mom, i met her on tumblr dot com she’s totally normal and sane

Tumblr is my getaway social media. A lot of people who know me personally don’t even know I use it which gives me somewhere to go and think of my thoughts

"I exist in two places. Here, and where you are."

you’re weird can i marry you

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@halleydoedog

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@halleydoedog

take me laser tagging and then push me into a corner and kiss me. then shoot me and walk away.

take me laser tagging and then push me into a corner and kiss me. then shoot me and walk away.

IMAGINE THE OTP

“That’s not fair!”

“Can we please just go?” 

“No, Conner, not until I’ve made my case!”

“What case? The teams are even already,” Conner scowled, irritated.

“But you guys got Artemis!”

“So, you have Conner and Megan,” Dick pointed out, eyebrows raising over dark sunglasses; Wally didn’t even know how he planned to see anything at all in the dark laser tag arena, but he supposed it would be some free points for his team.

“Unfair advantage, she’s an archer! And she’s also my girlfriend, I got dibs!”

“Excuse me?” Artemis cut in, giving him a mildly dangerous look for his poor word choice. He had the decency to look apologetic about it, but he didn’t let that deter him from his case.

“Sorry, babe, but like, come on! I totally need you by my side in laser tag, with my lightning fast reflexes and your ridiculous aim, we’ll be unstoppable!” Wally exclaimed, pumping his fist at an imaginary total victory, and Artemis can’t help but smirk fondly despite herself.

“Advantage it may be, but we cannot simply exclude Artemis from our activities,” Kaldur said evenly, ever the voice of reason.

“It’s okay, Kaldur,” Artemis piped up, flinging the laser gun up to hold it in both hands, and cocking one hip in Wally’s direction. He knew that challenging stance before she even opened her clever mouth, and it was amazing how he wanted to groan in dismay and kiss said clever mouth until it was red at the same time. “Wally’s just afraid to get his ass handed to him by his girlfriend.”

“Babe, please,” Wally snorted, moving closer to her and shooting her a sly look. “You hand my ass to me all the time. You know I like it.” He waggled his eyebrows, and Conner let out a slightly disgusted sound.

“Is it TMI Tuesday already?” Dick asked the room at large, pretending to pull out his smart phone to check the date.

“If you like it so much, then suck it up and take it.”

“For the love of– LET’S GO ALREADY!” Conner yelled, and a good thing too, because the lovebird’s faces had drifted alarmingly close.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two rounds in and Wally West was sick of being on the losing side. One match left, one last chance to redeem themselves. He told Conner and Megan as much while they waited a minute for the points to be reset.

“Alright men!” Wally stated, then backtracked, pointing at Megan. “And babe.” Conner scowled, but Wally plowed on. “This is our last fight! We’ve totally sucked it up, but I know we can win!”

“But, Wally, it’s been so fun anyway!” Megan said, grinning happily. “What’s it matter if we lose all the rounds?”

“I’ll tell you why it matters!” Wally gasped, his voice rising in volume. He pointed outside the little room they were in, to the darkened, space themed room that served as their battle ground. “Kaldur’s the only decent human being… er, Atlantean, out there that won’t rub it unmercifully in our faces for weeks to come!”

Megan laughed; Conner looked unimpressed.

“Oh, Wally, they’ll only do that to you!”

“Yeah,” Conner grunted. “You make it too easy for them.” He shrugged, inclining his head at his martian girlfriend. “We just don’t care.”

“Nope!” Megan chimed in, hoisting her gun up as the ding and countdown timer of ten seconds started to signal the last fight. “Now come on, let’s have some more fun!”

