That death drop was a little weak, but besides that ugh yaaaaaas

*since learned it’s called a dip and I shouldn’t get it twisted

something: *exists*

me: hmm okay

something: *is pink*

me: oooooh yes add to fuckin cart baby

Hairy

I have a l thought that I need to write down.

Today for the first time I posted a picture on instagram that very prominently featured me shirtless. 

I’m kinda uncomfortable being shirtless. When I was a kid I was hairier than everyone I knew. I started being hairy when I was like 11, started shaving my face when I was 12, and proceeded to shave my chest from middle school to freshman year of highschool. I started growing facial hair that was presentable when I was a sophomore and stopped shaving. Fast forward to now; I know what to do with it. 

Honestly now I love it. I think it looks nice on me. I just don’t take pictures of it.

Some other people love it too. Whenever I’m on a queer dating app aimed towards men, a lot of dudes comment about how hairy I am. Most of my photos include me clothed just serving some casual face like I do. But one is showing a little sumin sumin in a crop top. Which is fine. But Grindr is like “I love the fur” or “damn you’re hairy ;)” sometimes and it’s a bit jarring. I really internalized how sexual I view my stomach, specifically because it is more hairy than people around me. Which isn’t all bad. I think the fact that I’m really hairy is pretty hot honestly. I’d be into it. 

But it feels like I can’t be shirtless and not be sexualized. At least I’m allow to not wear a shirt.

I’ve worn a crop top and had multiple people put their hands on my stomach and comment on how hairy I am. If I don’t button up a shirt all the way, people might comment about it. I work at a gay bar and I’ve had plenty of people put their hands on me without me saying it’s okay (keep in mind I’m working and can tell people to get the fuck off me, but can’t leave the station I’m at).

So with this said, I posted a photo where I wasn’t wearing a shirt today. And I’m flexing because ya boi has been going to the gym like five times a week since january because I realized it helps a little with being anxious and depressed. And some people have made comments. But mostly I felt like my friends just were like “ya lookin good”. So the moral of the story is I feel like I was comfortable with showing my hairy body today without getting caught up in feeling bad about being overtly sexual. It’s not that sexual. It is a little. And that’s fine too.

But mostly I look good.

(Go like it. I’m like 7 away from 100.)

me: *sees glitter*

glitter: ✨✨✨

me: :0 !!!!

Happy pride month, the LGBT+ community owes everything we now have to trans women of color