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meanderings

@tealstarsong / tealstarsong.tumblr.com

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jude law gets a symbolic pussy installed and then gets fingered. watch existenz.

an integral part of the pussy installation is being symbolically fucked in the ass by willem dafoe

both of these events are in the first half hour and aren't even close to being the most insane things that happen in this movie

not to be a cliche but I saw this movie at 13 and it permanently altered my brain chemistry and also transed my gender. watch existenz

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foone

is that why I'm trans? but yeah. you should watch it.

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yuribeam

for whoever needs to hear this:

starting HRT doesn't have to be a huge momentous all-or-nothing decision. you can just try it like you would an antidepressant you've been informed of the risks of.

there won't be any immediate irreversible changes overnight. you can always stop, change your dose, change your delivery system, decide it's not the right time. you can even microdose if you want to.

you don't have to tell anyone. you don't have to announce it if you don't want to.

stop waiting for a perfect time in your life because it won't come.

stop waiting to reach a mythical level of certainty that never comes to anyone, for anything.

you've been thinking about it long enough. if you have the opportunity, just give it a shot. you're worth the courage it takes to make a change in your life.

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me as a child when I realized my parents will punish me by withdrawing all parental love and affection: FINE! I don't WANT any! I literally don't want anyone to look at me or hug me ever again! I wouldn't accept it if offered! I don't need any of you! I don't need to be loved by ANYONE!!!

me thinking back on it now: it was the correct thing to not give in to such blackmail. But I did need love, like all children do, and nobody thought I didn't, no matter what I said back then. I shouldn't have been in a situation where someone tried to control me by taking away basic care from me. I stubbornly tried not to have needs but nobody was fooled. I was emotionally abandoned and dealt with it the best way I could back then. I needed actual parents, not those sadistic clowns.

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How abusive childhood teaches you to stay in abusive relationships:

  • you have to be obedient and submissive in your childhood if you don’t want to get beaten, you’re taught this is normal in life, so why should you doubt it when it happens in your relationship?
  • you’re supposed to care about everyone else more than yourself, you’re taught to provide comfort and be minimally or completely non-demanding of other family members, always put yourself last, and this is exactly what abusive partner will demand of you as well, how would you fight it if you’re taught this is just your place in life?
  • your appearance, interests, skills, achievements, and faults are constantly exposed to criticism, insults, humiliation and ridicule in abusive childhood, and you’re taught it’s normal, how are you supposed to fight it when it happens in a relationship?
  • you’re humiliated and ridiculed for seeking intimacy or try to express yourself in your childhood, how would you know it’s okay for you to desire understanding, consideration, reassurance and intimacy in your relationship?
  • if you’re used to being hit, humiliated, and having your objections to it ignored, or even worse, minimized and punished by even worse violence, how are you supposed to defend yourself when it happens in a sexual situation? how would you be able to know it’s wrong for another person to harm you if your parents have been doing it, and they supposedly love you?
  • if you’re taught to always be grateful that things aren’t worse, always compare yourself to someone who is tortured worse, how are you ever supposed to reach out and get help for being abused? how are you supposed to know when your situation is really, really bad? There’s always going to be someone somewhere in the world tortured worse, and this becomes a reason for you to suffer in silence.

Abusive parents are direct cause of abusive relationships, if your boundaries aren’t destroyed and your sense of what’s acceptable and to be tolerated in your close relationships skewed to allow abuse, you have much easier time rejecting abusive relationships later in life. 

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One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 

It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!

So if you didn’t know that…now you do

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rogha

do you know that i think of this post every time i can’t sleep op. what mythbusters did for you, you have done for a great many others. 

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cypopps

Do autistic kids "grow out" of their autism? Why does it sometimes seem like there are so few autistic adults?

For Autism Acceptance Month, I covered this topic in this comic to help explain this disconnect! YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Twitter

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If you want some idea of how much autistic people struggle to understand allistic people when they don’t say exactly what they mean, take a cooking recipe and replace all units of measure with “enough but not too much”. For example:

  • enough but not too much white sugar
  • enough but not too much butter
  • enough but not too many eggs
  • enough but not too much vanilla extract
  • enough but not too much flour
  • enough but not too much baking powder
  • enough but not too much milk
  • preheat oven to hot enough but not too hot
  • bake for long enough but not too long

Even someone who’s experienced with cooking would probably struggle to follow that recipe. Now imagine if they had no experience cooking and had no idea what these ingredients are.

