Things that work in fiction but not real life

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

trying new staff. part 02: oil pastel.

yesterday, unplanned, I bought oil pastels. I don’t expect anything. I am in LOVE 💘 First Thistle is just oil pastels and some pencils, second is oil pastel with white spirit and some pencils. It's very fun and easy and fast and fun 💖

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.

toni morrison eloquently discussed this very thing in 2004!

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming

something deeply intimate about being outside early in the morning all alone and seeing the world as she is

Oh he thinks he's so funny

me watching 'gratuitous' sex and violence and ''problematic representation'' in my shows and movies made for adults

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

is that true? can i take a sip?

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

sorry if you dont want me to show my followers. but these are the funniest tags ive seen in my life

"Read Banned Books" a new full page cartoon essay published in The New York Times Arts & Leisure section today.

A good day to reblog this, I just found out The Deep & Dark Blue is on another new ban list, this time in Colorado. Hooray.