I once wrote a 1500 word essay on something I'd forgotten to read in the 40 minutes before class. Including the time it took to read the thing I'd forgotten to read.

I got an A on that paper.

Writing is a skill. Skill is muscle. If you don't use a muscle, it atrophies. If you are a student and you are tempted to use genAI to cheese an assignment, I am begging you for your own sake to not do it.

This is not a moral stance about genAI (which is shit at what it's ostensibly for, and full of lies and evil, and fueled by art theft and burning rainforests, and there is no good reason to ever use it for anything; that's the moral reason for why you shouldn't use it), it is a purely pragmatic stance based on the fact that if you use it you will never learn the single most essential skill that is used in every single workplace.

You will never learn to bullshit.

And if you cannot bullshit, you will not understand when you are being fed bullshit by others.

For your own sake you must learn to do your own thinking, your own bullshitting, because our trashfire society runs on bullshit and for your own good you must become fluent in it, because very few people will bother to translate it for you. It was asinine in the late 90s, and it is asinine today, but it is the central truth of adult society: everything is bullshit, and you need to know what is going on beneath the bullshit, and you need to be able to bullshit back if necessary.

I know that the expectations being placed on you are ever-increasing, and I know that it does not seem rational to put effort into explaining the plot of a Charles Dickens novel to someone who has read the thing 50 times and will read 50 identical essays about it over the weekend. I know you are being handed ever-greater heaps of what is functionally mindless busywork because of an institutional obsession with metrics that don't actually measure learning in a useful way. High school was nightmarish in the 90s and I am fully aware that it has only gotten worse.

Nevertheless, you must try, if only for your own sake. Curiosity is your best hope, and dogged determination your best weapon. Learn, please, if only out of spite.

I was able to get an A on that paper because I was able to skim the reading, figure out what it was about, and bullshit for 1500 words in the space of 40 minutes.

Imagine what you can do if you learn to bullshit like I can bullshit.

For my senior year of AP English, I was assigned reading over Easter break. We were instructed to read The Old Man And The Sea, and save the rest of the short stories in the book for the first week back.

Unfortunately, what I heard was "read everything BUT The Old Man And The Sea."

Double unfortunately: the first day back was a test, on The Old Man And The Sea. Which I had read exactly zero words of. It was, notably, a short essay test. It wasn't multiple choice or fill in the blank. It was designed to require deliberate answers from scratch, entirely out of your own head, with nothing to go on BUT what was in your head.

And in the course of about 45 minutes, I was able to use the questions of the test itself to piece together a vague enough sense of how the story went to bullshit my way through other questions. I gave wide, thematic answers that were extremely light on details, since I did not know any of them, and did not even know this test would be happening until it was in front of me. An essay test for an AP-level English class.

I had a starting point of zero information, and an essay test about the thing I was supposed to have read.

I bullshitted my way to a B+ on it.

On a test I should have gotten a ZERO on.

It's been 16 years since I took that test.

I couldn't tell you a damn thing about The Old Man And The Sea.

But you better fucking believe I still know how to bullshit, and when someone is trying to bullshit me.

The power and utility of knowing how bullshit works CANNOT be overstated. It is one of the most important skills you can ever have.

This is also a good string on this topic.

I once got an A- in an exam for a class that I had attended twice over the course of a semester, using context clues and reason.

I will pay real life money to see Owen and Ben Stiller play Hamlet and Horatio.

I dunno about Hamlet and Horatio, but I’d pay to see them play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. They’ve got the chemistry.

Shakespeare or Stoppard?

Double header with the same cast.

sold

Having screaming fits of rage on occasion where you wave your arms around all higgilty piggilty

^^ stress relief 🐸

When all you value is the power money can buy you, all you can understand is influence through the lens of money. If he can still understand the idea of principle, he views it as a weakness, and cannot conceive of it as a unifying force.

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.

