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brain rot in a pretty dress

@moonlightperseus / moonlightperseus.tumblr.com

abby | 22 | she/her | tracking #usermoonlight | who knows what bullshit i’m thinking about but goddamn am i gonna be annoying about it | terfs do not interact | Icon ID: a picture of Walker Scobell as Percy Jackson overlayed onto a purple & blue sky with stars and clouds, at the top right there is a crescent moon and in the left of the image, tucked behind Percy, is the sillouette of a trident. Header ID: the background of pink & purple clouds are matching to the one in the icon, overlayed with Maddie and Evan Buck 911 on fox smiling at each other and an additional overlay of the phases of the moon at the top /End ID
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loserdiaz

no but i can't stop about eddie finding queering the map and being overwhelmed by the amount of stories that resonate with him.

it starts with buck, because of course it does.

buck comes into the station one day, rambling about this site he found online. he's still figuring out bisexuality for himself and has been going down a rabbit hole ever since, reading endless articles and reddit stories and experiences told from so many people.

and something about it, about this particular site, catches eddie's attention. he really can't stop thinking about it, wondering if people from el paso would have any of those pins. if anyone from the place he grew up in, was raised in, ever felt like him.

he can't stop wondering if maybe he was never as alone as he thought he was.

when he gets home, he decides to look for himself— it takes him a while. there's too many black pins and he doesn't quite know how to navigate the huge map on his screen. it takes him a few minutes to get the hang of it.

but when he does— oh, when he does.

right there in el paso, people from the same streets he once rode his bike in, are sharing his experiences. fellow soldiers in the same base eddie trained at.

eddie reads these sacred, secret little messages and feels his heart expand more and more with every each one of them.

some of them makes him laugh and chuckle, teary eyed but amused, like "even the army has gays," and "from one gay cowboy to another."

others, nake him falter. make his bretah hitch inside his chest. make something beautiful and fragile and orecious uncurl from the deepest depths of his soul. make him feel seen in a way he isn't sure he's quite ready to.

messages like— "you're not the only one," and "you'll be okay." "the heaven the people from this town speak of, is not a heaven i wanna be sent to." "i should've told him when i had the chance." "stuck in a warzone, thinking about how i wasted so much time and now i might not make it home to him."

messages that hit a little too close to home. from soldiers still in the closet, struggling to accept themselves and living a lie.

messages from dumb teenagers, scared of the future— just like eddie had been once.

messages from people braver than he ever could be, sharing the stories of how they came out to their families and moved across the country to be able to live their truest selves.

eddie spends hours and hours just reading post after post, goingbthrough as many lins as he can and drinking them in as a dying, thirsting man in the middle of the driest desert. he reads until the light from the comouter makes his head hurt and his eyes burn everytime he blinks.

at the end, before closing the tab, he decides to put on his own note.

📍not sure if I'll ever be ready to say it out loud, but I love him. i'm too late. I've lost my chance. this changes nothing, my heart is still in his hands.

he clicks on add and feels the tiniest amount of weight lifting from his shoulders.

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god. out of all the dynamics of the ratgrinders/high five heroes, i did not expect it to be that lucy and kipperlily were close. why do all her other party members seem to have a disdain for her? ruben sided with ivy and oisin just to make kipperlily mad. and that was before they ever went to the mountains of chaos, presumably when ruben was still in his “jack johnson” phase

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