Schtuff

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that

i had to phone a taxi today, scary

every time i see this post i think of that person who posted on reddit that they wanted to go to subway for the first time but they were scared they would say the wrong thing so someone gave them step by step instructions for the entire process and what all the choices would be and when they would ask what question and i just think

someone will

someone out there will see you and say "yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways"

everyone needs that someone, and everyone can be that someone

The subreddit r/explainlikeimscared is a surprisingly good resource for this. People are always very kind and thorough from what I've seen, and I spend a decent amount of time there giving walkthroughs and answering questions when I know the process.

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

Me & the other drivers were really impressed when you swerved around all of us at high speeds & got to the red light before anyone else

Brian David Gilbert getting himself adopted by Dropout is one of the best trades of the century

mirror.mp4

Brennan absolutely betraying Angela.

Shoutout to my dyslexic girlies and folks. You are seen

i think, if they were real, they would hang out while waiting for the mortals in the time loop to reset. and they'd be buddies.

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Perfect example of an untranslatable joke. 😂

Jack Black did more of Hit Me Baby One More Time, and I am living for this.

BABYYYYYY I DIDNT KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE TODAY

What do the kids say now, this "goes hard"? Is that out of date? It slays? OK I'll be my age and say this fucking rules

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

curious friends and family: hey why does your kid have golden eyes

paladin who for sure fucked the dragon instead of killing it, thinking fast: dragons uh. reincarnate. surprised you didn’t know about that. it’s a common fact that i definitely did not make up. no further questions

#two senseis of different forms meeting in a forest and exchanging weapons in a show of trust and respect for the others mastery

Dropout makes you say sentences.

When people talk about needing to network/know people in showbiz. They're actually talking about "i need a cheerful, polite young man who is good at playing up the "horrified beaurecrat" while in a mildly sinister role in a premise that steadily gets more horrifying" and Sam Reich going "Oh I can get Brian David Gilbert!". They're talking about "I need a someone willing to completely straightfaced create a gag video parodying classic youtuber formula with a ridiculous premise but completely deadpan tone' and Sam Reich going "Oh I can get Sungwon Cho!". They're talking about "I need a guy who is willing to just be the creepiest most sinister clown with the goofiest voice and mannerisms" and Sam Reich going "Oh I can get Josh Ruben!". They're talking about "I need the goofiest guy possible to incompetently eat spaghetti and scatter it all around the set and onto my competitors podiums while doing witty banter" and Sam Reich going "Oh I can get Grant O- he has WHAT. Shit. Zac, Zac Oyama, where are you-"

sam and brennan’s greatest weaknesses (respectively)

(transcript under the cut)

Keep reading

The squealed “pleaaaase” sounded straight out of Invader Zim

nobody wants your birds, brennan

Shawn and Gus are drift compatible but under no circumstances should they ever be allowed to pilot a jaeger