Reminder that, in The Before Times (before the internet was common), almost all of our memes (not that we knew that's what they were) came from commercials or funny TV shows

before TV, they came from radio and print

before that, word of mouth (or perhaps a lot of people witnessing the same memorable action)

and, while some of those memes are still recognizable as memes today, most of them are as opaque as the next generations' memes will be to the previous generations, when there's no context. (Or as, say, Tumblr memes seem to nonTumblr users.)

(I am of the opinion that it's fun to learn the context, instead of just dismissing any other generation--past or future--as inscrutable, or, worse, having no sense of humor.)

@masterkree replied: "Please make a post with examples of vintage memes? I love this kinda stuff. ex: my Dad's favorite meme of all time is still "Come with me if you want to live" "

Oh, this is one I'm going to have to open up to other Old People, because I'm better at identifying them when I see them than I am at thinking of examples XD

The big one I do think of is "Where's the beef?" from some early 1980s Wendy's commercials

"Where's the beef?" was everywhere for a while, even making its way into the 1984 presidential election. I think, when people hear "Where's the beef?" now, they do still have a vague idea where it comes from.

From the late 1960s is "Sock it to me," from the comedy variety show Laugh In. Laugh in didn't coin "Sock it to me," but they certainly used it a lot. A lot. There's a section on the Laugh In wiki listing all the "catchphrases" made popular by the show; I'm pretty sure we'd call any phrase started in one place and used in general pop culture a meme now?

That got a presidential candidate involved, too

An even older example (which, as far as I know, wasn't referenced by a potential president) is the ACME corporation from the 1940s Warner Brothers Wile E Coyote theatrical shorts.

Now, young people today see the ACME gags, and can tell they're supposed to be some sort of joke, to the point that I've seen posts claiming it's an acronym, standing for A Company [that] Makes Everything. This is incorrect.

When the jokes were written, people would have turned to the phone book to find things. With the phone book entries being listed alphabetically, a lot of companies tried to give themselves names that would not only put them near the top of the listings, but also denote quality...whether they were quality or not. This led to companies having names like A1 Supply, with A1 not only being associated with things that are high quality, but also being, y'know, right at the top of the listing in a phone book category.

Acme also fits this scheme, because the word "acme" means "the top, highest point, peak, or summit." You also can't find too many superlatives that will be closer to the beginning of the alphabet.

References to companies (of dubious quality) named acme predated the Wile E Coyote shorts

but the Warner Brothers writers really ramped up the irony, by not only showing that their Acme's products were very much not the summit of anything, but also heavily implying that Coyote was just ordering his stuff from the first listing in the phone book, with no research whatsoever. There's also room to interpret it as being not one single Acme company, but a series of shady companies that are just trying to get the early 20th century version of SEO.

I don't see this quite so much as making a meme that went on to be used by others as I see it as using an existing meme, a cultural reference that viewers would ~get~

Those are the only examples I can think of offhand. I know there are more--and older--example out there!

If I may add, as someone probably from a gen a bit later than yours

France had a lot of quotes from adverts on tv and one liners from movies that I hear people still quote, but the younger generation is baffled about.

My parents know about these quotes. I am in between where i grew up on both tv memes and internet memes so most of the memes I reference, they don't get. Most of the memes they reference, my nephew (who grew up with a tablet in his hands, not on tv) does not get.

I'll give a few examples of stuff from ads we used to say if people are interested

Tu peux te brosser, martine. (Sometimes shortened to tu peux te brosser) means "dream on". From a biscuit advert

Tu pousses le bouchon un peu trop loin, maurice. (Same, name is often omitted) meaning you're taking the piss. From a dessert advert.

Et la marmotte, elle met le chocolat dans le papier alu. (Followed with "mais bien sûr") meaning someone is talking utter shite (mais bien sûr is sarcastic) from a chocolate advert

C'est cela, oui. (Meaning you're not interested in what someone is saying and they're potentially talking shit) from the movie le pere noel est une ordure

Anyway you get the idea. Some of these older movie references had a revival on msn messenger back in the days with the ability to send sound clips as reaction (same way you'd do with a gif nowadays) so people would uploads clips from movies to use in reply. Honestly we should maybe bring reaction sounds back.

