사랑해

i am a loser in ways you can’t even wrap your head around

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

ive been standing with my arms behind my back ponderously like at a museum

wait wait you’ve been pondering at the museum? I’ve just been jerking off there

white bread squished into tiny ball added to burger king menu for one cent

only thing i know for certain is that if "breaking bad" took place during modern times, jesse would've used his cash to buy a drone and there would've been a sick ass sequence filmed from drone perspective and one episode cold open would've been all scary and sinister and it would end with an ominous shot of the drone laying all crushed and fucked up on the floor to imply harm done to jesse. and it would be really sad

you have no idea what a pro i am at viewing images

the catholic church just called and said the 7 deadly sins are now gooning, price gouging, FOMO, binge watching, ragebait, mukbangs, and reaction videos with just someone in the corner pointing at the content and nodding along

throwing a grenade and then immediately throwing myself on top of it to save everyone

i completely miss the grenade and everyone in the room dies including me

Democrat political strategy

there should be more hours between 6 and 10pm. like even just two more hours. for my assorted hobbies & activities

no doubt about it traveller, you're looking for the clitoris. here, i'll mark it on your map

went to scared.com and they said youre a regular. they said youve got prey animal rank.

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

yknow what chilchuck deserved that sex ed talk maybe if someone told him about safe sex earlier he wouldn't of ended up divorced with 3 kids

just choked on my drink

get in babe we're 30 year old women we're having formative experiences that our teenage years denied us