attention!!! i am currently seeking employment!!! i will accept any of the following offers:

The fact that the location of the world’s oldest tree has to be kept secret encapsulates everything that’s bad about humanity.

There’s a story about that, actually.

According to the smithsonianmag.com, the world’s oldest bristlecone pine was a nearly 5,000 year old tree later named Prometheus. In 1964, a man named Donald Rusk Currey decided to use an increment borer to determine its age (a process that cuts a small hole into the center of the tree trunk, and is not intended to kill the tree). Unfortunately, the borer got stuck. He and a park ranger cut the tree down to remove the equipment, and when they counted the tree rings, they realized their mistake. Oops. This incident lead to better protection of the remaining bristlecone pines.

There’s some wiggle room about what can be called “the world’s oldest living tree.” The world’s oldest living single tree is the tree that the OP is referring to. Its name is Methuselah,and it is also around 5,000 years old. Since its location is unknown, nobody knows what it looks like. But it might be this tree here:

But technically, it isn’t the oldest living tree. Let me explain.

It turns out that root systems of trees can send up genetically identical saplings (aka clones) via their root systems. Like so:

Which means the original trunk can die, but since the root system is attached to other trees which give it nutrients, it lives on. The root system can theoretically do this indefinitely. So the tree trunks could be fairly young, but the roots could be large and very, very, very old. So the oldest “tree” isn’t a small grove, it’s a logic-defying forest.

I’d like you to meet Pando.

This male quaking aspen covers 106 acres and is ancient. I’m talking an estimate of 80,000 years. The trees you can see are just “shoots” he sent up, and their average age is 130 years old. He is his own forest. If trees could talk, I’d love to hear what he had to say.

He might be dying, due to insects and drought (hmm, wonder what could have happened to cause that). A section of Pando is being studied in an attempt to find a solution. But in the meantime, we can enjoy him for his beauty.

TLDR: Yes please, protect the trees from humans!

that’s… not… what bi means…

In honor of arbor day we dumped 5000 spiders into the nearest river

im what the victorians would call a “vile, ill-tempered and thoroughly wretched little creature”

draw some fat elves you cowards you tepid fools

okay

yes good 

Hope it’s not too late to join the elf pudge party

Did someone say fat elves…?

@bace-jeleren, have you seen these high quality elves yet?

I haven’t seen the third elf and let me say that this post just keeps getting better and better!

beep

hello yes i would like to add some chubby elves (whut about them dude elves tho)

inktober day 10

cool propt dude

God I fucking love this post and it gets better and better with every fat elf

This is the best thing

@bace-jeleren have you seen these new additions?

1. I love this post probably more than I love myself

2. I love that people always think to tag me whenever they see it because every time, there’s a new fat elf!!!!!

hot take: hrt, gender therapy and trans surgeries should be free

if cis people don’t have to pay to have a body that doesn’t make them dysphoric, neither should trans people

So by that logic does that mean that I should get anti-depressants and all the other pills for my mental issues for free because the people who don’t suffer from them don’t have to pay to have them?

yes

And does that mean that corrective lenses should also be free, because people with good vision don’t need to pay to see clearly, and that devices to aid in mobility for people with limited mobility (from crutches to (practical) canes to wheelchairs to prosthetics) should also be free, because people who don’t have limited mobility don’t need to pay for them?

yes? why does everyone in the notes keep trying to come up with gotchas lmao everything to do with healthcare should be free

Then by that logic, healthy food and clean water should be free because without food and water we will die. Also, without water, hygiene will be minimal therefore increasing the chances of disease.

Yes. People should have access to a healthy happy life and the whole point of a society is to support eachother and work together. how brainwashed by capitalism are you to think food and water shouldn’t be free in an ideal world.

this post is such a wild ride every time. ‘so by this logic, people should have free access to the things they need to live and survive?????????’ like yes bitch, all of it !!!

This Zits comic from 1999 was 18 years a head of it’s time holy fuck

if wlw/mlm solidarity dont exist then

explain this 

Via Johnrre

#iconic lesbian

Idk why I’m hurt but I am.

I also saw somewhere that milk in commercials is actually white paint

ice cream in commercials is mashed potatoes

God bless Adventure Time