don being DISGUSTED by the thought of naming his son Gene

— Eric Holthaus, Bitcoin’s energy use got studied, and you libertarian nerds look even worse than usual 

unironically, ban bitcoin. just completely drive it underground. i don’t care how many people lose, this shitty meme money has gone too far and is contributing significantly to climate change and is a waste of everyone’s time.

I need to let you all know that I’ve changed my Privacy Policy. I will no longer keep any of my thoughts private. I will now yell every single thought I have out loud at the top of my lungs. There is no way to decline my terms and conditions. I am going to be yelling at the top of my lungs. There is nothing you can do to stop me.

can u believe some people can see a cat & not immediately be filled with absolute unconditional love for that animal. they dont even get the urge to kiss them right on their little baby cat head. thats incomprehensible to me

my friend was like “id die if i did that” bc shes allergic but her argument doesnt mean dick to me bc last time she came to my house she jammed tissues up her nose as if thatd help her & shoved her face into my elderly cat while he made dinosaur noises at her

somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

reblog the Awesome Grade picture for awesome grades

guys this really works i reblogged it and then got 870% on an essay

May your GPA rise due to clerical error.

this magical tumblr grade increaser comes once in a million years, reblog for good grades

S13E06 - The Mystery Pig

I can’t fucking breathe this is one of my favorite god damn tumblrs

ASMR God Speaks to You in Unintelligible Whispers (1 Hour)

Kay Nielsen illustration for “East of the Sun and West of the Moon. Old Tales from the North”. Tales: “East of the Sun and West of the Moon”, “The Lassie and Her Godmother”, “Three Princesses of Whiteland”.

i need a big burly gentleman to grab me by the ankles and spin me around until my spine is staight

iasip meme - [3/9] episodes

You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

This is literally how I would have done it

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16

VALID

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

You pleased a mad fae trickster

the cashier asked me how im gonna pay like in terms of cash or card and i just said “money” cause i meant cash and she went “thats how it works”

im the cashier