SORRY GUYS!

Whoops, I guess if you stay gone long enough the spambots take over... thanks to everyone who told me so I could stop posting creepy photos of sexbots... 

Anyway, a lot has happened since I last checked in!

We got married on the top of a mountain back in April 2018!

One week later, we both graduated!

Then we sold our house in Illinois...

And moved to Seattle!

I became a doctor! And joined the most loving, bold, smart group of residents helping to keep Seattle Children’s Hospital running. 

We’ve been climbing mountains (here’s Rainier!), camping, hiking, backpacking to our hearts’ content. 

Seriously, it’s gorgeous out here. Ya’ll should come visit.

I’m still riding my bike and lifting (we have a rack in our basement now!)!

My little sister got married! (In 2018, two weeks before we did!), moved to Seattle in February 2019 (8 months after we did)...

And had these beautiful baby girls in August of this year! They live 15 minutes away and it’s so freaking incredible to have them close!

My adorable nephew Xavier turned two this fall, is living his best life in NYC, and is expecting a baby brother in March!

Our sweet Moose turned 12 this September, and is strong as ever. He’s hiking with us nonstop, can still handle 30 miles in a long weekend, and is loving his life in the PNW!

So no promises I’ll keep posting (life is busy, ya’ll!), but I thought I’d see who’s still around and give you a brief update!

Just remembering

A few years ago I was agonizing over what to do when my rockstar undergrad with really bad depression had disappeared from lab once again and let her responsibilities (including animal care) suffer. I was keeping tabs so no animals suffered, but she wasn’t returning my emails and I spent a long time (and got advice from you guys!) trying to figure out whether I needed to let her have her space (I knew she was okay and attending classes, just avoiding me) or reach out. I ended up reaching out and we got together for coffee and had a very frank conversation about mental health where she decided she wasn’t in a place to handle lab, but I made sure she knew that I wanted to continue to be a mentor to her and didn’t think less of her because her mental health had interfered with her ability to do her job.

A few months later, because of that conversation she reached out and asked me to be a reference for her in her job search. She had interviewed with two labs and both PIs called and spoke to me. She ended up getting offers from both, accepted one, and has been doing a rockstar job, presenting at conferences, getting published, studying animal models of depression. She also talks openly, a lot, about the resources she uses to treat her depression and anxiety, and I’m sure she serves as a support for a lot of other folks dealing with similar issues. 

I’m just so freaking happy that our relationship didn’t end with that depressive episode slicing a divide between us. I’m so glad I persisted in getting ahold of her and so glad she came to meet me and talk with me. I’m so glad we kept those lines of communication open and so honored to have gotten to be a mentor to her in some small way. I like to think she would have gotten that job with or without the recommendation from our lab--she was an amazing scientist as an undergrad, and I’m sure she still is--but I’m so glad to have gotten to help her with that step. I’m glad she is getting to see some spoils from all the hard work she put in while she wasin our lab. 

Because I feel like I should tell someone

A friend of ours, one of Adam’s labmates, died this weekend in a kayaking accident.

It’s weird, because I’m in Seattle, and no one knows him. I’m holding up okay, but I can tell I’m off my game. My mind is distracted. I’m having to spend energy calming myself and focusing on my emotions to get through the day. But there doesn’t seem to be a neat way to say, “by the way, not sure if you can tell or not, but if I seem off it’s because a friend of mine died unexpectedly this weekend”. It just hasn’t seemed appropriate to work that into the day.

So no one knows. My attendings don’t, my team doesn’t, the folks I’m staying with don’t. Adam and I text each other during the day to check in, and I try to avoid the news stories and avoid thinking about his death while I’m at work, and then I come home and smile, and laugh, and wonder if I’m being dishonest by not telling them, or if I’m just protecting myself. 

I don’t want to talk to strangers about his life or reassure them. I don’t want their sympathy. I don’t want the questions. I’ve dealt with grief before, and I know when it hits me, it will hit me unexpectedly and powerfully. For now, just making it through the week. Home on Tuesday. 

I am a delightful creature

The week ahead!

Friday I leave to spend four weeks working at Seattle Children’s. It’s daunting--my first chance to really see how I stack up against other med students, and a chance to learn a TON. 

This spring I got docked on one of my evaluations for being “too confident”. This was the only criticism I got from this doc; I asked if he felt I was resistant to others’ input, unwilling to be wrong, or making mistakes. Nope, he told me, I was just presenting myself with too much confidence. I needed to be more humble. More meek.

Today, my friend had a resident dock her on an eval for being “too eager”. He didn’t like that she volunteered to take patients, offered to be the first student to present, and tried to answer questions, even when she didn’t know the answer. Talk less, he told her. Be more like your fellow student (who prefaces every statement with, “I’m probably wrong, but... *giggle*”). Be less visibly enthusiastic about the field you’ve dedicated most of the last ten years of your life to. 

Sexism, ya’ll. It’s alive and well in medicine. 

Look at this gif I accidentally made!

Sup quads

The week ahead!

Rigatoni with brussels sprouts, collard greens and mustard greens from the garden! Topped with homemade sun-dried tomato pesto. Verdict: delicious but not nearly enough food

A thing

A dude I talked to on OKC in 2010 and added as a FB friend at that time, but who I never met IRL (decided we weren’t a good fit/met another dude I started dating) just invited me to have dinner with him and his fiancee when I’m in Seattle for a month at the end of July... and I’m totally gonna take him up on it. He seems like a nice, normal dude and he’s got a lady so I don’t think he’s being weird and 2010 was a looooong time ago. But yeah it cracks me up that I live in a world where this can happen and I can be like “yeah, this is a normal, good idea”. So I’m gonna go have dinner with a dude I almost dated when I was 22 but who I have never met, and his wife. Rad!

Followed by a quick and beautiful 26 miler along the Mississippi river trail! Time to get ready for the wedding! @mtrose_americanteenprincess see you soon!!!

Followed by a quick and beautiful 26 miler along the Mississippi river trail! Time to get ready for the wedding! @mtrose_americanteenprincess see you soon!!!

Getting ready for @mtrose_americanteenprincess 's wedding by stuffing ourselves with grilled cheese and boozy cocktails at Me & Billy! Delicious!

So much good stuff on Netflix, so little time

How will I ever catch up?!?!

The week ahead! Back from the beach and working our way through allllll the garden veggies. All the veggies we eat this week (except the asparagus and the broccoli) will be from the garden! We also have frozen homemade pasta sauce, Italian sausage, and sun-dried tomato pesto in the freezer so we’re knocking down the pantry stores really well!