Most of these make you sound like an old fart now btw, they're "old refs" as in old references (shortened). People sometimes say "J'ai pas la ref" when they identify something is a meme but they don't have the reference.

Hey if you own a business I need you to repeat after me:

The creator of Phineas and Ferb sorting his M&Ms on tiktok bc that's just what he does. as a middle aged man.

its tagged Stimming and ADHD. "i dont know why [i sorted the M&Ms]" sure you didnt. Autistic ADHD man made a show of autistic ADHD characters.

Peer reviewed ADHD

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

i found it

the original post

i found it

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

Technically if your cat isn’t battling it doesn’t evolve.

That does however give cat owners a strong incentive to not let their cat outside, because realistically any cat that is allowed to roam free is gonna rack up exp until it evolves.

I let my litten out one day and a week later incineroar rips my door off and demands wet food only

Caring for this incineroar for three days before my litten shows up. Who the fuck is this then?

this is the funniest addition anyone’s ever made to this post

I’m reading that new memoir about working at Facebook,”Careless People,” and it’s just fucking insane.

At one point Facebook wanted to be an international hub for organ donation. The “Lean In” lady asked why she couldn’t go down to Mexico and buy a kidney if her four year old needs one. This is literally on p.57. What the fuck else is going to be in this book if that is on page 57

Facebook also had to have protocols for armed raids of its foreign offices because they violated so many laws or failed to pay taxes or comply with other official protocols!! How is this a company that still exists!!!

“Doing jail time in a foreign country is not a reasonable ask from your bosses” — legitimately an argument the author’s husband had to have with her!!

Is this what gilded age readers felt like when they read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”???

Though strangely nothing Mark Zuckerberg does is worse than Sheryl Sandburg, who comes across as an unhinged hypocrite who uses her uncontrollable anger issues to cultivate a reign of terror, I am just… baffled and appalled at how much Zuckerberg does not care about the world outside of Silicon Valley. There have already been two instances of him trying to wear a hoodie to state visits, and not in a Zelenskyy protest way. He just doesn’t like clothes that are not hoodies.

Wow they just abandoned a team member in the middle of an out of control crowd in Indonesia! Horrible company!

Guess who Mark Zuckerberg thinks is the best president of all time?

Hint: it’s Andrew Jackson!

Another mind-boggling line: “I think the point at which you have to explain Nuremberg to the head of the team leading your China entry is probably a red flag.”

Real exchange that happened between book author and the head of the DC office:

This conference room detail seems like too much for satire. But it isn’t!

This book has gotten so insane I can’t even summarize anymore. I can only post photos of this moment where Sheryl Sandberg wears her pajamas on a private jet and tries to make her heavily pregnant employee cuddle in bed with her on a flight back to California from Davos, Switzerland.

Following this, we discover that Sheryl says, “you should have gotten in the bed,” and ices out the narrator. Sheryl also has her assistant Sadie buy $10k of lingerie for her, and $3k of lingerie for herself, after which Sadie has to go to her house to model the lingerie and stay overnight. What the actual fuck.

Woooow FB knew the whole time that Trump was using trolls and spreading disinformation before the 2016 election but because they were making so much money off of it, they were just fine with it. They completely ignored the author pointing out how Duterte had done the same thing.

Direct quote on p 251: “Outrage is a lucrative business for Facebook right now, a month before the election….”

Jaw-dropping.

Guess who lied to Congress about how the Chinese Communist Party would apply its laws and regulations to Facebook?

Mark Zuckerberg!

A lot of this later stuff about Facebook’s attempts to get into China are going a little over my head but I can see why Meta was trying to discredit the book and shut down reviews. She’s whistleblowing violations of US AND international laws. I doubt they’ll see consequences under Trump but YIKES

“By now it feels like the day-to-day at Facebook is lurching from one dismaying shit show to the next.”

SEEMS ACCURATE

This is so evil!!!

