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the only valentine’s day card you will need this year

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Kuroko: *phone starts ringing*
Aomine, looking to see who's calling: Lmao, you still call your dad “daddy”?
Kuroko, answering the phone and making direct eye contact with Aomine: Hello Akashi-kun.
Aomine: *chokes on drink*
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kibaems

we still have one more gayo after tonight…….. if key doesn’t open the show, mc, have 12 dance solos, collab with every artist, have 36 outfit changes, close the show with born to shine in a rain of confetti and fireworks and deafening applause then 2016 really is cancelled.

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Owari no Seraph: the OPENING shows Mika and Yuu sharing a forehead touch
People: just bros being bros
Tales of Zestiria: producer shoots down any possibility of straight romance for Sorey and calls Mikleo his "ONE and ONLY"
People: They are obviously brothers
The Legend of Korra: authors confirm Korra and Asami to be a couple by literally saying "KORRASAMI IS CANON"
People: but what is canon? Can we really say they are canon? We won't accept that
No. 6: Shion and Nezumi LITERALLY KISS TWICE
People: but friends can kiss, bros can kiss and keep being bros, idk that's just bromance
Literally every show ever: boy meets girl
People: THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY CANON AND NO ONE CAN SAY OTHERWISE
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I’ve got 99 problems and five of them are my former teammates. The rest were created by their massive egoistic existences.

Kuroko Tetsuya (probably)

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Midorima: What are you guys ordering?
Kise: I think I'll get a salad.
Akashi: I think I'll take all of that. *points at Kuroko*
Kise: Akashicchi!
Akashi: And I'll have it to go.
Aomine: How about keeping the gay to a minimum for once?
Akashi: You know very well that's not possible.
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Kagami: I’m your light.
Kuroko: And I’m your shadow.
Kagami, whispering to himself: I’m his light.
Aomine, hiding in the bushes and holding binoculars: this is BULLSHIT
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