(via deceptivelips)

Especially when during one of those golf weekends, he hosted a costume party, the theme of which was literally Versailles. This is the kind of shit that if you put it in a novel, your editor would say it was a bit too on the nose.

I see no damn lie

SHOTS FIRED!!!!!

Thich Nhat Hanh (via cosmofilius)

So I was watching one of those elephant documentaries and some guy walked over to the elephants and the elephants all crowded round to look at him and stroke him with their trunks.

And it reminded me how when there’s a cat in the garden my entire family will go out and cuddle it.

Guys.

Elephants think humans are cute.

Now we know what elephants blog about.

it’s actually proven that elephants view humans as we view cute animals.

elephants are so SWEET though you guys idk if you realize

like, they extensively mourn their dead and one of the things they do is cover them with leaves, and sometimes when people go to sleep on the ground in an area with elephants, they will wake up COVERED WITH LEAVES because some elephants found them and thought they were dead and it made them sad so they buried them!!!!!!!!  omg precious

and they aren’t really “scared of mice” but they will get upset and try really hard to get away from a mouse because (we think) they are really afraid of stepping on the mouse!!!  they know they are big and have big stompy feets and they are afraid of stepping on other animals!!!

also they form long-lasting friendships and when rescuing elephants it’s really important to keep friends together because they can get really depressed when they are separated!  when friends are reunited they make happy sounds and cuddle really close and it’s so cute and it makes me cry.  ;______;  i just, have so many elephant feels you guys

Ooho! is an edible, biodegradable plastic water bottle that can be eaten. It is made from seaweed and calcium chloride, and costs only two cents per orb to manufacture. 

(Source)

cool, but why?

The main reason is pollution, but I can see this having a lot of application in areas of the world where they can’t necessarily afford to produce water bottles. They’re enormously cheaper to manufacture than water bottles for the same comparable amount of water.

*goes into a bar and orders water orb like A Bug’s Life*

*slams down 50 cents* ORBS ARE ON ME TONIGHT BOYS

Poppin' orbs all day long. WHAT IN HYDRATION.

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid stupid

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid lazy

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid ugly

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid worthless

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid idiot

Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid fat

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids gender

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids sexuality

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids grades

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids hobbies

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids mental illness

Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kid or call them names

guide to telling when your nail polish is dry

step 1. It Is Not

are you reallllllllly a feminist if you ignore the struggles of woc????? are you really? (you’re not) 

The United States is sliding quickly into fascism. 

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.

that is one sadistic bird 

I am slightly afraid now.

I love birds?

African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.

I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.

Parrots are awesome.

I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.

He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.

Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble. 

Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours. 

If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!” 

If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.

But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all. 

Parrots are people.

@oneshortdamnfuse

This definitely changes my opinion of having birds as pets.

careers for women that we need to bring back

One of the best out takes from any television show, ever. 

HE FUCKING STRAIGHT-FACED THAT

This man is a guardian of the galaxy

you can just see the split second where everyone is processing what he said

Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia

Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.

The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:

The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.

Here are some of their stamps:

They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.

And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)

You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????

WHAT

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (via wnq-writers)