THE EMPIRE BUSINESS.

Breaking Bad S03E07 

wow, so the decade is really coming to a close pretty soon here, huh? if i’m being honest i never once pictured myself actually making it this far but here we are! i just wanted to take the opportunity here to briefly reflect on my time being here while thanking everyone whose had a part in making my time here the best, large or small. originally i joined tumblr back in early spring of 2012 when i had no idea what i was doing ( and still don’t really ) and was just kind of winging it as a rper. since then, and returning to tumblr in summer 2018 after a near two year hiatus, i’ve made some great friends and consider myself grateful to have learned so much over the years. it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, of course. life has always had its ups and downs and the next decade will be the same, just hopefully the ups will outweigh the downs, yeah? overall it’s been a worthwhile ride from start to finish. that said, there’s sill plenty to look forward to in the future and i hope that the new year which will bring a new decade holds only the best for all of you. be kind, be honest, but most importantly? bring me some egg nog. 

• Abuse of a physical, emotional, or sexual nature (more likely if it is child abuse)
• Domestic abuse (it can be argued that there have been a few instances of domestic abuse in Breaking Bad)
• Torture or repeated assault 
• Genocide 
• Human trafficking and/or slavery 
• Indefinite imprisonment or captivity in harsh circumstances 
• Warfare 
• Post-natural disaster crisis

• Lack of emotional regulation/uncontrollable feelings such as explosive anger or ongoing sadness (as seen in Rabid Dog, but also most of S4 and S5).
• Change in consciousness, which may include forgetting the traumatic event (Jesse had problems remembering Neil at first) and feeling detached from your emotions and body/dissociation (We’ve seen this in Season 4A and during the second teaser of El Camino).
• Negative self-perception, feeling of guilt, shame and helplessness (”I’m the bad guy”, Jesse’s reaction at finding the ricin in the roomba, Jesse giving the gun to Todd despite being in a position of power are just some examples, we’ve seen Jesse feeling each of these feeling constantly since S3)
• Difficulty with relationship, The person with CPSTD might avoid relationships with other people out of mistrust or a feeling of not knowing how to interact with others. On the other hand, some might seek relationships with people who harm them because it feels familiar. (Thanks to Walt’s manipulations, Jesse has left Andrea, after he’s out of the business, we’ve seen him with Skinny and Badger at his house, he’s quiet, letting them do the talking, and barely communicating with them; in El Camino, Jesse’s is surprised by the length they’ll go to help him, despite them being his friends, he’s also extremely distrustful and paranoic, feeling like he will die if he doesn’t escape, which to be fair is probably true, he’s also forgiven Walt multiple times, an example is the aftermath of his speech in One Minute).
• Distorted perception of abuser, this includes becoming preoccupied with the relationship with the abuser. It can also include preoccupation with revenge or giving the abuser complete power over one’s life (again, the ricin’s accident during 5x02 and the entirety of S5)
• Changes in beliefs and worldview. People with either condition may hold a negative view of the world and the people in it or develop a strong sense of despair or hopelessness about it.
• Putting oneself in risky situations (Jesse’s going to the Wielder’s place).

• reliving the trauma through flashbacks and nightmares (as seen multiple times in El Camino)
• avoiding situations that remind them of the trauma (he cannot avoid it while escaping, we can see an hint of this though after the first encounter with Neil, after remembering the other, Jesse gets in the car and puts distance between the two of them)
• dizziness or nausea when remembering the trauma (while giving the gun to Neil he looks both dizzy and nauseated)
• hyperarousal, which means being in a continual state of high alert (there are multiple instances in EC, like when he jumps after Todd opens the door to his apartment during one of the flashback)
• the belief that the world is a dangerous place (again, he tells Neil that he will die without those money/escaping, which is true but still speaks volumes of his paranoia and distrust)
• a loss of trust in the self or others (”yo, Skinny, why are you doing this?”)
• difficulty sleeping or concentrating 
• being startled by loud noises

• abusing alcohol or drugs (Jesse’s endless party in S4)
• avoiding unpleasant situations by becoming “people-pleasers” (he has a very hard time saying no to Walt, in S4 he lies to him because he’s scared of Walt’s reaction, in El Camino we see him worry about Walt’s being pissed about him leaving)
• lashing out at minor criticisms (to be fair though, Walt’s criticisms are often unfair)