I don’t even know how to summarize the particularly heinous things that happened with Facebook in Myanmar and I’d have to take photos of the whole chapter to select bits but BASICALLY

-thanks to a telecoms deal Facebook came preloaded on a lot of mobile phones and often time on FB didn’t count towards your minutes so to many in Myanmar Facebook WAS the internet

-nonetheless FB was not optimized for Burmese, Myanmar was not renders on Unicode, and the terms of service were translated extremely late and passed out on paper flyers instead of posted anywhere. FB in Myanmar had little to no oversight and there was only one contractor in Dublin monitoring hate speech in Burmese even when there were LITERAL RIOTS caused by misinformation posted on Burmese FB

-Myanmar was not a priority for FB leadership so after LITERAL RIOTS they only hired one other contractor who seemed to remove posts from peace activists rather than hate speech or posts calling for violence

-due to what seems like internal politicking against the author, the person she tries to hire to be in charge of Myanmar in the right time zonenever gets hired

-FB higher ups were warned in advance of huge misinformation efforts like troll accounts and takeovers of fan accounts for pop stars but did nothing, leading pretty much directly to what the UN calls genocide and crimes against humanity

Why did it all happen? The author’s conclusion: higher ups “didn’t give a fuck.”

Wow and after all that they fired the author for reporting sexual harassment from her Bush-trained, Trump insider boss

Holy shit was this a harrowing read. These insanely rich people have so much money they are insulated from the consequences of any and all actions and don’t care what countries they smash as long as they can pull money from the wreckage

Matt Stoller from his monopolisation/cartel report; something that has clicked recently is the way that business seeks to maximise profit margin over volume, which often leads to reducing production, brittle supply chains, high prices, and ultimately shortages.

in principle this isn't supposed to happen under capitalism, because someone earning high profit margins should be outcompeted by new entrants willing to earn slightly lower profit margins, until (in the perfect frictionless market) the rate of profit should be whittled down to the rate of risk free return (government interest rates?) plus epsilon (a little bit).

obviously this does happen in reality for a number of reasons, and the Problem of Profits is a fun question to dig into, but the problem of persistently high profits is a more concerning issue and appears to be growing across multiple industries.

antitrust law is supposed to prevent market concentration that leads to this outcome but has been toothless since the '90s, allowing dramatic consolidation across dozens of old industries (groceries, agriculture, pharmacies, television, newspapers) and of course new industries (tech giants).

government regulation often ends up favouring incumbents, but it seems that contractual arrangements between suppliers and industry bodies and buying agents to form tight cartels are a bigger problem: if egg prices are high you might think to start an egg farm, but you need to find someone who will sell you chickens and someone who will buy your eggs, when the industry is using every means at their disposal to cut off market access to new entrants.

and of course if you have access to the gargantuan amount of capital required to attempt a serious challenge to an established cartel, why exactly would you want to start a price war with them when you can instead find some other unprotected industry to buy up and establish a cartel of your own?

capitalism seems to have entered a phase of its development equivalent to WWI, where defensive operations by incumbents are more successful than offense by new ventures, keeping the battle lines frozen in place (presumably the soldiers dying in their millions would be workers and consumers in this analogy).

source (actually written by Basel Muharbash, an antitrust lawyer, and published on Stoller's blog)

[wakes up in a cold sweat] but what were the rations like during the Wars of the Jewels

“Hello friends, it’s Braddoc Meryhill back again with something TRULY INCREDIBLE that my wife’s second-cousin’s neighbor (the one with the gorgeous tomatoes) brought back from the post-house in Bree. I’ve been writing letters and digging through mathom-houses and making the acquaintances of many strange folk for many years, hoping to find someone who could get one of these for me, and I’d begun to lose hope that any still existed! But look! All my work has finally been rewarded!

What I have here is a genuine elvish ration from the First Age, still in its original wrapping and therefore still (theoretically) fit to eat. Now, they say that elves have a way of wrapping food in leaves that makes the contents last indefinitely, but six thousand years is a long time even for them! This might be the closest we’ll ever get to testing that theory, since “forever” isn’t quite measurable, but six thousand years… whoo boy! I still can’t quite believe I’m about to open, and then hopefully taste, a piece of ancient history! My hands are shaking.