Wally moaned miserably. Good-bye dignity.

~~~~~~~~~

So it all came down to this.

Wally and Artemis. Artemis and Wally. All that remained.

Conner had taken out Kaldur. Dick had taken out Conner. Dick and Megan had taken each other out at the same time, a hilarious incident that had them both laughing uproariously as they exited the arena.

Now it was just Wally against his girlfriend, and so far he hadn’t been able to spot her among all the cheaply painted “space rocks” that served as cover. He pursed his lips, peaking out from the inside of a small tunnel, letting his eyes sweep the area with same sort of calculation he might employ on a mission. The only thing missing was his trusty goggles, but those rested, as they always did, in the back pocket of his jeans, and he was starting to consider snapping them onto his face. Just for a minute.

And what harm could it do, really? It wasn’t like Artemis didn’t already have a totally unfair advantage; they couldn’t very well ask her to take her eyeballs out (ew) to make things fair… so why couldn’t Wally use his goggles to bring things down to an even playing field?

“Just to find her,” Wally reasoned softly to himself, glancing around a moment before lowering his gun and pulling them out discreetly. He didn’t waste time by slipping them on, instead bringing them to his eyes like a magnifying glass, letting his index finger expertly flick it to the setting that showed him exothermic signatures. 

“Bingo,” Wally grinned, his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth when he caught her curvaceous outline on a raised section of rocks that created a sort of arched bridge at the center of the room; a vantage point. Typical archer mindset, he though fondly. “Babe you are in for a hot surprise,” he whispered, chuckling to himself as he pocketed his goggles and began to move.

There was a second slightly raised area diagonal to the bridge Artemis perched upon, and Wally crawled his way over to it silently, coming up into a crouch behind a large “rock” the provided excellent cover in case of retaliation. And he was damn sure there would be a whole lot of that if he happened to miss; he totally wouldn’t, but if by chance he did, his ass was grass, no doubt.

Wally West wasn’t naive enough to mock his girlfriend’s mad skills. He feared them, like a proper boyfriend. But that didn’t mean he never put up a fight.

“Alright, West, here we go,” he murmured to himself, holding the gun close to his chest, heart thudding in his rib cage. “If you screw this up, it’s gloat city for a month.” The thought was enough to sufficiently spur him into action.

Wally steeled himself, let out a wild yell of attack, and stood up from behind his cover, aiming his gun and pulling the trigger several times. 

Artemis wasn’t there.

“What the–?”

“Nice try, babe,” a husky voice said right in his ear.

Wally whipped around, a high pitched shriek of complete surprise bursting past his lips in alarm. He would later be embarrassed about the noise that had escaped his throat so undignified, but at that particular moment he found himself far too preoccupied but the sudden press of a hot, full pair of soft lips snatching his own up in the confusion.

The force of the attack cause him to stumble back against the “rock”, feeling it give just slightly under their combined momentum and weight, but Wally found he couldn’t care less about that. He dropped his gun, reaching up to grab her face between both of his palms, marveling at the skill in which she attacked his mouth. He became putty beneath her within moments, eyes closing and his lips returning the sentiments, pressing back just as harshly, just as skillfully. Her supple lips parted slightly, and he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, shocked that she was being so bold as to invite him in for some hot tongue action when they were out in public like this.

Not that he was complaining at all.

Except, Wally barely got his tongue passed her immaculate teeth before she pulled away unexpectedly, leaving him dazed and slow and mildly more turned on than he should ever be outside the safety of a private space. 

She pulled the trigger on her gun, and Wally’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates in their sockets as Artemis Crock efficiently and without mercy claimed the victory for her team.

“What!?” Wally burst out as victory music played and a flashing sign declared Blue Team the winners. The lights flicked on above them, stinging his eyes, and he rubbed at them before waving his hands wildly, cheeks still flushed from their kissing. “I– what!?”

Artemis, at least, was rather rubicund herself, but those rosy red cheeks were accompanied by a victory flush and a look of pure, unadulterated satisfaction.

Even in his consternation Wally wanted to make out with her asap. Not that he was going to admit that out loud just then.

“You lose, Wallman,” Artemis stated matter-of-factly as their friends came running out, Dick giving her a high five and Kaldur beaming almost smugly. Kaldur, how could you!

“That was so good, Artemis!” Megan laughed, forgetting for just a moment that they were out as civilians and levitating a few inches off the ground before dropping back down. “Congratulations!”

“Don’t congratulate her!” Wally yelped, his voice strained. “She’s not even on our side!”

“Yeah but I think, by the end of it, we were all hoping she’d kick your can,” Dick said thoughtfully, then grinned and shrugged. “Or at least, I know I was.” He offered Artemis another fist bump, which she happily reciprocated.

“Me too,” Conner confessed, rolling his eyes.

“No offense, Wally but… me too.”

They all looked at Kaldur. He glanced at them all uncomfortably, then gave Wally and apologetic smile.

“I thought it would be an amusing end, given your earlier protests.”

“Gah, you guys are terrible! Kaldur I thought you were above this!” Wally bemoaned, looking tragically hurt. Kaldur looked unimpressed.

“It is just a game, my friend.”

“No, you don’t understand, I’ll never hear the end of this!”

“Nope,” Dick said.

“Never,” Artemis added, crossing her arms under her chest. Wally tried not to noticed too much, instead scowling and pointing and accusing finger at her.

“You know you cheated, right? No physical contact!” Wally said, flushing again at the memory of her secured victory. Was it sad that it both infuriated him and turned him on? “I win by default!”

“I don’t think so, fleet feet,” Artemis drawled, then stepped around him and slapped a hand over his right back pocket so abruptly that Wally yelped.

“Woah,” Dick said holding up his hands. “Do we need to leave?”

“Artemis, what–?”

She delved her hand into his pocket and came up with his goggles, dangling loosely from one index finger. She raised one eyebrow in question, and Wally grinned sheepishly.

“Who cheated, exactly?” Artemis prompted.

“Uuuuh,” Wally murmured, rubbing at the back of his neck. Dick cackled, walking over to put his hands on both their shoulders.

“So you’re both a couple of dirty cheaters. Just makes you even more perfect together,” he crooned sweetly, then let go of them and started to walk away, the others following. “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starved.”

“Agreed.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“Can we get pizza?”

Wally and Artemis trailed behind, all of them taking off their laser tag vests and depositing them in a collection box on the way out. Wally cast her a sideways glance.

“You know, that was a pretty dirty trick back there… totally hot, but dirty.”

Artemis handed him his goggles back, pleased with herself. “It was, wasn’t it?” She grinned slyly.

Wally returned the gesture, pulling her flush to his side. “You’re wicked,” he declared, planting a quick kiss to her neck; she hummed in appreciation.

“So are you, goggles.”

The speedster waggled his eyebrows deviously and let his fingers feather across the bared mid-riff.

“Don’t I know it, babe. Let’s find out just how dirty and wicked we both are later, shall we?”

“I can hear you,” Conner snarled.

They both turned red and laughed loudly.

“He feared them, like a proper boyfriend” IM SCREAMING I LOVE THIS RANTY

Still wild that I get to see all these cool things that are done/written into my tumblr post. Love that. So interesting to see some of the things written. Such talent. Very thankful

being mentally ill is so embarrasing how can you explain to a normal person that you had to psych yourself up for half an hour to like get off the floor

what's the matter honey? you've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth

My love language is telling you everything that happens in my day

@ toastedbyeli