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If you live in the US, you should not be freaking out about nuclear war with North Korea in a “we’re all going to die” way. DPRK has one rocket that can reach the continental US, it’s barely gotten functional, and they have no warheads small enough to be carried by that rocket. They can theoretically hit Hawaii and Alaska, but Hawaii is a small, long-range target and Alaska has very low population density, so attacks there would likely be ineffective.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be freaking out about nuclear war with North Korea. It’s to say that you should stop being so fucking self-centered about it.

We’re not going to die. If we nuke North Korea, we’ll wipe out thousands of noncombatants, just like we did in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Even in an “ideal” outcome for that first strike, where Kim goes down immediately, his military apparatus will retaliate — against South Korea and probably Japan. This hypothetical nuclear exchange will kill millions of civilians who, surprise surprise, live far away and look sort of not-European. Then we’ll spend the rest of our long, non-incinerated lives bickering with each other over whether it was cool of us to start that fight.

If you want to speak out against Trump’s nuclear bullshittery, don’t bleat “we’re all going to die.” Yell “no atrocities in our name.”

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slimetony

my ceiling fan has been clicking for months now and im starting to think the clicking is morse code intended to subconsciously reprogram me to be sad and tired all the time

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qui-bono

Sounds like the ball bearing s are starting to go.

Yeah get a load of this guy over here. Dr. Knows Shit About Ceiling Fans. Let me tell you a bit about my background. I’ve had the ceiling fan since I was in the 5th fucking grade. I may have lost the remote for it years ago but believe me I know this baby inside out. I don’t know what the fucking a ball bearing is. I’ve never seen one and frankly it sounds like bullshit. Believe me when I tell you, I don’t have any patience for people who come into my life pretending to know shit about what goes on in my life. Think for a fucking moment before you come to me with this pedantic nonsense about ball bearings. Have you ever been to my house? seen my ceiling fan? I sincerely doubt it because I haven’t had friends over to my house since the Bush administration. Thats a very narrow window of time in which you could have seen my ceiling fan. And even then you probably hadn’t completed your course at the fucking ceiling fan academy. I worked at Home Depot for almost two years and I can tell you I spent my time in the department with the ceiling fans. I actually spent most of my time in the garden and patio section, but believe me, we had fans out there, big industrial ones. They kept us cool and I never heard a single fucking thing about a ball bearing. Please get fucked.

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[students conversing in background]

Phone ringing: ♪ Fuck me! Daddy better make me choke! ♪

Student: “Sorry, my mom’s calling. I gotta go get this.”

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I need volunteers

For what?

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

how do i get in on this

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iPhone needs a feature where an incoming call doesn’t take up the whole screen so you can do other things while you ignoring a phone call.

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ImageImage

this is the money seb reblog and you will find money in the next 2 days                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

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Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

imageimage

I am risking nothing

imageimage

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

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twirliest

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

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riarkling

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

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trapbvby

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

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