I’ll guess that this was probably a Sindarin ration, since it’s wrapped in leaves and the Noldor usually used woven cloth for theirs, but later in that Age the Noldor picked up the leaf technique, so we won’t know for sure until we see what’s inside. I’ll just carefully tug at the little tab in this corner, and… oh! It just unfolds! How clever! To think that I’m the first person to do that since it was first packed! Incredible!

All right, let’s see what we have here:

There are two wafers of a sort of waybread, about eight inches square, and the leaves are wrapped around them so that the bread forms a sort of frame on either side for the other items. A ration sandwich, if you will. I imagine this was to make them easier to stack. It’s been knocked around a bit, so all the corners are crumbling off, but it smells all right to me.

Inside the bread we have four more little square leaf-packets. This first one has… oh, it opens into a little cup-shape, that’s delightful. Why, these look like… they’re grubs! Roasted and salted grubs, I think. Heavens, elves will eat just about anything! I happen to know, through my uncle’s neighbor whose grandmother once met some wood-elves, that little creepy-crawlers like this are still considered a very attractive and nutritious snack. The things I do for history’s sake, my friends.

In the second packet, we have what appears to be… raisins? I can’t tell, but if they are raisins, that would probably make this a Noldorin ration, since at this time the Sindar usually made wine out of honey and forest fruit instead of grapes. They’re still plump, and they smell just fine. The whole thing is just in beautiful condition.

This next packet just has a little powder in it? Let me smell. Oof, that’s strong. It smells very herbal, almost spicy. This must be a refreshing beverage, perhaps some sort of tea. You’ll remember when I opened that ration from the Last Alliance and found a small vial of miruvor? I wonder if the elves of the First Age had such rations as well. This particular ration does not. A pity, but I’m curious about this anyway. I’ll add a little water to it now.

Our last packet is—oh, it unfolds into a little bowl! I’ll never get bored of this ingenuity. There’s a little dried cake inside, and it crumbles between my fingers when I pinch it. It has a savory smell. I remember reading that the elves would carry soups and porridges in this form, so I’ll add a little water to it and see what happens.

That might take a minute to reconstitute, so in the meantime, a little context for those of you unfamiliar with elvish rations. This doesn’t look like much food—hardly even a quick second breakfast—but elves need very little compared to either hobbits or big folk. This ration could have lasted several days in lean times, but ideally an elf-warrior would consume a full ration every day they were on the march. In camp, they would communally prepare and eat fresh meals. Each warrior had a personal meal-kit with a little plate and utensils that folded up like a compact mirror—you can see mine in the case behind me. It’s very precious, so I don’t use it.

Oh, I just noticed that there’s steam coming from the beverage and the soup! That’s remarkable! They’ve formulated it so that it heats up when you add water to it! Wow! I’ve never seen anything like that before. I imagine it would be a great morale-booster in the field. Well, that must mean it’s ready, so let’s dig in. I’ll start with the drink.

Hmm. It is very strong indeed. I’m getting a hint of exotic spices and an earthy, roasty flavor… it must be coffee! It was said to be extremely beloved by the Noldor, and they traded for it through their ill-fated alliance with the Easterlings—incredible, just incredible, I’m holding not only a cup of history, but a cup of inter-kindred politics as well! That also gives us a better hint as to when this ration was made. It was likely made in preparation for what became known as the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, the “Battle of Unnumbered Tears” in our tongue, to be carried by a member of the Union of Maedhros. If that is the case, it’s even more amazing that this ration survived at all. I could study nothing but its history for the rest of my life and still not know how it came out of Beleriand and into my hands.

This waybread seems like it would go well with the coffee. Ah, it does seem to be a little stale, but no worse than a loaf of ordinary bread exposed to the air for a day or so. Hmm. Very crunchy. Almost biscuit-like. Not much flavor, but it is packed with nuts and seeds. Definitely nutritious, if not very exciting. Ooh. It is much better when dipped in the coffee.

