young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can
STOP listening to the demon of capitalism and START listening to the angel of hedonism, i love you i believe in you keep making what you love forever ok?
The intense criminalization of physical confrontation is a significant factor in what has caused gun violence, particularly among young people. People need to be beating eachother's asses more. Genuinely.
"male loneliness epidemic" the boys aren't slapboxing anymore!
obsessed with comments like this because "coworker" could refer to literally any person yet somehow I (and 25k other people) can associate the song with coworkers on a fundamental level. like that tweet that says "coworker screensaver" too. it makes sense every time but I can't explain HOW
ok it's coworker wallpaper not screensaver I guess but I found what i'm talking about
op is the high hrothgar frost troll
Unironically I think we need just a more powerful DS again. Dual screens fuck. The amount of creativity and interactivity and cool UI that went into DS games is literally unmatched and like those things were tough as fuck too. Please hear my wish. I get that the switch is technically handheld and thus portable but also no it is not that thang is so delicate and lacks the sophistication of just being able to shut it at a moments notice to pause everything without having to hit a pause menu. Does anyone hear me. Hello. Pokémon ranger.
Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form
my opinion as an american is that we spend way too much time trying to save african megafauna and nowhere near enough time making fun of the english for turning an entire island--which was once a hazelnut food forest--into a goddamn lawn.
bill bryson once actually wrote down in a whole book and got published that the english were superb gardeners and i about threw the book out the window i was that outraged. the english!!! the fucking ENGLISH. them? that's who you want to laud? the english
the
THERE ARE A GRAND FUCKING TOTAL OF ZERO STAPLE CROPS ORIGINALLY OR EVEN PRIMARILY CULTIVATED BY THE ENGLISH. NONE OF THEM. NOT POTATOES NOT WHEAT NOT TURNIPS NOT RYE. THEY GNAWED THEIR ISLAND DOWN TO A NUB FOR NOTHING. THE WOLVES AND BEARS ALL GONE FOR NOTHING. THE WILDCATS AND BIRDS AND MUSTELIDS AND INSECTS, GONE IN THEIR THOUSANDS, FOR NOTHING. FOR SOME SHEEP. FOR
THEIR MAIN AGRICULTURAL EXPORT IS FAMINE
anyway the english approach to agriculture, biodiversity, and environmentalism is roughly on par with a dog's approach to someone else's homework and everywhere in the world that has inherited their cack-fisted disdain for nature has suffered immensely. i can't overstate enough how bad things have been and still are.
please make fun of them. it's the least they fucking deserve.
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cultural differences: first year of Uni our American friend asked us about wildlife to be weary of and we were like "??, this is the UK. The most dangerous thing is a fox and yet you're more likely to be attacked by a squirrel or a cow." And he was so stumped and was like "okay maybe not in the city but when you go camping? We're in Scotland. Scotland has bears" and we were like "No? We hunted all of our major predators to extinction. No more bears or wolves. God is that something you usually have to worry about while camping?" And he was like "yeah, we've got mountain lions where I'm from," as if that were a normal thing to say while we're all ?!?!. Anyway. America wildin'.
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I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.
Me without my glasses
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”
costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain
absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war
Mean Girls (2004) House MD (2009)
kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to have life experiences that were so utterly different from everyone else in my age group
“i had my first boyfriend in high school & snuck into clubs & did so many other crazy things!” good for you. i was indoors hyperfixating on something for weeks on end
