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the secret files of FRANK BLUE

@buenosmuertos / buenosmuertos.tumblr.com

I'm comin' for ya, Satan.
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Century Link asked for feedback after I dropped out of a text convo

“BE MORE FUCKING TRANSPARENT. Nothing turns me off more than a company that says "This is the price including everything, with no hidden fees" and then slowly mentions toward the end of a process all of the additional costs, extra deals, and other bullshit. It makes me lose trust. And then asking for my SSN to run a credit report before I have even decided if I WANT your services? That's fucked up. Your company and other companies are still running on the ideas of old salesmanship where you use peer pressure, string customers along, and lock people in with cancellation fees that make people scared to leave. You need to learn how to appeal to millennials or you are going to die out. You know why Netflix is doing so well? Great service, upfront, doesn't try to get you to upgrade or "Netflix+ Premium for an additional $4.99" and they don't have any bullshit fees. In regards to my messaging experience, your chat person had me at the beginning and it was only downhill from there. They got desperate and it was obvious, then they tried to lock me in for a install date when I wasn't even ready. That's some take-advantage-of-old-confused-people shit that doesn't work on people under the age of 40 these days. You guys keep it up and you're gonna die out when your aging customers do. All of this said, we might still go with you (because Comcast is still the worst), but give us time. There's an episode of King of the Hill where Hank Hill gives his customers honest info and lets them decide on their own time, and in the end, he sells way more propane units by the end of the month. That could be you.”

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I am thoroughly and genuinely enjoying this weird trend in Soundcloud rappers singing about self-degradation, wasting their life on the internet, and sometimes anime. Also, half the time the graphics and representation is horrible, but it works for whatever reason. Where was this music back in high school?

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"I think I'll make a drink, why not."

We have a lot of triple sec people have given to us. Maybe I can make a drink with that. (Googles) Huh I'm missing just one ingredient for all of these...oh! I can make a kamikaze. Oh its a shot. Well why not, I always hear about these. Pours vodka Pours triple sec ...where is the lime? I thought I had lime. Well now the vodka and triple sec are tainted. Grenadine? Pours grenadine. *takes shot* Well that was awful

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the secret life of pets

"Oh wow new York right? Here are your 3d animals and pop music. Don't forget celebrity voices! We fucking hate you people and you're going to pay to see this because fuck you this is all your deserve. And new York what a city! Come see our sequel in another year you pieces of shit." -the secret life of pets

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Phone retailers

Fucking creepy and weird. I went into T-mobile to find out the process of cancelling my plan, and it turned into a 20 minute process of them trying to get me to finance my phone, and ganging up in groups of 2 or 3 to pressure me into something that wasn’t going to happen. Eventually I stepped outside to make a call about what I wanted to do. I called the company I’m planning to switch to (who picked up within the first ring and didn’t go to a hour long automated phone system, which is a huge reason I’m switching) and after they basically confirmed the process, I walked back in. I find the person I was talking with and say “Thanks for talking it over with me, but I gotta think about it more before I buy”. All of a sudden a look of panic crosses her face, twisted in confusion. “Wait- why? What happened?” ALL OF A FUCKING SUDDEN. EVERY. EMPLOYEE TURNS TO ME. "Why did you change your mind? What happened? Who did you talk to?” I didn’t know what to say, and I felt my face turn into and awkward uncomfortable smile. “Uhhh....Don’t worry about it.....” And then I walked out.

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As a person who is not good at running (consistently, correctly, and frequently), I feel good about how far I ran today! I hate exercise and I just do it because I have to. I prefer running outside because it’s cooler, there’s usually cool stuff to look at, and eventually i get to a point where I’m so far away from home that it would take 3x to get back by walking so I might as well just run back.

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Sorting through those old home videos and noticing my parents had a lot of backyard bbqs.

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I am forever trapped in one of the most prolonged and tortuous projects I’ve ever been on and I need to rant somewhere. Hey we need a timelapse video. no parameters it just need to look “fucking amazing” here’s some go pro footage. theres over 250gb worth and it’s all upside down and in mixed folders with no names and will take 2 days to download We need this tomorrow morning for “the news” and that is all the information I can give you, if you can’t that’s fine but we need it to be about 2 and a half minutes, or 15 seconds.

here’s a 3 minute song, can you edit this to fit the time. again i won’t say how long the video needs to be.

also the client hasnt watched any of the video

oh wait they just did, they said the video is in the wrong order. probably because they didn’t actually communicate with you about how complex foundation repair works, but thats okay because i told you not to worry about that when we started this project

okay cool you made the edits, the client is very busy and cant sit down to watch a 45 second video for their own business so we’ll just have to wait til they get around to it

1 MONTH LATER

hey they said they want the video to be a minute long, so that video you timed to a specific beat needs to get longer somehow and you need to add more footage that doesnt exist. also they said that the carbon fiber strips are applied before the wood form set you fucking dumbass artist why dont you know the order that one attaches a houses structure to the re-plastered foundation in the case of water damage nearing load bearing walls you shitfuck go kill yourself and make me a commercial video somehow without me actually caring how it looks. also all the things i told you to to make the video look cool, they don’t like.

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I can’t wait til they see the invoice and go WOW, WHY DID THIS COST SO MUCH IT’S JUST A VIDEO.

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FINALLY ORDERED AN SSD DRIVE

Holy shit, I can’t wait. For the last two years, my computer has been depressingly slow and it’s really affected my work speed and motivation. I should have done this much sooner, but in about a week I’ll have a much faster computer!

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I know it’s small compared to everything else, but this is the signature of Barack Obama and Donald Trump side by side.

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I found this picture while sorting my hard drive. It’s from when I was in LA in a part I haven’t really been to during the evening. I stumbled upon this really, really fancy mall and walked in (like Will Smith’s kids would shop there nice). I was like, hey where’s the gamestop?

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