Work out. This one is obvious. If you don’t have a gym membership, do something at home.

8. Yoga. Do some yoga. It’ll help you center yourself and you’ll feel better. Plus its fun.

9. Write in a journal. Write how you’re feeling. Make lists. Do whatever you want in that journal.

10. Look at my blog. I’m sure I’ve posted something that you’ll like. Or, just go on tumblr. (Lol @ the self promo)

Hope these tips help

eating disorder playlist

UPDATED: 2.4.12 most of all of these songs are on my ipod. most of them are in their own playlist. I’m always on the look out for songs that I can relate to and since I’ve gathered a pretty good amount.. I thought I’d share them with you guys. along with each artist and song title is a lyric from the song (not necessarily my favorite..just the most ed related):

Nine Rules to Curb Binging

1. Change the way you think and look at food! You have to think about food in a different perspective. When you binge you typically think of food as an answer to your problems, like it’s a reward and that you ‘deserve’ it. This is the exact thought process that you have to change in order to stop the binging cycle. Food should be thought of as sustenance instead of a reward, if you want to stop binging.

2. Think about the consequences of binging! Binging causes weight gain, guilt and shameful feelings. It is toxic and can cause stomach aches, nausea, puking, bloating, skin blemishes and will cause you to binge even more due to all the shame accompanied with binging.

3. Exercise! I 100% agree with you, it’s so much easier to get motivated than it sounds. But my god, the results are incredible. If you feel the need to binge, it’ll be good to exercise instead, it’s the opposite of taking in calories and it’s so very healthy for you. When I feel the need to binge, I like to exercise my abs specifically to feel 'the burn’ and alter my thoughts away from binging desires and instead think of my stomach tightening and toning instead of bloating and expanding. 

4. Drink loads of water! We often misinterpret hunger for thirst. When you feel the urge to binge, drink more water. Enough to fill your stomach - don’t drown yourself in it. But drink enough to fill your stomach and reduce the urge to binge. And of course it’s very healthy for you to drink water. 

5. Drink green tea! Green tea is very healthy for you and will suppress your appetite. Drinking tea and changing your mind set about food will curb your need to binge. 

6. Chew sugar free gum/crushed ice or brush your teeth! Chewing gum and ice will give the sensation of eating and hopefully curb your appetite. Brushing your teeth will cause everything to generally taste terrible.

7. Cook, think and eat small! When you do eat make sure you’re cooking a small meal, or choosing small portions, and do not go back for seconds. To begin, cut the portions you were eating in the past, in half. Start from there, and develop a healthy portion size for every meal. Also, try to eat slowly when you do eat, taking a sip of water after you swallow and always putting your utensil down before you take another bite.

8. Eat to live, don’t live with eat! Very simple perspective to keep. You’re eating for sustenance instead of living to enjoy food. Live to eat once you have more control over your appetite and eating habits.

9. Take your mind elsewhere! Because it can be hard to just curb your appetite, it could be beneficial to try bathing, taking a nap, or keeping yourself busy by other means. Hopefully when you wake up or finish what you were doing you can try to do one of the other things I mentioned above to curb your appetite.

When I’m at my goal weight: