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obscure

@nikave / nikave.tumblr.com

"I only want to live in peace, plant potatoes and dream!"
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aesthetics Karen Page + gray

Bullshit, we are all lonely. I sometimes think that that is all that life is, we’re just– We’re just fighting not to be alone!
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“My husband had a sudden heart attack a few months ago. It was just a few blocks from here. They called me in to identify his body and then just let me walk right out onto 7th Avenue. I felt so lost. My friends were wonderful and supportive but eventually everyone moves on with their lives. I don’t have children. And I’m not a workaholic. So I was left with this intense loneliness and void. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Then one day I started researching dogs that are good for grief and depression. And ‘poodle’ kept popping up. But when I went to the rescue fair, all the poodles were gone. There was this one old dog in the back that nobody was looking at. She was skin and bones. She was trembling and scared and mucus was running out of her eyes. She seemed so fragile. She reminded me of myself. I named her Grace because I think my husband sent her to me. She’s my first dog. She’s been pure joy. We spend all our time together. She’s gained her weight back. She comes with me to therapy. We’re getting better together.”

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Sometimes I think about Christopher Tolkien going through his father’s old notes and finding a scrap of paper saying something like “plot twist: Morgoth invented Hobbits, who are secretly evil” and just burning that so no one will ever see it. 

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