Moving along to the soup, since it seems to be fully moistened. And piping hot, I’ll never be over that. It doesn’t smell rancid, thankfully. Just like a thick, chickeny, vegetable-y stock, with some bits floating in it. It seems they threw a bit of everything into a pot, cooked the devil out of it, spread it out to dry, and then pressed it into cakes. It’s quite salty, but inoffensive. It doesn’t seem like much, but again, I’d imagine that a warrior on a winter campaign would welcome anything hot.

The raisins are definitely raisins, I’m sure. Wouldn’t be out of place in a scone at my tea table. Not much else to say about them, except that I’m astonished that they’re so fresh, just like the rest.

Well, my friends, I’ll admit that I’ve been dreading the grubs, but I won’t put it off any longer. It isn’t the way we do things, but surely the elves know what they’re about!

Oh dear. I can see their little legs. The things I do, friends. The things I do.

Euuurgh. It’s crunchy. I am picturing nothing but feelers and eyeballs.

Hm. Swallowing it took an extra try, but the whole experience was not as bad as I was anticipating. A bit like a salted pumpkin seed, with a little bit of a… hm… a buggy flavor is the only word for it. I’d better try another one to see if I can get a better perspective on it.

Hmm. They’re rather addictive. I’m still a bit repulsed, but I can’t stop eating them. I’d love to chat with an elf about this—for instance, I’d love to know how they got the idea in the first place. I know I wouldn’t just pick a bug off the ground and decide to eat it, but perhaps that’s just my hobbitish sensibilities speaking.

Well, we’ve come to the end of this ration, and I feel that I’ve closed a chapter of my own life. This is perhaps the oldest thing ever eaten by a mortal, and perhaps even by anyone! I can now say that I’ve put the claim of imperishable elvish food-storage techniques to the test, and I’d have to say that the rumors and tales are, if not proven, at least plausible. Yes! The elves really do wrap their rations in such a way that they keep fresh “forever”! That is unless I’ve been sold a counterfeit, in which case I shall take my golf-club and find the person responsible.

Thank you for all your kind and curious responses up to now! I’m not sure I’ll be able to surpass this First Age, Noldorin, Union of Maedhros army ration in the future, but I hope you will stick around to find out! As always, I remain your intrepid friend Braddoc Meryhill, unless this ration turns on me sometime in the night!”

this is INCREDIBLE

I was reading this post over on the Ao3 subreddit this evening and I think it brings up a lot of good points about how fandom, as a community, has been shifting in its treatment towards fanfic writers.

I've seen posts going around on tumblr that have approached this topic as well--that fanworks (particularly fanfic) should be created from the perspective of a perfect vessel that can pour, pour, pour out and never needs to be poured into. You should do it for the "right reasons" and not complain because "no one owes you interaction". But what is fandom if not interaction?

Writing fanfic is one of the most time-consuming labors of love that makes up a fandom. (That's not to say other fanworks aren't labors, time-consuming, or made with love. We're talking about fanfic). Your 300k+ enemies to lovers slowburn porn-with-plot fic that has reshaped the entire way you approach a specific pairing or media has been made with time, effort, for free, with the intention to be shared with you.

And in the state of current fandom, it has been made with the expectation to receive nothing back. Is that fair? Maybe. Silent readers exist and a kudos on Ao3 is at least an acknowledgment that some people read and enjoyed. But does it hurt to leave a comment? Even a heart emoji or an "I loved this, thank you for sharing!" is enough to at least start a dialogue, a conversation, form a connection.

That's not even to mention the isolation of fandom interactions to private Discords; time after time I've heard from fanfic authors who found out that there have been discord servers or twitter groupchats where their fanfic has been discussed, loved, and lauded at length--but never once was the author told this! Ao3 has comments for a reason. Many authors link their tumblr profiles or emails in their bio for people to reach out to them.

It's just a sorry state to see it go.

There are things I have written for my own consumption or my own sake. I did not share them.

If someone is sharing a piece, it is because they want other people to look at it.