forthelasttime-thatisnotmyname reblogged

weatheredlaw

i taught swim lessons and preschool, do y’all wanna hear the most ridiculous white kid names i’ve ever seen?

weatheredlaw

i’ve met at least a dozen children named some form of “jackson” but the best ones were “jaxon” and “jakson”
a parent who i really liked named her son “jaycob” because she was worried people wouldn’t pronounce it correctly. when someone accidentally spelled it “jacob” she would loudly and obnoxiously ask “WHO’S JAH-KOBE?”
two siblings named “thor” and “tiara”
i once had a classroom with four girls named “brooklyn”
if you sent me a list of popular boy names, i could guarantee i’ve met every single one of them
twin girls named paisley and brinley
a girl named reader
a boy named rocko
keighleey
kayde
kolten
if it can start with a “k” instead of a “c” i have met that child
brittalynn
i taught a swim class with three girls named “london” but only one of them was spelled “lundon” and i know my boss did that to me on purpose
a couple named all their kids after places in arizona: tatum, payson, and hayden
and speaking of hayden, i’ve seen: haydon, heighden, and heydon
according to some white people, there are sixteen different ways to spell mckenzie
lakelyn, blakelynn

a-daks

this is white culture

spamsterlady

I had a student named Branch.

curlicuecal

I once had pair of siblings named Hunter and Tanner. I really wanted them to have a sister named Fawn.

I had a Clark and Ophelia that were a bit unusual in the naming department.

And I had every single imaginable version of a girl’s name staring with “Mad-“ and every single imaginable version of a boy’s name ending in “-aden”

ceekari

Mom’s a teacher. So far her best/worst white kid names:

“Damion with a Y” according to the parent. Daymion? Damyon? Nope. Damiony. The Y is silent, said parent
A girl named Free. Maybe not that bad on its own, but the girl’s last name was Love
A boy named Calup because his mom couldn’t spell Caleb

curlicuecal

the y is silenty

itmakesyousorry

saw a white lady who had a poodle named Leigheaux (Leo…)

sybbi

Someone named their daughter Typhani (Tiffany)

somewhereinthefog

I am loving all of these except I am confused by someone thinking Clark is an odd name? Isn’t that relatively common?

To add: my mom had a student named Knife and another student named Death. And she had teacher friends that had “Lemonjello” and “Oranjello” not pronounced how you would assume. Ps. I went to school with a girl named TopRamenisha.

forthelasttime-thatisnotmyname reblogged

hairbowsandarrows

pikeisaman

This was top tier comedy in middle school let me tell you

this is still top tier comedy today

forthelasttime-thatisnotmyname reblogged

theintangiblewritten

engagement rings ranked by their ability to break someone’s nose

a pretty standard arrangement for engagement rings. a raised stone is better than nothing. 3/10

a lovely, simple, elegant wedding band. a classic anybody would be pleased to get married with. useless in a fight. 0/10

huge. tacky. kinda pretty tho. but look at that raised diamond in the center. you could easily break someone’s tooth with this. 7/10

also huge and tacky. at first glance you’d think the rounded edge might not cause much damage but look at how those rows of diamonds are raised in the second view. you could really rip up someone’s face. 9/10

this one is almost elegant. no sharp edges, but it’s solidly built. you would cause more damage with the ring on than off, which is a solid basis for choosing an engagement ring. 5/10

a lovely design, i enjoy open filigree. however im not sure how said filigree would stand up to the impact of being slammed into someone’s face. 2/10

the twisting design is pretty, but im not entirely sure that socking someone in the jaw wouldnt break off those stones. it looks somewhat reinforced but do you really want to leave the Punching Power of your engagement ring up to chance? i wouldnt. two raised stones tho. 6/10, pending experimentation

HAHAHAHA holy shit. thats Five raised stones, with reinforced prongs, for maximum damage at any angle. i highly recommend this ring both for its sapphire centerpiece and its capacity for causing pain. 10/10

there’s not even a stone, its just gold which aint exactly the hardest metal in the world. just fucking stay home if you’re not going to take this seriously.

optimysticals

*jeweler voice*

That filigree you gave 2/10? much sturdier than the filigree tacky rings… Trust me. Those are super hollow and light on the settings so that they aren’t too heavy or expensive. (and so they don’t roll on your finger)

Also worth noting:

White gold = sturdier than yellow gold (which is why most prongs are in white)

Now, if you want a ring that’ll hold up to socking someone in the nose, may I suggest 10kt white gold (hardest of gold options, sturdier than silver, and more reasonable than platinum)

See how thick all that metal is? It’s not going to cave in on you.

And you can do this with it:

Because nothing says punching a nazi in the nose like a diamond/sapphire/ruby encrusted Captain America ring…

insanityandimpossiblethings

read this again but imagine its Peggy Carter picking her engagement ring

optimysticals

yes. good.

forthelasttime-thatisnotmyname reblogged

a-humble-gremlin

s-brant

who else wants to keep drake the fuck away from millie bobby brown?

for starters, just so you have some background, drake is currently dating an 18 year old girl he met when she was 16, he is 31.

also here’s a tweet from drake himself talking about fucking young girls

and noww let’s talk about how he’s preying on Millie.

At the Emmys, when asked about her friendship with him, she said he regularly texts her things like “I miss you” and that they’re very close, also, that they talk about boys/dating advice. He is a 31 year old man and this is a 14 year old girl. He’s talking to her about boys and dating and sending her “I miss you” texts, there’s a word for this. It’s called grooming. (Grooming is when someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purposes of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation or trafficking. Children and young people can be groomed online or face-to-face, by a stranger or by someone they know - for example a family member, friend or professional.)

He met his current girlfriend at sixteen talked and flirted with her, groomed her like this, and is now in a relationship with her. It is so disgusting to see people claiming this is normal, the industry she is in is highly pedophilic and she’s a child. This is not normal or okay, a 31 year old grown man has no business texting a 14 year old girl like this.