work in progress
Who are you to mark me?
I did not hear you call me by that name. But you burned me in the back of my neck, and i felt that. Now it's a mark from your prejudice for everyone to see. For everyone to judge. Who are you to mark me? Who gave you permission to make my choices more difficult to make? Everything i do, i do for me, but i'll forever be judged by that mark, you so confidently gave me. Will those burned letters be on my back forever like a carriage or will everybody elses eyes eventually be blind to that shame you put me in? You are the shameless one. Shame be with you.
Are you studying art at university or do you work? What do you do?
I don’t, but I just applied for next year, so let’s see :--)
panic in paradise
the floor is wet
the bed is filthy
my shoulders weary
your eyes soft
exploitation is my escape
my hair is greasy
my eyes are dry
the window is open
his eyes are not
i think of him with lust
my lower body glowing
by the thought of him
he makes me come
without presence
he comes here
nice dinner, deep talks
he never notice me
bend over
legs wide open
we go to bed
cuddle, is that it?
i give up, exhausted
and he fucks me silently
while i’m asleep
my skin is pale.
beige and pink.
i lie in the sun, sucking vitamins.
hoping i’ll look healthier.
i am small, but my body is wobbly.
it makes anxious at times.
it makes me powerful at times.
my eyes are grey.
they hurt from crying sometimes.
they feel like diamonds when i’m happy.
this pen i have is called beige.
rose beige.
that’s what my skin is like.
my brain is divided in two minds.
one mind when i’m smart.
one mind when i’m stupid.
lately, stupid wins
and i can’t remember my toothbrush,
i smoke too many cigarettes,
and i can no longer fit the pants my mom gave me.
i wish smart would come back.
i wish i had a tan.
i am awake
and i feel you
more unpresent than ever
how can you be
repulsed
by the touch of my hand
i know
i no longer have you
you broke every promise
sadness is never kind
neither is anger
but you told me
i was the kindest you’ve known
some new drawings
some new drawings
some new drawings
some new drawings
some new drawings