this is absolutely the best thing i have read all day
After 5 years it’s super slow
It’s got proprietary tires that don’t fit on anything else and shred themselves every hundred miles
also it’s only compatible with about 40% of roads
Radio has no speakers and only works with specialized bluetooth headset
There’s only one button to control everything on the center console and a tiny ass touchscreen
You need to buy a special accessory if you want to open the door and sit down at the same time.
Costs more than your house and will outsell everyone
No one questioning why it’s got Windows?
SHUT THE HELL UP
sometimes I’m like “my therapist doesn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know” but then I remember that I used to eat scrambled eggs every single morning because I hated them but I hated them less than I hate all other breakfast food on weekdays (don’t @ me waffles are a weekend food and they Do Not start me on a productive path) and my therapist said, “why not eat a lunch food?”
and I said, “explain”
and she said, “you know you’re allowed to eat whatever food you want in the morning. you are not bound by law to the traditional american breakfast.”
my father’s insurance pays a hundred dollars an hour for a woman to give me permission to eat a pb&j at six in the morning
i can tell i’m in a fragile state of mind bc this meme made me legitimately sad for a fictional centipede
I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.
sometimes it just ends up being something like
ITS BACK
lord
Y’ALL NEED JESUS
Please stop reblogging this post
This post made my water break
In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.
WHAT
reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die
i aint risking being a weak ass ghost
Reblog for a +2 to visibility to cats when nothing else can see you
Local crack czar, nicknamed ‘Drift Samurai,’ uses suicidal driving techniques at a recent drift event to shit on everybody and win 1st place. And now, sports. BM October 2000
the drift samurai himself
‘Kobe’ is for accuracy, ‘Yeet’ is for distance.
Yeet: str
Kobe: dex
when a gamer dies they go to the big discord server in the sky
I was scrolling through my dash and I read a post by Seth Everman that said, “I know that you guys don’t have very much lobster knowledge, but it upsets me to see my mutuals reblogging pictures of the social media lobster… he is obviously very overweight and unhealthy. Lobsters are not meant to live on land and should not be walked around on a leash! Lobsters are not pets and this lobster is obviously suffering”
u say ur 6'6.. but are u?? are u really???
well ok???? here’s me next to the entrance to my apartment??? why the heck would i lie about my height??? I DON’T ENJOY BUMPING MY HEAD INTO EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BUILT FOR HOBBITS
your WHAT
here.......for you
thank you
Have you ever just randomly cried because you’ve been holding shit in for too long?
Every week
at least three times a week
I definitely read this wrong…I was gonna suggest more fiber in y'all diet