I'm really feeling it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Help; my wife keeps sending me texts to “Open your snapchat in private ;) ;) ;)” but it’s just pictures of our dogs.

This is how you introduce a fuckin villain in dnd

Why is this the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

This is literally the funniest video on this entire site

*stops time, jerks off everyone im fighting, time resumes, they all cum at once and while theyre cumming i slit their throats*

couldn’t….you just….slit their throats while time was frozen?

i had no time

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

how the fuck is this even real

it looks like ridely and isabelle are snake and cloud’s fursona’s

If i knew like 5% less about video games and you tried to tell me which of these characters were named Snake and Cloud and which ones were named Ridley and Isabelle i would NOT believe you

describe your aesthetic in four words go

homeade bong im 11

hey whats

up

somebody: If you had a superpower, what would it be?

most people: *some comic book shit*

me:

“What’s your superpower?” “Bethesda glitch.”

Honestly, that’s probably the most overpowered superpower.

WHAT IS THIS

Don’t talk to me unless these are your stats