the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius
the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.
Or what you are going to be a genius about.
You have a big work project?
Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.
"The Stoppables"
there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~
I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:
the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog!
caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks.
if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else
if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims)
the archive/tagged trick is a lifesaver!!
a caveat on op’s caveat is that if your blog/the blog you want to search is older than [whenever they forced everybody into the tumblr.com/user change], most of these tricks will still work whether or not they have enabled “custom theme.”
tumblr works it’s just a closely guarded secret
Heh.
as a kid, I walked into a closet, saw an enormous snake, and then walked out. I walked up to my dad, as you do, and said "dad there's a huge snake in the closet"
so he smiled smugly, grabbed his knife (I think it was a machete?), walked off, and then I heard him scream followed shortly by three panicked slams
it turns out he didn't actually think he'd find a huge snake in there, but it sure was there, and he sure did chop it into three pieces
I wish I could believe you mean "as a father" but I know you mean "as a man"
if it makes you feel better, I'll call him daddy while I'm enjoying him as a man
I don't think that makes me feel better but thank you for sharing anyway
reblog to give the person you reblogged it from a good night’s sleep (maybe)(please)(I’m begging the universe)
Reblog with your score
HOW?
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
You should probably ask for a raise.
omfg im laughing so hard i fell asleep on my keyboard last night and i just found this
PAGE 1 OF 184
One entire row of ‘f’s takes 10 seconds to type. There are 45 lines per page, so you take 450 seconds per page. You claim to have typed 184 pages, which would take a total of 82800 seconds, or exactly 23 hours. You are a liar
You forgot that she was holding down the key. This accelerates the rate at which the f’s appear; once the ‘f’s appear at a rapid rate, it’s about 3.4 seconds per line. Also, 45 lines per page is generous - I counted and given that the page is Times New Roman, 12pt font, it’s about 41 lines.
This means that it’s 139.4 seconds per page, times 184 is 25649.6 seconds, and that rounds out to about 7.1 hours, or 7 hours 7 minutes.
It’s perfectly reasonable for her to have slept!
we need to give this tweet more credit for im pretty sure coining “die mad about it”
checks out, thank you melanie
i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father
“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”
"You should be at the club" Direct exposure to the club would kill me instantly
"You should be at bar trivia night" This I cannot deny
There’s most likely a reason why they have to do this so in sync, and I am desperate to know
because all cats have a heightened sense of justice and would leave their post if someone else got their food first.
synchronized swimming vibes