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teaboot

“But you made something vaguely edible so it must not be THAT bad” :)

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Ive noticed recently that my generation has... no concept of what the various economic classes actually are anymore. I talk to my friends and they genuinely say things like "at least i can afford a middle class lifestyle with this job because i dont need a roommate for my one bedroom apartment" and its like... oughh

You guys, middle class doesnt mean "a stable enough rented roof over your head," it means "a house you bought, a nice car or two, the ability to support a family, and take days off and vacations every year with income to spare for retirement savings and rainy days." If all you have is a rented apartment without a roommate and a used car, you're lower class. That's lower class.

And i cant help but wonder if this is why you get kids on tumblr lumping in doctors and actors into their "eat the rich" rhetoric: economic amnesia has blinded you to what the class divides actually are. The real middle class lifestyle has become so unattainable within a system that relies upon its existence that theyve convinced you that those who can still reach it are the elites while your extreme couponing to afford your groceries is the new normal.

Middle class is being able to live 3 months comfortably without a paying job.

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clpolk
  • listen if you don't have an income that means
  • your shelter cost including utilities is 30% or less (I realize that I have eliminated so many of you just with this one thing)
  • you never EVER have to put off going to the dentist for your routine cleaning
  • you've been watching your savings grow every month and you haven't had to dip into it for more than a year now
  • you have a car, and it's either fairly new or a car you cherish and so you have held onto it because ohana means family and it's in good shape and it suddenly not starting is annoying but not a reason to start a go fund me
  • and you go on vacations every year (maybe not overseas, but you can get away) -- listen to me. you've been boiled like frogs. you are lower class. i'm not even finished the list. people are out there thinking restaurant workers getting $25 an hour is extravagance, but that's $3750 a month before taxes and average rent for a one bedroom apartment here is $1866 a month and internet is $125 and cell phone is $75 and electricity is $250 and we haven't even discussed what Loblaws is charging for a single avocado ($1.99, on special this week) and gas is $1.37 a liter so maybe we should put that avocado back, huh? because we've spent $3500-odd dollars and haven't even put gas in the car yet and i didn't deduct taxes, EI, and CPP

I mean I am using my Context Clues to guess that this thread is US-based, but I can say that about 10-15 years ago in the UK there was a... newspaper? NGO think tank? God I can't remember now. But someone realised that the economic class system in the UK no longer actually represented UK society, and so tried to make another.

Because, of course, that's the thing that no one has mentioned in this thread - classes are social stratas based on wealth, but with culture bolted on. The concept of upper, middle and working class didn't exist for Ancient Rome, which had patricians, equatores, plebians, freedmen and slaves. There's crossover, sure, but their society was structured fundamentally differently enough that the class system we use wouldn't apply - and vice versa.

Anyway, they tried making a new one, and I remember that the majority of my friends fit into one of the new classes. I think the best way to fit it into the old system would be financially working class, culturally middle. Can't remember what they called it, but that was the issue - the fact is, wealth and culture are no longer linked in the way they used to be. So yeah, of course there's a lot of cognitive dissonance involved now when people try to talk about class - we're still using antiquated terms and slapping antiquated political morality onto them when the things they describe no longer exist. Of course no one knows where anyone fits in. No one fits in now.

Edit: just looked it up and found it! Sociologists from UK universities put it together, and the BBC hosted it; looks like you can still take the test and see yours

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beaft

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

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autumngracy

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

50 First Doses

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

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bidoof

what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes

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foone

I just tried to wish someone "good luck" and my phone suggested I instead say "girlcock"

I just thought ya'll should know.

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helixsnake

I remember someone saying "mad scientists in fiction aren't scientists because there's never a control group"

I think if you've created an elixir that turns people into goat men you have sort have gone past the need for a control group. The control group is not going to placebo themselves into goat men. You can probably not run the control group, and safely assume that none of them would have turned into goat men. That said, having a control group for that would make the mad scientist seem extra crazy and be really really funny, especially if he was carefully testing them for goat like features from the dyed water they drank instead of the elixir

[ image description: two sets of screenshotted tags in different colours ]

#the real question is why arent any of them running it double blind #what if those guys are just turning into goatmen bc they know the mad scientists reeeeaaaaallly want them to

#it's also a question of sample size #if you turn one person into a goatman you might THINK you have an elixir that turns someone into a goatman #but make that a 75 person trial and suddenly you realize it's an elixir that turns you into your ideal body #and that one person was just a guy with a fursona and a dream

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